明天考试啦，考前最后一篇作文，大家帮忙啊！

djconanUID: 2257634

2004.8.14(Ads makes us different or same)
Advertisements discourage us from being different individuals and make us become what they want us to be and look the same. Discuss.

As society has entered the information age and commercialization is sweeping across the world, advertisement plays an increasingly significant role in people’s life. Some people believe that people, under the influence of advertisement, become much more similar in both appearance and character. Others, however, disagree with this regard. In the following essay, I will briefly discuss both viewpoints and give some of my own.

It is admitted that since the advertising entered our life, people’s choices of purchase have been, more or less, limited to a certain amount of goods. A large number of people would not like to make a choice among hundreds of products presented on the market. Instead, they prefer to refer to some suggestions or search some information to narrow the range of them in order to make a more delightful choice. Therefore, it is likely that some people may choose the same merchandises instead. Another leading reason of making people disparate is that most people, especially young children, prefer to choose advertised products, which, they think, are the newest and most fashionable one.

However, it is not always true for all the age groups. First of all, it is the young people’s nature that makes them pursue difference. They regard distinction as a kind of individuality. Moreover, some experienced people may not choose the advertised one, because they think that the introduction of this merchandise is, in a sense, cheat our customers. Thus, the commercials could not affect people so heavily that it makes us disparate as it wants us to be.

From my point of view, advertisement is not a “machine” manipulating people’s purchasing behaviors, but only an assistant of buying goods.

forbeckUID: 2297645

今天就看你的吧！

预祝明天考好哈！:loveliness:

djconanUID: 2257634

谢谢阿
不过，帮我改一下啦，呵呵:handshake

67169619UID: 2320695

支持蒙牛MM

呵呵 ：帮人就要帮到 ，，，

djconanUID: 2257634

help me !!!!!

67169619UID: 2320695

:)      不用急 ，蒙牛MM肯定，，，

forbeckUID: 2297645

As society has entered(看了你这么多篇作文，发现你很喜欢用enter，而且很喜欢界定一段历史:) ) the information age and commercialization is sweeping across the world, advertisement plays an increasingly significant role in people’s life. Some people believe that people, under the influence of advertisement, become much more similar in both appearance and character. Others, however, disagree with this regard. In the following essay, I will briefly discuss both viewpoints and give some of my own.

It is admitted that since the advertising（这是广告业的意思吧？） entered our life, people’s choices of purchase have been, more or less, limited to a certain amount of goods. A large number of people would not like to make a choice among hundreds of products presented on（in?） the market. Instead, they prefer to refer to(what does is mean here？归咎于或者查询？)some suggestions or search some information to narrow the range of them in order to make a more delightful choice. Therefore, it is likely that some people may choose the same merchandises instead. Another leading reason of making people disparate is that most people, especially young children, prefer to choose advertised products, which, they think, are the newest and most fashionable one(这有点重复了，不过想不起来的修饰了).

However, it is not always true for all the age groups. First of all, it is the young people’s nature that makes them pursue difference（这有歧义，是想表达他们总喜欢购买不同的东西？或者改称adv形式呢？）. They regard distinction as a kind of individuality. Moreover, some experienced people may not choose the advertised ones（被广告宣传的产品不止一件吧？）, because they think that the introduction of this merchandise is, in a sense, cheat our customers. Thus, the commercials could not affect people so heavily that it makes us disparate as it wants us to be.（这句话没看懂）

From my point of view, advertisement is not a “machine” manipulating（which manipulates）people’s purchasing behaviors, but only an assistant of buying goods.

1、最好能开门见山先表明自己的观点。
2、可能是这个题目没有表达完整，这应该是属于argument的题目把，但是你的第二段却是在讨论原因，而且篇幅占得很大。这个影响可能会比较大，考试时需要注意下~~

[ 本帖最后由 forbeck 于 2007-8-24 13:04 编辑 ]

forbeckUID: 2297645

编辑了好几遍，格式就是换不过来:funk: ，将就着看吧

djconanUID: 2257634

advertising（这是广告业的意思吧？)  我觉得是做广告这件事。。。我想表达这个意思，不知道对不对？
refer to(what does is mean here？归咎于或者查询？)我想表达，参考的意思
pursue difference我想表达，他们喜欢追求不同。。。
ones（被广告宣传的产品不止一件吧？）, ones市one的复数
Thus, the commercials could not affect people so heavily that it makes us disparate as it wants us to be.（这句话没看懂）因此，广告并没有影响人们那么深以至于变得像人们想象的那么一样，我好像写错了，应该是the commericials could not affect people so heavily that it makes them the same as people imagine?这样写对么？

夜空的彼方UID: 159120

As society has entered the information age and commercialization is sweeping across the world, advertisement plays an increasingly significant role in people’s life. Some people believe that people（这一块连着三个people，第一个People's life替换成daily life，第二个some people替换成somebody如何？）, under the influence of advertisement, become much more similar in both appearance and character. Others, however, disagree with this regard. In the following essay, I will briefly discuss both viewpoints and give some of my own.

It is admitted that since the advertising（这里为啥要用advertising？） entered our life, people’s choices of purchase have been, more or less, limited to a certain amount of goods. A large number of people would not like to make a choice among hundreds of products presented on the market. Instead, they prefer to refer to some suggestions or search some information to narrow the range of them in order to make a more delightful choice. Therefore, it is likely that some people may choose the same merchandises instead. Another leading reason of making people disparate（disparate是不同，差异的意思吧？我感觉你这里想要表达的意思是使得人们趋于相同，所以用identical是不是合适一些？） is that most people, especially young children, prefer to choose advertised products, which, they think, are the newest and most fashionable one.

However, it is not always true for all the age groups. First of all, it is the young people’s nature that makes them pursue difference.（different merchandises?） They regard distinction as a kind of individuality. Moreover, some experienced people may not choose the advertised one, because they think that the introduction of this merchandise is, in a sense, cheat our customers. Thus, the commercials could not affect people so heavily that it makes us disparate as it wants us to be.

From my point of view, advertisement is not a “machine” manipulating people’s purchasing behaviors, but only an assistant of buying goods. （这句的思路不错！）

总的来说，感觉有点混乱，自始自终观点始终不明了，正如forbeck说的，最好能在文章的开头和结尾表明自己的观点。
句子上感觉进步很大，另外词语上能稍微注意一下就好，不要使用有歧义或表意不清的词，当你不太确定的时候，哪怕是使用一个简单词，也许自己很难察觉，但是在阅卷老师眼里会很“扎眼”的。

PS：祝你明天考试顺利！考完了别忘了回来分享经验啊！以后还要经常来这里！:)

djconanUID: 2257634

machine” manipulating（which manipulates）people’s purchasing behaviors, but only an assistant of buying goods.
这个的话，我觉得两个都行吧？我那个是动名次修饰machine

djconanUID: 2257634

开头这次没有表达观点，我是觉得，他这个题目是discuss类型的，新东方老师说开始可以不说自己观点，最后再说，不知道对不对??

thanks 我明天会努力的:)
以后还来这里，帮大家！！

forbeckUID: 2297645

这个动名词的修饰读起来很怪:rolleyes:

不管新东方老师怎么说，还是保险起见在开头说明一下自己的观点~~

哈哈！看到你的最后一句话最开心啦！:loveliness: :handshake

djconanUID: 2257634

:)

鱼丸子UID: 2388561

热心的同志很多呀。。。