Argument147 【0806G--sunbird小组】第三次作业

reachyUID: 2276902

Argument147
The following appeared in an editorial in a business magazine.
"Although the sales of Whirlwind video games have declined over the past two years, a recent survey of video-game players suggests that this sales trend is about to be reversed. The survey asked video-game players what features they thought were most important in a video game. According to the survey, players prefer games that provide lifelike graphics, which require the most up-to-date computers. Whirlwind has just introduced several such games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old, the age-group most likely to play video games. It follows, then, that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months.
(本周工作太多，还没来及写，只写了个提纲，明天不上)
从三个方面反驳：
1.       调查的玩家未必都玩过Whirlwind video games,不一定具有代表性，所以他们的预测不可信。
2.       效果好的游戏需要最新的电脑，而新电脑的价格不匪，未必每个玩家都能买的起，也就意味着该游戏销量未必会随其游戏本身升级而增加。
3.       针对10到25岁的玩家设计的游戏，不代表他们就会喜欢，况且该年龄段喜欢玩游戏，不一定非要玩Whirlwind video games，这依然不能说明该游戏会销量增加，即便增加也未必increase “dramatically”.

In this editorial the author concludes that the sales of Whirlwind video games would increase dramatically in the next few months, though the sales have declined over the past two years. To support this conclusion the author point out that a survey of video-game players has analyzed the situation of video-game market and suggests that the sales of Whirlwind video games is about to be reversed. However, the evident from the survey lends little credible support for the argument.
At first, some of the video-game players asked by the survey might have never played Whirlwind video games or they have not paid too much attention on these games. And some of video players would like the contents of games itself rather than the beautiful pictures. So the suggestions from them, like providing lifelike graphics, may hardly attract more video-game players or convince them to buy these new games.
Secondly, the argument said that lifelike graphics in the games required the most up-to-date computers. We know that every new product in IT areas would be very expensive because of its better properties or convenient functions. So it is hard to estimate how many players would like spend such money on the new games. And most of the players of video games are young, as the argument said. Few of them possess so much money to renew their computers with generating of new games, even though how attractive the games have been made by the producers.
Finally, the author said that Whirlwind had just introduced several such games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old, the age-group most likely to play video games. However, it does not mean that these players would love the games. Maybe they like some other kinds, for the results are always counterproductive even if the designers spent too much time on such games. And there are so many producers of video games now; the players could buy the products of the others who have better and cheaper games. At last, even if the sales of Whirlwind will increase in the next few months, it is unknown whether the trend would be dramatically.
In sum, the editorial has not convinced me that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months. To bolster it the author should provide much more evident that the players are able to buy these games and the appraisements of the players who have played them tentatively are good.
白天有点事给耽搁了，不好意思。

[ 本帖最后由 reachy 于 2007-11-18 17:16 编辑 ]

MusingUID: 2362177

In this editorial the author concludes that the sales of Whirlwind video games would increase dramatically in the next few months, though the sales have declined over the past two years. To support this conclusion the author point out that a survey of video-game players has analyzed (主语是survey,怎么写成has analyzed) the situation of video-game market and suggests that the sales of Whirlwind video games is about to be reversed. However, the evident from the survey lends little credible support(supporting) for the argument.
At first, some of the video-game players asked by the survey might have never played Whirlwind video games or they have not paid too much attention on these games. And some of video players would like the contents of games itself rather than the beautiful pictures. So the suggestions from them, like providing lifelike graphics, may hardly attract more video-game players or convince them to buy these new games.
Secondly, the argument said that lifelike graphics in the games required the most up-to-date computers. We know that every new product in IT areas would be very expensive because of its better properties or convenient functions. So it is hard to estimate how many players would like spend such money on the new games. And most of the players of video games are young, as the argument said. Few of them possess so much money to renew their computers with generating of new games, even though how attractive the games have been made by the producers.
Finally, the author said that Whirlwind had just introduced several such games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old, the age-group most likely to play video games. However, it does not mean that these players would love the games. Maybe they like some other kinds, for the results are always counterproductive even if the designers spent too much time on such games. And there are so many producers of video games now; the players could buy the products of the others who have better and cheaper games. At last, even if(前面有个,重复了) the sales of Whirlwind will increase in the next few months, it is unknown whether the trend would be dramatically.
In sum, the editorial has not convinced me that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months. To bolster up it the author should provide much more evident that the players are able to buy these games and the appraisements of the players who have played them tentatively are good.

总的来说写的蛮好啦
不过要注意小的问题还有使句子变的漂亮!
我也是第一次改!有什么不对的地方见谅!!