Issue118 [奋斗0806G]第6次作业 求拍!(有拍必回，共同进步!)

神奇的光UID: 2398821

Issue118"In any field of endeavor—the sciences, the humanities, the social sciences, industry, etc.—it is not the attainment of a goal that matters, but rather the ideas and discoveries that are encountered on the way to the goal."

The speaker asserts that in any field of endeavor, the ideas and discoveries which are acquired on the way to attain a goal are of greater importance than the goal itself. I concede that the ideas and discoveries generated in the process of pursuing a certain goal is paramount, and it is often these ideas and discoveries that lead to the revolutionary breakthrough in certain realms. However, beyond this concession, we should avoid to underestimate the value of goals which we try our best to achieve.
In history, many scientific goals brought us ideas and discoveries with great value and importance. For example, while studying the X-ray, Becquerel discovered radioactivity, which is used widely in medicine and scientific research nowadays. Consider another example, Einstein, one of the greatest physicist, established the theory of relativity while trying to prove that the speed of light in vacuum is constant. Today the theory of relativity has becomes the basis of modern physics. Both of them found sth. more important than the goals thay went after.
In the fields of industry, the example of Henry Ford and his assemble line come to my mind. As the manager of a automobile factory, Ford just wanted to maximize his company’s profit, what he did was to make wokers specialized in certain procedure in the assemble line. But it turned out to promote the whole productivity of the entire industry. Obviously, it is Ford’s invention of assemble, rather than his goal to maximize the profits of his factory, improved American’s industry during the 1920s.
Admittedly, the ideas and discoveries come from the way toward a goal are what really matters. However, we should not underestimate the value of these goals. It is often this goals that give us the courage to overcome the obstacles to obtain what we really want. Martin Luther King，who devoted all his life to the goal that the blacks in America should share equal rights with the whites, proved that it is this goal that arouses the whole generation of American blacks to fight for equality, and finally get what they have dreamed of for many years. Through these fightings, the belief that all people are born equal is becoming widely accepted gradually.
In conclusion, in pursuit of certain goals, we find sth. and form ideals which are more valuable than the goals themselves. However, it is often these goals that give us the motivity to aquire the ideas and discoveries.Without the guidance these goals provide, maybe we will never get the true valuable things.

yuzhongwumeiUID: 2155222

The speaker asserts that in any field of endeavor, the ideas and discoveries which are acquired on the way to attain a goal are of greater importance than the goal itself.（好像反身代词用法不对） I concede that the ideas and discoveries generated in the process of pursuing a certain goal is paramount, and it is often these ideas and discoveries that lead to the revolutionary breakthrough in certain realms. However, beyond this concession, we should avoid to underestimate the value of goals which we try our best to achieve.

In history, many scientific goals brought us ideas and discoveries with great value and importance.（中间再加点论述） For example, while studying the X-ray, Becquerel discovered radioactivity, which is used widely in medicine and scientific research nowadays. Consider another example, Einstein, one of the greatest physicist, established the theory of relativity while trying to prove that the speed of light in vacuum is constant. Today the theory of relativity has becomes the basis of modern physics. Both of them found sth. more important than the goals thay went after.（总结一下全段，字数就差不多达到要求了）

In the fields of industry, the example of Henry Ford and his assemble line come to my mind. As the manager of a automobile factory, Ford just wanted to maximize his company’s profit, what he did was to make wokers specialized in certain procedure in the assemble line. But it turned out to promote the whole productivity of the entire industry. Obviously, it is Ford’s invention of assemble, rather than his goal to maximize the profits of his factory, improved American’s industry during the 1920s.

Admittedly, the ideas and discoveries come from the way toward a goal are what really matters. However, we should not underestimate the value of these goals. It is often this goals that give us the courage to overcome the obstacles to obtain what we really want. Martin Luther King，who devoted all his life to the goal that the blacks in America should share equal rights with the whites, proved that it is this goal that arouses the whole generation of American blacks to fight for equality, and finally get what they have dreamed of for many years. Through these fightings, the belief that all people are born equal is becoming widely accepted gradually.

In conclusion, in pursuit of certain goals, we find sth. and form ideals which are more valuable than the goals themselves. However, it is often these goals that give us the motivity to aquire the ideas and discoveries.Without the guidance these goals provide, maybe we will never get the true valuable things

乍一看篇幅很短，但感觉很有东西可读，文章的例子很多，我全都收了，回去背去，论证的脉络也很清晰，语法错误也很少，潜力无限啊，呵呵~~

总体的不足就是字数太少，每段都和开头段一样长，这肯定是不行的。现在也不限时，你为什么不多写点。例子是要和论证结合在一起的，你只要例子，又不加以论述，是不能够说服别人的。

感觉各段之间的衔接还是可以更自然的。应该有适当的过渡。

总之是很不错的，我很少给别人改这么少，语言上没什么可改的了。要从宏观上入手。过两个月就会很不一样了，加油。

神奇的光UID: 2398821

谢谢yuzhongwumei 的修改与鼓励！:handshake