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[a习作temp] Argument140 麻烦大家看看啊 [复制链接]

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发表于 2007-8-22 09:09:13 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
TOPIC: ARGUMENT140 - The following appeared in a report of the Committee on Faculty Promotions and Salaries at Elm City University.

"During her seventeen years as a professor of botany, Professor Thomas has proved herself to be well worth her annual salary of $50,000. Her classes are among the largest at the university, demonstrating her popularity among students. Moreover, the money she has brought to the university in research grants has exceeded her salary in each of the last two years. Therefore, in consideration of Professor Thomas' demonstrated teaching and research abilities, we recommend that she receive a $10,000 raise and a promotion to Department Chairperson; without such a raise and promotion, we fear that Professor Thomas will leave Elm City University for another college."
WORDS: 496          TIME: 00:30:00          DATE: 2007-8-22 0:19:21

The author claims that the university should raise $10,000 for the professor Thomas in order to keep the professor in the Elm City University. In order to support the claims, the author cites several evidences such as her classes are the largest and the money she has brought in research has exceeder her salary. However, the argument relies on a series of unsubstantiated assumption, which make it unconvincing as it stands.

First of all, the fact that the classes of Professor Thomas are the largest at the university is not necessarily to demonstrating her popularity among students. Maybe the students in the university are very interested in botany, so they all choose the class make the class is the biggest; maybe the course of the botany is easily pass and the professor gives each student a high score, all of this can lead the class to the largest. Without ruling out this possible, the author cannot make us confident that the Professor Thomas is very popular among students.

In the second place, the author assumes that Professor Thomas worth her annual salary because the money she has brought to the university in research grants has exceeded her salary in each of the last two years. It is not necessary the case. The author provides no information whether other faculties also attract much money to research in their field; perhaps other professors may be much more but are not given the salary as high as the Professor Thomas. Perhaps the money paid to research is not attribute to Professor Thomas, the sponsor just want to spend the money in the realm of botany and never mind which professor use.

In the third place, even if the money paid in the research is due to Professor Thomas, it does not mean that the Professor Thomas should be paid more. First, the author does not provide any information about the other years, perhaps the years before the last two years the money is very little, perhaps the money in future will be much less that the last two years. All of these possible can deemphasize the conclusion.

Finally, perhaps the most important assumption for the argument that the author claims that Professor Thomas will leave Elm City University for another college is no evidence. Perhaps the Professor Thomas does not care the salary at all, perhaps even another college provides high salary but Professor Thomas considers the Elm City University has the best environment for botany studying and she will never leave. So, it is too hasty to get the conclusion before providing the attitude of the Professor Thomas.


In conclusion, the recommendation that the university should enhance the salary of Professor Thomas is not well supported. To strengthen the argument, the author should provide the reliable evidence that the Professor Thomas worth the money. To better evaluate the assumption, I would need more information such as whether the Professor Thomas will leave if another university provides a higher salary.
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发表于 2007-8-22 13:15:59 |只看该作者
The author claims that the university should raise $10,000 for the professor Thomas in order to keep the professor in the Elm City University. In order to support the claims(删), the author cites several evidences(不可数) such as her classes are the largest and the money she has brought in research has exceeder her salary. However, the argument relies on a series of unsubstantiated assumption, which make it unconvincing as it stands.

First of all, the fact that the classes of Professor Thomas are the largest at the university is not necessarily to demonstrating her popularity among students. Maybe the students in the university are very interested in botany, so they all choose the class make the class is the biggest; maybe the course of the botany is easily pass and the professor gives each student a high score, all of this can lead the class to be the largest. Without ruling out this possible(these possibilities), the author cannot make us confident(用 trust 也不能用confident 呀) that the Professor Thomas is very popular among students.


In the second place, the author assumes that Professor Thomas worth her annual salary because the money she has brought to the university in research grants has exceeded her salary in each of the last two years. It is not necessary the case. The author provides no information whether other faculties also attract much money to research in their field; perhaps other professors may 与perhaps 重复be much more but are not given the salary as high as the Professor Thomas. Perhaps the money paid to research is not attribute to Professor Thomas, the sponsor just want to spend the money in the realm of botany and never mind which professor will use it.

In the third place, even if the money paid in the research is due to Professor Thomas, it does not mean that the Professor Thomas should be paid more. First, the author does not provide any information about the other years, perhaps the years before the last two years the money is very little, perhaps the money in future will be much less that the last two years. All of these possible can deemphasize the conclusion.

Finally, perhaps自己的ts怎么能用perhaps呢? the most important assumption for the argument that the author claims that Professor Thomas will leave Elm City University for another college is no evidence not supported. Perhaps the Professor Thomas does not care the salary at all, perhaps even another college provides high salary but Professor Thomas considers the Elm City University has the best environment for botany studying and she will never leave. So, it is too hasty to get the conclusion before providing the attitude of the Professor Thomas.


In conclusion, the recommendation that the university should enhance the salary of Professor Thomas is not well supported. To strengthen the argument, the author should provide the reliable evidence that the Professor Thomas worth the money. To better evaluate the assumption, I would need more information such as whether the Professor Thomas will leave if another university provides a higher salary.

不错呀~
大家的作文都一样,除了组内的人以外也没人会关心的!不用伤心~
怎样能把a写进时间呢?拍我时建议一下好不好?
我总是要写45+
我若没说,你怎么知道?

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板凳
发表于 2007-8-23 08:35:19 |只看该作者

回复 #2 wuye 的帖子

我是一看完题目就开始写了
不过现在感觉不怎么好
感觉每篇文章都不怎么精致
可能和我一开始就限时写有关

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RE: Argument140 麻烦大家看看啊 [修改]

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Argument140 麻烦大家看看啊
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