Task2 首发求拍

kut1230UID: 2369693

剑6 Test 1 :45min

      Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and
not the real needs of the society in which they are sold.
      To what extent do you agree or disagree?

      Some people think that popular products stand their own merits in daily life. However,
I feel the question is not whether these goods are necessary to buy but whether these make
a considerable amount of profit.     

      Mankind can be always attracted by, for example, interested contents, wonderful motions
or kinds of touching scenes, then come to advertisement which composes of one or more such
traits. In addition, advertising play a significant role worldwide not just for entertainment but
an enormous profit. People seldom   buy commodities which they did not know exactly, however,
they will most probably purchase those unknown but shown on the television repeatedly.

      An up-to-date news is, the famous portable device manufacturer Nokia company, recalls a
specific kinds of mobile phone batteries which may inflame during charging, nearly 46 million
pieces globally.      

      Despite there is a risk within mobile phone, it is still a popular consumer goods. Moreover,
it is likely to be a necessity in our modern society. Making a call is just a handful usage of the
phone, for instance, playing games, listening music, watching video or even surfing internet are
almost possible in near decade. People in age from 18 to 40 possess a high desire of purchasing
that they are willing to spend money on merchandises with  multi-function, novel or sometimes
strange cover, whatever it is meaningful. For most of them, it turns out to be a waste, nevertheless,
for a country, it fastens the money liquidity then boosts the economy.

      Best-selling products disclose the requirements of community somehow, without considering
moral, I absolutely believe that these can reflect what the society really needs.

第一次写大作文,感觉有些地方不对,但又说不出来,请问有沒有偏题,因些题目沒完全看懂

forbeckUID: 2297645

占楼修改中~~~~`

夜空的彼方UID: 159120

赞
forbeck是个好同志！

forbeckUID: 2297645

Some people think that popular products stand their own merits in daily life. However, I feel the question is not whether these goods are necessary to buy but whether these make a considerable amount of profit.     

Mankind can be always attracted by, for example, interested contents, wonderful motions or kinds of touching scenes, then come to advertisement which composes of one or more such traits. In addition, advertising plays a significant role worldwide not just for entertainment but an enormous profit. People seldom   buy commodities which they did not know exactly, however, they will most probably purchase those unknown but shown on the television repeatedly.

An up-to-date news is, the famous portable device manufacturer Nokia company, recalls a specific kinds of mobile phone batteries which may inflame during charging, nearly 46 million pieces globally.      

Despite there is a risk within mobile phone, it is still a popular consumer goods. Moreover, it is likely to be a necessity in our modern society. Making a call is just a handful usage of the phone, for instance, playing games, listening music, watching video or even surfing internet are almost possible in（应该是at吧）near decade. People in age from 18 to 40（这么精确的数据最好能用上出自什么报告、调查这样的语言，要不这个例子太主观，即使是真实的消息，也有可能被误认为是自己编造的） possess a high desire of purchasing that they are willing to spend money on merchandises with  multi-function, novel or sometimes strange cover, whatever it is meaningful. For most of them, it turns out to be a waste, nevertheless, for a country, it fastens the money liquidity then boosts the economy.

Best-selling products disclose the requirements of community somehow, without considering moral（这种主观性的语言，尽量少用）, I absolutely believe that these can reflect what the society really needs.

1、  首先，你最好多看看，外文的格式：每段都是顶格写的，并且在两段文字中间留下一行，以求美观~~
2、  开头开门见山，好！
3、  Nokia的例子没有必要单列一段~~
4、  总觉得楼主的作文并没有特别扣紧题目来写，并且论证过程有点散。Nokia电池的例子用的也有些突兀了
5、  好现象是，楼主的语言流畅，句式多变，这在雅思这种纯粹的语言考试中还是有优势的

[ 本帖最后由 forbeck 于 2007-8-26 22:25 编辑 ]

forbeckUID: 2297645

:loveliness:

连性别鉴定都省了，好~~~~~

kut1230UID: 2369693

Got it. 谢谢修改
因为题目沒怎么看明白又怕偏题,所以什么都写点
外文写作格式下次会注意了