一大一小两篇作文，互拍！

夜空的彼方UID: 159120

Task1
The first chart below shows the result of a survey which sampled a cross-section of 100,000 people asking if they traveled abroad and why they traveled for the period 1994-98. The second chart shows their destinations over the same period.
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The two tables reveal the information that how many people traveled abroad and the reason why they traveled from 1994 to 1998, and likewise show where they traveled to. It can be seen that during this period, the amount of people who traveled abroad raised notably from almost twenty-two thousands in 1994 to nearly twenty-nine thousands in 1998.

The first table shows that among the four main purposes, the number of people who traveled in holiday were most, which grew all the way in this period, from 15,426 to 20,700, and just have a slight decreasing in 1995. People traveled for business were relatively less compared to holiday, just 3,155 in 1994, then increased gradually to 3,957 in 1998. The number of people who traveled for visiting friends and relative aims raised steady from 2,689 to 3,182, however, in the initial two years, decreased a little to 2,628 in 1995. Besides above, people traveled abroad for other purposes made up only a small proportion, and fluctuated from 982 in 1994 to 990 in 1998.

From the second table, it will be readily seen that Western Europe was the most favorite destination all the time. The number increased from 19,371 to 24,519, however, its amount proportionate to the total reduced from 88% in 1994 to 85% in 1998. North America and other destinations accounted remaining proportion. The number of people went to North America and other areas both increased, from 919 and 1,782 to 1,823 and 2,468 respectively.
(Word: 249)

[ 本帖最后由 夜空的彼方 于 2007-8-22 11:30 编辑 ]

夜空的彼方UID: 159120

Task 2
Topic: Without capital punishment(the death penalty) our lives are less secure and crimes of violence increase. Capital punishment is essential to control violence in society.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
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提纲：
第一段：死刑是所有刑罚中最严重的一种，它剥夺人的生命权，是对那些罪大恶极的犯罪分子的惩罚，同时对整个社会起到震慑作用，所以我认为，死刑能够对于控制社会暴力来说作用非常关键。
第二段：随着社会的发展，有些人提出来应该取消死刑，他们的理由是：死刑无法给与犯人重新做人的机会，而通过教育和改造，可以是很多犯人浪子回头。但是，他们忽略了一个很严重的事实，那就是，对于犯人的教育和改造，需要耗费整个社会巨大的人力和物力，譬如：需要兴建更多的监狱和改造场所，需要更多经过培训的教育人员。而教育和改造的成功率，并没有预期的那么高，所以，教育和改造，只能是一种辅助的手段。
第三段：对于那些罪大恶极的犯罪分子，施以死刑一方面是对犯人进行应有的惩罚，另一方面也是对受害者家属的抚慰。杀人者偿命是自古以来公认的道理，如果没有死刑，有些人便会存有侥幸心理，因此有可能导致犯罪尤其是恶性犯罪率的上升，对整个社会和人们的财产以及生命安全造成巨大的威胁。
第四段，教育和改造虽然很重要，但是，对于整个社会安全来说，死刑所起的作用更加的essential一点。
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As the most strict punishment, death penalty deprive the lives of someone who committed serious crime, meanwhile, can warn the ones who are likely offend the laws. Due to these reasons the death to the killers plays a key role to diminish the incidence of violence in society.

In recent years, an increase of violence both individual and political, has prompted a surge of public opinion on capital punishment. The claim that death punishment give no chance for criminal to rebuild his life, and appropriate education and transform have the ability to achieve this aim, sounds reasonable at first thought. However, several important concerns, which the claimer fails to recognize, would conduce improper social viewpoint of death penalty. Because of the immense consumptions of material and human resources to carry out education and transformation, for instance, it is needed to build a lot of prisons to confine criminals, likewise, implementing education requires numerous people who have been well trained. Moreover, considering the poor success rate of these measures, in essential, they are only supplement methods of death penalty.

It is death penalty the deserved punishment for the person who have been convicted of serious crime. On the other hand, it is the death penalty the appeasement for the casualty and his family. If the capital punishment is not in existence, it is possible that somebody will have the opportunity mind, as a result, it would induce sharply rising of incidence of crime especially vicious crimes for whole society, what is a serious threat for people's lives and property.

In conclusion, education and prevention are very important without doubt, I still stick to my opinion that because of its vital contributions to violence controlling, death penalty play a essential part to make a safer society.
(Word: 294)

[ 本帖最后由 夜空的彼方 于 2007-8-22 11:31 编辑 ]

djconanUID: 2257634

As the most strict punishment, death penalty deprive the lives of someone who committed serious crime, meanwhile, can warn the ones who are likely offend the laws. Due to these reasons the death to the killers plays a key role to diminish the incidence of violence in society.

In recent years, an increase of violence both individual and political, has prompted a surge of public不懂什么意思 opinion on capital punishment. The claim that death punishment give no chance for criminal to rebuild his life, and appropriate education and transform have the ability to achieve this aim, sounds reasonable at first thought. However, several important concerns, which the claimer fails to recognize, would conduce improper social viewpoint of death penalty. Because of the immense consumptions of material and human resources to carry out education and transformation, for instance, it is needed to build a lot of prisons to confine criminals, likewise, implementing education requires numerous people who have been well trained. Moreover, considering the poor success rate of these measures, in essential, they are only supplement methods of death penalty.

It is death penalty the deserved punishment for the person who have been convicted of serious crime. On the other hand, it is the death penalty the appeasement for the casualty and his family. 你用的词好高深，偶都看不懂。。。If the capital punishment is not in existence, it is possible that somebody will have the opportunity mind, as a result, it would induce sharply rising of incidence of crime especially vicious crimes for whole society, what is a serious threat for people's lives and property.

In conclusion, education and prevention are very important without doubt, I still stick to my opinion that because of its vital contributions to violence controlling, death penalty play a essential part to改成in making? make a safer society.

夜空的彼方UID: 159120

prompted a surge of public opinion

我想说的意思是：激起了社会意见的涌现，因为prompt有促使，激起的意思。

it is the death penalty the appeasement for the casualty and his family.

appeasement有减轻，缓和的意思,casualty是受害者
应该不难理解吧？？:O

death penalty play a essential part to改成in making? make a safer society.

Nod，是改成in making比较妥当一些！

谢谢djconan的修改！:) :handshake

forbeckUID: 2297645

你们俩太有毅力了~~我晚上上交，继续占楼;d:

67169619UID: 2320695

蒙牛MM  加油啊;d:

forbeckUID: 2297645

The two tables reveal the information that how many people traveled abroad and the reason why they traveled from 1994 to 1998, and likewise show where they traveled to. It can be seen that during this period, the amount of people who traveled abroad raised notably from almost twenty-two thousands in 1994 to nearly twenty-nine thousands in 1998.

The first table shows that among the four main purposes, the number of people who traveled in holiday were the most, which grew all the way in this period, from 15,426 to 20,700, and just had a slight decreasing in 1995. People traveled for business were relatively less compared to holiday, just 3,155 in 1994, then increased gradually to 3,957 in 1998. The number of people who traveled for visiting friends and relative aimed raised steady from 2,689 to 3,182, however, in the initial two years, it(缺个主语吧，不知道能不能这样用) decreased a little to 2,628 in 1995. Besides above, people traveled abroad for other purposes made up only a small proportion, and fluctuated from 982 in 1994 to 990 in 1998.（前面已经使用过一样的句式了，要不简单点，就写成982 to 990 from 1994 to 1998 ?）

From the second table, it will be readily seen that Western Europe was the most favorite destination all the time. The number increased from 19,371 to 24,519, however, its amount proportionate to the total reduced from 88% in 1994 to 85% in 1998. North America and other destinations accounted remaining proportion. The number of people who(要不这句变成number 到北美去了) went to North America and other areas both increased, from 919 and 1,782 to 1,823 and 2,468 respectively.
(Word: 249)
有几个时态前后不一致

[ 本帖最后由 forbeck 于 2007-8-22 16:06 编辑 ]

67169619UID: 2320695

:victory:

djconanUID: 2257634

我这周六就考了，在没有毅力哪行啊:)

67169619UID: 2320695

加油啊
祝你好运

forbeckUID: 2297645

好象你昨天的那篇我也还没改吧？

那我把天空同学着剩下的半篇看完，就帮你看看吧！把楼给填了~~~~~

作文~~~~~~~~~

forbeckUID: 2297645

As the most strict punishment, death penalty deprive the lives of someone who committed serious crime, meanwhile, can warn the ones who are likely offend the laws. Due to these reasons， the death to the killers plays a key role to diminish the incidence of violence in society.

In recent years, an increase of violence both individual and political, has prompted a surge of public opinion on capital punishment. The claim that death punishment gives no chance for criminal to rebuild his life（我查了字典，give … for…只有购买的意思，我觉得可以改为gives no chance to criminal of rebuliding his life?）  , and（改成转折，可能会顺点吧？要不两个and） appropriate education and transform have the ability to achieve this aim, sounds reasonable at first thought. However, several important concerns, which the claimer fails to recognize, would conduce improper social viewpoint of death penalty. Because of the immense consumptions of material and human resources to carry out education and transformation, for instance, it is needed to build a lot of prisons to confine criminals, likewise, implementing education requires numerous people who have been well trained. Moreover, considering the poor success rate of these measures, in essential, they are only supplement methods of death penalty.


It is death penalty the deserved punishment for the person who have been convicted of serious crime. On the other hand, it is the death penalty the appeasement for the casualty and his family. If the capital punishment is not in existence, it is possible that somebody will have the opportunity mind, as a result, it would induce sharply rising of incidence of crime especially vicious crimes for(to?)the whole society, what is a serious threat for people's lives and property.


In conclusion, education and prevention are very important without doubt, I still stick to my opinion that because of its vital contributions to violence controlling, death penalty plays an essential part to make a safer society.

(Word: 294)
考试的时候，速度快一点，然后把文章中的小错误检查出来~~

[ 本帖最后由 forbeck 于 2007-8-22 17:10 编辑 ]

djconanUID: 2257634

再不帮我改就没机会了，呵呵，我周六就考了

forbeckUID: 2297645

正在进行中~~~`

67169619UID: 2320695

加油;d: