ARGUEMENT193[5F]

lestouUID: 2260126

TOPIC: ARGUMENT193 - The Department of Education in the state of Attra recommends that high
school students be assigned homework every day. Yet a recent statewide survey of high school
math and science teachers calls the usefulness of daily homework into question. In the district
of Sanlee, 86 percent of the teachers reported assigning homework three to five times a week,
whereas in the district of Marlee, less than 25 percent of the teachers reported assigning
homework three to five times a week. Yet the students in Marlee earn better grades overall and
are less likely to be required to repeat a year of school than are the students in Sanlee.
Therefore, all teachers in our high schools should assign homework no more than twice a week, if
at all.
WORDS: 373          TIME: 00:30:00          DATE: 2007-11-10 16:52:43
The argument is well presented, but not thoroughly well reasoned. By making a survey of comparison of the
region of Sanlee, an area in the state of Attra where teachers assigned homework almost everyday
and therefore more students likely to be required to repeat a year of school, with the region of
Marlee, an area also in state of Attra where teachers assigned little homework and subsequently
students give a better performance, the arguer for decreasing the amount of homework assigned by
teachers in a whole Attra state seems logical. A careful examination of it, how ever, would
found how groundlessly it is.

In the first place, which is also the threshold problem, the argument is based on  a gratuitous
assumption that the performance of students are solely determined by the amount of students who
required to repeat a year of school. Admittedly, in some extent, and in some cases, such kind of
special students can partly reflect the whole condition of school; however, we could not draw
our conclusion that it is the only criteria. It is entirely possible that students in Santra can
perform better if our attention is invited to other aspects, such as the average grade, the
condition of graduates, etc. It is appears reasonable, therefore, for arguer to take  these
factors into account before he/she made out his/her judgment.

In the second place, even if the quality of the students does reflected in this particular
standard, the survey which the arguer cited as evidence are too vague and insufficient. First of
all, the statistic coming from only two districts, however, it is entirely possible that these
two districts are not representive of the State's school districts overall. Moreover, the
conclusion is based on only two subjects, but the recommendation is oriented to all the subjects
of teachers. In addition the arguer is also failing to consider the situation of the actual
accomplishment of homework. Perhaps the Sanlee students give an inferior performance only
because of they don't actually finish their homework.  Thus without distributing a more detailed
investigation of survey in the whole state, the arguer can not convincing me that the statistic
coming form it is reliable.

Overall, the reason behind reducing the amount of homework of students seems reasonable in the
above analysis since the arguer is acting in his well-meaning and wants to improve students'
performance. However, before any final decision is made about decreasing the homework of the
whole state of students, educational system decision makers would evaluate all the dimensions
that related to the performance of students in Attra as well as give a more reliable model of
investigation.

[ 本帖最后由 lestou 于 2007-11-10 19:08 编辑 ]

shuwenyingUID: 2233183

ARGUEMENT1935F
TOPIC: ARGUMENT193 - The Department of Education in the state of Attra recommends that high
school students be assigned homework every day. Yet a recent statewide survey of high school
math and science teachers calls the usefulness of daily homework into question. In the district
of Sanlee, 86 percent of the teachers reported assigning homework three to five times a week,
whereas in the district of Marlee, less than 25 percent of the teachers reported assigning
homework three to five times a week. Yet the students in Marlee earn better grades overall and
are less likely to be required to repeat a year of school than are the students in Sanlee.
Therefore, all teachers in our high schools should assign homework no more than twice a week, if
at all.
WORDS: 373          TIME: 00:30:00          DATE: 2007-11-10 16:52:43
The argument is well presented, but not thoroughly well reasoned. By making a survey of comparison of the
region of Sanlee, an area in the state of Attra where teachers assigned homework almost everyday
and therefore more students likely to be required to repeat a year of school, with the region of
Marlee, an area also in state of Attra where teachers assigned little homework and subsequently
students give a better performance, the arguer for decreasing the amount of homework assigned by
teachers in a whole Attra state seems logical. A careful examination of it, how ever后面用了一个how，这里不妨改用nevertheless表示转折，可以避免重复^_^, would
found how groundlessly it is.

In the first place, which is also the threshold problem, the argument is based on  a gratuitous
assumption that the performance of students are solely determined by the amount of students who
required to repeat a year of school. Admittedly, in some extent, and in some cases, such kind of
special students can partly reflect the whole condition of school; however这里用因果关系好像更好，没有转折的意味, we could not draw
our conclusion that it is the only criteria. It is entirely possible that students in Santra can
perform better if our attention is invited to other aspects, such as the average grade, the
condition of graduates, etc. It is appears去掉这两个中的一个 reasonable, therefore, for这两个连词重复了，therefore后面跟的是结果，for后面跟的是原因。其次，therefore是副词，不能作连词使用，也就是说，如果你想使用therefore必须将这个句子分成两个句子。如果你想写复句，就要用连词because, so …… arguer to take  these
factors into account before he/she made out去掉 his/her judgment.

In the second place, even if the quality of the students does reflected in this particular
standard, the survey which the arguer cited as evidence are too vague and insufficient. First of
all, the statistic coming from only two districts, however, it is entirely possible that these
two districts are not representive of the State's school districts overall. Moreover, the
conclusion is based on only two subjects, but the recommendation is oriented to all the subjects
of teachers. In addition the arguer is also failing to这里用现在进行时不合适，改用一般过去时或者一般现在时 consider the situation of the actual
accomplishment of homework. Perhaps the Sanlee students give an inferior performance only
because of they don't actually finish their homework.  Thus without distributing a more detailed
investigation of survey in the whole state, the arguer can not convincing me that the statistic
coming form it is reliable.

Overall, the reason behind reducing the amount of homework of students seems reasonable in the
above analysis since the arguer is acting in his well-meaning and wants to improve students'
performance这个句子有点结构有点不顺，不太懂是什么意思……. However, before any final decision is made about decreasing the homework of the
whole state of students, educational system decision makers would evaluate all the dimensions
that related to the performance of students in Attra as well as give a more reliable model of
investigation.

哦，我明白了，事实上我们两个涉及到的攻击点大致相同，只是在编排上不同
楼主是这样写的
1 留级跟改善教学质量的不相关性
2 调查设计不合理，两个区不能代表整个state的情况。但是我觉得楼主在这里漏了一点：这两个区的错误类比。
我是按照错误的严重程度来安排的
1 用两个科目代表所有的科目
2 两个区之间的错误类比，其中包括作业类型、作业量；留级与成绩是否反应学生素质；
3 仅仅两个区的结果不能反映整个state of Attra的情况

在30Min这么短的时间内完成已经很好了，注意句子里面谓语的使用和动词时态的选择～～～
谢谢你的认真批改

[ 本帖最后由 shuwenying 于 2007-11-11 22:47 编辑 ]