argument170-spring第三次作业

hongdanUID: 2228730

While Gulf Coast (GC) oyster producers appear to make greater profits due to the success of killing bacteria, other factors that may influence people's attitude towards GC oyster should take into consideration.  People have been buying oysters of northeastern Atlantic Coast (AC) for the past five years, which has become a custom, and it is rather difficult to change this tendency.  Moreover, even if the bacteria in GC oyster can be removed, the bacteria's impact on oysters is still unknown.  Further, if the cost of killing is quite high, the producers can not gain profits yet.

Customers in California have been purchasing oysters in AC for five years, which is such a long time that the only reason of bacteria existence in GC oysters is not enough to explain the trend.  For instance, apart from the bacteria in GC oysters, the convenient commute route to AC contributes to the frequent business communication between California and AC while the complicate traffic to GC becomes a disadvantage; the good impressions of AC sellers also may solidate their common exchange relationship. Thus, the killing of bacteria is far less enough for GC to gain the trust and the favor of consumers. While the merchants take some measures to improve their products' quality and service, such as providing goods delivery, the results may still be unchanged. The opponents may decrease their price and provide goods delivery service at the same time, which makes the statement that the consumers will be willing to pay the same amount of money quite unpersuasive.

It also remains a question whether the bacteria will produce some permanent impacts on oysters immediately when they are in. Perhaps the later disposition of bacteria plays a minor role for the growth of oysters. It is entirely possible that the freshness of meats, the size and the flavor of oysters may be diminished to a certain extent. Just think, for an ordinary consumer, will he choose oysters that have ever infected bacteria or that have never infected? With the same amount of money, obviously, the consumer will prefer the original products. That the killing of bacteria is achieved, nevertheless, will not convince to entice people's purchase.

Finally, even if people attest to spend the same money on GC oysters as on AC, the cost of killing bacteria is not mentioned in this argument. How does the process devised to kill bacteria go no? Perhaps the process is so complicated and difficult to proceed that the required money will be a large quantity. A high-precise and high-quality facility may be very necessary and the corresponding investment will be very numerous. The twice amount of the pervious price will not bring benefits to the current development.

Only through full-scale investigation and consideration can an enterprise know how to do to gain profits. The whole purchase inclination and requirement of consumers, the influence of bacteria on oysters, and the cost of killing bacteria, and so forth, should be well analyzed and considered.   

life2008UID: 2401740

While Gulf Coast (GC) oyster producers appear to make greater profits  in future when they kill bacteria, other factors that may influence people's attitude towards GC oyster should take into consideration.  People have been buying oysters of northeastern Atlantic Coast (AC) for the past five years, which has become a custom, and it is rather difficult to change this tendency.  Moreover, even if the bacteria in GC oyster can be removed, the bacteria's impact on oysters is still unknown.  Further, if the cost of killing is quite high, the producers can not gain profits yet.(感觉第一段像是一个提纲,建议多看看范文)
Customers in California have been purchasing oysters in AC for five years, which is such a long time that the only reason of bacteria existence in GC oysters is not enough to explain the trend(看不明白).  For instance, apart from the bacteria in GC oysters, the convenient commute route to AC contributes to the frequent business communication between California and AC while the complicate traffic to GC becomes a disadvantage; the good impressions of AC sellers also may consolidate their common exchange relationship. Thus, killing of bacteria is far less enough for GC to gain the trust and the favor of consumers. While the merchants take some measures to improve their products' quality and service, such as providing goods delivery, the results may still be unchanged. The opponents may decrease their price and provide goods delivery service at the same time, which makes the statement that the consumers will be willing to pay the same amount of money quite unpersuasive.
It also remains a question whether the bacteria will produce some permanent impacts on oysters immediately when they are in. Perhaps the later disposition of bacteria plays a minor role for the growth of oysters. It is entirely possible that the freshness of meats, the size and the flavor of oysters may be diminished to a certain extent. Just think, for an ordinary consumer, will he choose oysters that have ever infected bacteria or that have never infected? With the same amount of money, obviously, the consumer will prefer the original products. That the killing of bacteria is achieved, nevertheless, will not convince to entice people's purchase.
Finally, even if people attest to spend the same money on GC oysters as on AC, the cost of killing bacteria is not mentioned in this argument. How does the process devised to kill bacteria successfully? Perhaps the process is so complicated and difficult to proceed that the money required will be in large quantity. A high-precise and high-quality facility may be very necessary and the corresponding investment will be very numerous. The twice amount of the pervious price will not bring benefits to the current development.
Only through full-scale investigation and consideration can an enterprise know how to do to gain profits. The whole purchase inclination and requirement of consumers, the influence of bacteria on oysters, and the cost of killing bacteria, and so forth, should be well analyzed and considered.
文章的逻辑主要错误应该说已经找出,但是对于逻辑错误攻击顺序的整理,还是有一定的先后顺序的,建议多看范文,另外,对于表达,在准备的基础上再追求句式的变化,能用简单的词句把意思表达清楚就好