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长老三袋

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31楼

发表于 2007-8-26 14:47:42 |只看该作者

回复 #38 forbeck 的帖子

bang ni ding

朋友总说我笑得很放肆！
三日不读书就面目可憎!

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GriSSom.ZZX
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32楼

发表于 2007-8-26 15:49:06 |只看该作者

It is very important that understanding and communications among different cultures. In my opinion, travel (traveling) can promote this progress significantly.

（第一段言简意赅，明显的表达了自己的观点；就是有抄题之嫌）

Globalization inevitably bring (brings) impacts between nations in recent decades, (^and) increasingly become (becomes) a (去掉a) major problems and potential factors that may conduce (generate) culture collisions. Since the barrier in language and geography, it is certain that (^a) lacking (lack) of understanding between peoples with (of) quite (去掉) different culture background (backgrounds) and religions (, thus naturally generate->could naturally lead to) a huge number of needless misunderstandings and frictions. For a simply (simple) instance, the action (gesture) “nod” represent (represents) agreeing (agreement) and identify with somebody in most coutures （后半句没有看懂）,(;) however, the meaning of this action (gesture) is completely opposite in India, where nod (nodding one’s head) express (expresses) disagreement. Dragon is a symbol of absolutely prestige and emperor in Chinese culture, but it is described as monsters in most Western countries, which (^also) is a very classical examples (example) to illustrate the culture differences.

（感觉这段和traveling没什么关系，点头和龙在不同的文化中是可能有不同的意义，但和traveling的关系呢？把话题往这个方向上引）

Every (cultures each->culture or civilization) has strong as well as inferior points. United States is the leader of the world in the science and technology areas undoubtedly (提到is后面), while in (the) art kingdom, such as painting and music, US cannot (compare with->match) some European countries. Western medicine have very fast and obvious healing effect but at the same time have a lot of boring (side effects unavoidably->unavoidable side effects), (;) however, although (去掉) Chinese Traditional Medicine need a long period of treatment, yet have minor adverse effect to human body (个人觉得中药不是没有副作用而是没有西药说的那么明白，不过写作的时候也顾不了那么多了哦^-^，还有就是感觉你这句话的后半句最好重新组织一下，你用中药的疗程长去比西药的效果好，貌似药效的好坏和疗程的长短是两回事吧…). From these examples, it can be seen the necessity and importance of learning each other between different nations.

（好像仍然和traveling没什么关系哎～～）

In the process of traveling (traveling), one must (could) communicate with local people and thus understand the customs of other nationalities (nations). Take Marco Polo(for instance, who is a Italian traveller, in 14th century,->,who was an Italian traveler in 14th century, for instance:) he traveled from Europe to China and stayed in this country for several years, (.) in (In) this period, he learn (learned) a lot of things like “black powder” and “compass” what (which) were invented by Chinese and then were introduced to Europeans when he returned (to home去掉), these advanced techniques brought (imposed) enormous influences (influence) to (on) European civilizations and even to the whole world. So traveling indeed have very significant effect in promoting (去掉) exchanges between different cultures.

（你这段的TS是与当地人的交流能了解风俗，例子中似乎应该增加描写MP是如何与中国人交流的；而不是写他带回欧洲的四大发明如何重要，要不干脆就在TS中写traveling可以使文明之间互相学习；另外，最好举个现在的例子，古今兼顾可能好一点）

In sum, in modern society, we cannot emphasize (too much->much more on) the importance of communications between countries and (travelling,->traveling) undoubtedly play (plays) a vital role in this mission.

（结尾貌似稍微简单了一点，我自己开头结尾也不知如何很好的写，也不贸然给出意见了）

（总的来说如果是限时写出来的话基本不错了，在细节地方还要注意）

own sky 2 flY
too cute 4 wordS

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