Argument3【0806G-Sunbird小组】第6次作业

liouvilleUID: 2412940

Argument3. The following appeared in a newspaper article about law firms in the city of Megalopolis.

"In Megalopolis, the number of law school graduates who went to work for large, corporate firms declined by 15 percent over the last three years, whereas an increasing number of graduates took jobs at small, general practice firms. Even though large firms usually offer much higher salaries, law school graduates are choosing to work for the smaller firms most likely because they experience greater job satisfaction at smaller firms. In a survey of first-year students at a leading law school, most agreed with the statement that earning a high salary was less important to them than job satisfaction. This finding suggests that the large, corporate firms of Megalopolis will need to offer graduates more benefits and incentives and reduce the number of hours they must work."


The speaker suggests in the statement that large and corporate firms in Megalopolis should provide more benefits and incentives and short the number of working hours to attract more graduates, to support this, the speaker points out evidence that the number of law school graduates who went to large and corporate firms decreased by 15 percent in last three years, in addition, he cites a survey of first-year students at a top law school that most of them choose a work of satisfaction rather than a work of more salary. the statement seems logical, actually, it does not provide convincing support to the conclusion after more careful examination.
Firstly, the speaker does not explain the cause of the decreasing graduates’ number selecting to work in large and corporate firms. as we know, a student will consider many factors when he graduate from school and start to find a job, maybe the decrease of the number is because of the great competition stress in these firms or the change of employment tendency, many students prefer to the easy and loose firm culture of small and general practice firms. In addition, people, especially newly graduated students, are inclined to make full use of the knowledge they have learned and exhibit themselves, there will be more chance for them in small firms.
Secondly, the survey of first-year students in leading law school is not representative enough to express the thoughts of students from law school. first-year students are totally different with graduate, they do not have enough knowledge and experience and also do not have to face the reality of employment, life and society, so their thoughts may be not mature enough or even realistic. Furthermore, the students surveyed are from top law schools, which means they are different with students from other general even bad schools, they have the superiority and advantage, it is a little easier for them to find a job even an interest job, therefore, they can not fully understand the thinking of students of general schools.
Thirdly, job satisfaction contains a lot, not only the aspects of benefits and incentives and short working hours mentioned by the speaker. Maybe they need to consider the reputation of the company, to know the work contents in the firms, to know whether they can develop themselves, to make sure whether they can have a bright future.
In summary, the conclusion of the statement does not have compelling evidence and lacks credibility, to make it more convincing, the speaker should make more evidence about the cause of the decreasing number of graduates who went to large and corporate firms, also a more detailed and representative and general survey of law school students should be performed.
  
自己第一篇argument, 谢谢。希望以后能逐步变好。
Time: 50minutes          words:452

hope~~UID: 2416007

The speaker suggests in the statement that large and corporate firms in Megalopolis should provide more benefits and incentives and short the number of working hours to attract more graduates, to support this, the speaker points out evidence that the number of law school graduates who went to large and corporate firms decreased by 15 percent in last three years, in addition, he cites a survey of first-year students at a top law school that most of them choose a work of satisfaction rather than a work of more salary. The statement seems logical; actually, it does not provide convincing support to the conclusion after more careful examination.
Firstly, the speaker does not explain the cause of the decreasing graduates’ number selecting to work in large and corporate firms. as we know, a student will consider many factors when he graduate from school and start to find a job, maybe the decrease of the number is because of the great competition stress in these firms or the change of employment tendency, many students prefer to the easy and loose firm culture of small and general practice firms. In addition, people, especially newly graduated students, are inclined to make full use of the knowledge they have learned and exhibit themselves, there will be more chance for them in small firms.（既然前面说是人们都这么认为的，后面就不能证明小公司的机会会更多，可能大公司一样啊）
Secondly, the survey of first-year students in leading law school is not representative enough to express the thoughts of students from law school. first-year students are totally different with graduate, they do not have enough knowledge and experience and also do not have to face the reality of employment, life and society, so their thoughts may be not mature enough or even realistic. Furthermore, the students surveyed are from top law schools, which means they are different with students from other general even bad schools（general schools改成一般的学校会更好吧。或者是较差些的学校！这样写好像是坏学校是的！）, they have the superiority and advantage, it is a little easier for them to find a job even an interest job, therefore, they can not fully understand the thinking of students of general schools.
Thirdly, job satisfaction contains a lot, not only the aspects of benefits and incentives and short working hours mentioned by the speaker. Maybe they need to consider the reputation of the company, to know the work contents in the firms, to know whether they can develop themselves, to make sure whether they can have a bright future.
In summary, the conclusion of the statement does not have compelling evidence and lacks credibility, to make it more convincing, the speaker should make more evidence about the cause of the decreasing number of graduates who went to large and corporate firms, also a more detailed and representative and general survey of law school students should be performed.
基本上写的不错!基本没有语法错误!文章的错误基本都指出来了!要是在深入些就更好了!
欢迎回拍!:loveliness:

[ 本帖最后由 hope~~ 于 2007-12-2 02:53 编辑 ]

liouvilleUID: 2412940

谢谢指教，一定回拍。