Argument147【0806G-Sunbird小组】第3次作业

MusingUID: 2362177

In this argument,the author concludes that the sales of Whirlwind(W) video games will be increase dramatically in the next few months because W brings some new elements in their games according to an ill-convince survey.At first glance,the author's reasoning seems to be appealling,while clearly examining the author's reasoning,we may find that it is unconvincing.The argument contains several facets
that are questionable.

To the begining,video-game players who are asked in the survey would like to prefer games that provide lifelike graphics.Admittedly,
this is a great advise to improve W's produces.Yet that don't mean they are willing to buy their produces.Perhaps they,maybe students or incomeless classes,are not afford to buy such expensive mechines to adopt the up-to-date games.Or perhaps they tend to the other company's products which is better quality than W.

Secondly,W is failing to consider the other possible causes to affect the sales over the past two years.Such causes may include the
extend of popular of video-games.Moreover,it is possible that the price of W's products are too high to afford,people would choice
more cheap but pragmatic games such as PC games.In addition,video-games,playing in the healthless monitor,is more harmful to
our sight.Obviously,W does not provide enough informations on the claim that people,10 to 25 years old,is the age-group most likely
to play video games.

At last,the argument concludes on a known correlation between an extensive advertising campaign and the sales increasing that the
latter is attributable, at least, to the former.Yet the correlation alone amounts to scant evidence of the claimed cause-and-effect
relationship.Maybe people do not believe in the advertisement or even they do not watch it at all.In any events,what is extremely important is the quality of one product,if the quality isn't reach the standard otherwise people would choice others,at least not W's.

Overall,the reasoning seems logical as presented above since W eagers to enhance the sales of W video-games.However,before any
final decisions are made,W should evaluate all possible alternatives and causes.

yolanda419UID: 2420192

  

   In this argument, the author concludes that the sales of Whirlwind(W) video games will be increase dramatically in the next few months because W brings（has brought） some new elements in their games according to an ill-convinced survey. At first glance, the author's reasoning seems to be appealing, while clearly examining the author's reasoning, we may find that it is unconvincing. The argument contains several facets that are questionable.

    To the beginning, video-game players who are asked in the survey would like to prefer games that provide lifelike graphics(有点拗口，表达成：the survey showed that video-game players prefer games that provide lifelike graphics会不会好点？). Admittedly,this is a great advise to improve W's produces. Yet that don't（it doesn’t） mean they are willing to buy their produces .Perhaps they, maybe students or incomeless (low income) classes, are not afford(able, afford是动词) to buy such expensive mechines（machines） to adopt the up-to-date games. Or perhaps they tend to the other company's products which are better quality (+or cheaper) than W.

  

   Secondly, W is failing to consider the other possible causes to affect the sales over the past two years. Such causes may include(such as) the extend of popular of video-games. Moreover, it is possible that the price of W's products are too high to afford, people would choice(choose) more cheap but pragmatic games such as PC games. In addition, video-games, playing in the healthless(unhealthful) monitor, is more harmful to our sight. Obviously, W does not provide enough informations(information好像是不可数名词吧，改成：evidence较好) on the claim that people10 to 25 years old, is the age-group most likely to play video games.At last, the argument concludes on a known correlation between an extensive advertising campaign and the sales increasing that the latter is attributable, at least, to the former. Yet the correlation alone amounts to scant evidence of the claimed cause-and-effect relationship .Maybe people do not believe in the advertisement or even they do not watch it at all. （这个论点有点弱，相不相信跟有没有看到广告都是很主观的，从营销学的角度来说，有没有宣传效果相差很大的）In any events, what is extremely important is the quality of one product, if the quality isn't reach the standard otherwise people would choice others, at least not W's.
   

    Overall, the reasoning seems logical as presented above since W eager to enhance the sales of W video-games .However, before any final decisions are made, W should evaluate all possible alternatives and causes.

感觉作者的论述不是很有条理，没有抓住最主要的矛盾——调查的可靠性影响销售量的多因素化（当然，我也是看了范文之后才知道）；还有就是作者对单词的词性好像掌握得不是很好，有一些语法上的错误，可能是写得太赶了吧。不过开头和结尾还是挺好的。——这些只是我的个人观点，不知道说得对不，我自己写得更差。一起加油吧：）

[ 本帖最后由 yolanda419 于 2007-11-18 15:46 编辑 ]