argu110[lestou小组11月28]

komy_leeUID: 2364433

In this argument, the author makes a recommendation that Sherwood can use Day Glow light bulbs in winter to improve students’ academic performance and teachers’ morale. However, the rationale behind the recommendation seems to be indefensible.

The most important flaw which weakens to argument is that the author hastily set a casual correlation between the lighting in classrooms and students academic performance and teacher morale. Admittedly, the latter happens coincide with the latter, but no evidence is given to support that the latter is the result of the former. It is highly possible that teacher act in without energy at school because they spend too much time on family, just as doing housework, educating their own children; it is also possible that the work of teaching exerts too much pressure on them. on other hand, the students’ bad behavior in academic performance may be the result of the extreme pressure burdened on their shoulders. Without ruling out such possibly factors that affect the students’ academic performance and teacher morale, it is unfairly to draw out any firm conclusion.

The second flaw that undermines the argument is that the author fails to consider and rule out other factors accounting to the drop of participation, the decline of grades and the highest resignation. It is extremely possible that the poor show of students and teachers has little relation with the lack of daylight. On contrary, the bad weather, heavy traffic and some personal fairs all can explain why participation drops. As mentioned earlier, there exist many possible explanations to the decline of grades except the lack of lighting. In addition, the author fails to give the exact number of the teachers who resign in December and January. So even if it is the highest compared the other months, there is no evidence the number is large. Absence of such information, we cannot accept any conclusion drawn from the records.

Last but not least, the author commits a false analogy between Sherwood High and Tundra Vocational School. On one hand, no evidence is given to support the assumption that there is a casual correlation between the installing of Day Glow and the increase of student’s grade point. On another hand, even if the former has some good effect on the latter, there is no evidence given to support the assumption that the measure adopted by Tundra Vocational School can apply Sherwood High. It is highly possible that there exist many differences between the two schools. For example, maybe the students in Tundra Vocational School have solider foundations compared with the students in Sherwood High, or else, the teachers in T are more willing to devote themselves to education because of a certain incentive scheme in T. Accordingly, the recommendation based on the unreasonable assumption is unpersuasive.

In sum, the argument suffers from some fatal flaws. To strengthen the argument, the author has to rule out other factors influencing the students’ academic performance and teacher morale. In addition, more information about the two schools are needed to support the recommendation.

[ 本帖最后由 komy_lee 于 2007-12-1 18:07 编辑 ]

lestouUID: 2260126

In this argument, the author makes a recommendation that Sherwood can use Day Glow light bulbs in winter to improve students’ academic performance and teachers’ morale. However, the rationale behind the recommendation seems to be indefensible.

The most important flaw which weakens toTO 去掉 argument is that the author hastily set a casual correlation between the lighting in classrooms and students academic performance and teacher morale. Admittedly, the latter happens coincide with the latter, but no evidence is given to support that the latter is the result of the former. It is highly possible that teacher act in without energy at school because they spend too much time on family, just/SUCH as doing housework, educating their own children; it is also possible that the work of teaching exerts too much pressure on them. on other hand, the students’ bad behavior in academic performance may be the result of the extreme pressure burdened on their shoulders. Without ruling out such possibly factors that affect the students’ academic performance and teacher morale, it is unfairly to draw out any firm conclusion.

The second flaw that undermines the argument is that the author fails to consider and rule out other factors accounting to the drop of participation, the decline of grades and the highest resignation. It is extremely possible that the poor show of students and teachers has little relation with the lack of daylight. On contrary, the bad weather, heavy traffic and some personal fairs[AFFAIRS] all can explain why participation drops. As mentioned earlier, there exist many possible explanations to the decline of grades except the lack of lighting. In addition, the author fails to give the exact number of the teachers who resign in December and January. So even if it is the highest compared /COMPARED TOthe other months, there is no evidence the number is large. Absence of such information, we cannot accept any conclusion drawn from the records.

Last but not least, the author commits a false analogy between Sherwood High and Tundra Vocational School. On one hand, no evidence is given to support the assumption that there is a casual correlation between the installing of Day Glow and the increase of student’s grade point. On another hand, even if the former has some good effect on the latter, there is no evidence given to support the assumption that the measure adopted by Tundra Vocational School can apply Sherwood High. It is highly possible that there exist many differences between the two schools. For example, maybe the students in Tundra Vocational School have solider foundations compared with the students in Sherwood High, or else, the teachers in T are more willing to devote themselves to education because of a certain incentive scheme in T. Accordingly, the recommendation based on the unreasonable assumption is unpersuasive.

In sum, the argument suffers from some fatal flaws. To strengthen the argument, the author has to rule out other factors influencing the students’ academic performance and teacher morale. In addition, more information about the two schools are needed to support the recommendation.

1这个是ARGU110，贴错了，这个是30号的作业。

2不过 还好我看过。思路明确，语感流畅(就是摸板的痕迹好重)，而且每段也写的挺充实。语法上的点小问题了,然后就是表达重复，可能你自己没感觉，你特喜欢no evidence这种表达方式（就我看到的就有4处了）。

3有点说下就是我认为比较严重的错误是CAUSAL ， FALSE ANALOGY， 而OTHER POSSIBILITY属于较次的错误了。也就是说2，3段要对调一下。


[ 本帖最后由 lestou 于 2007-12-1 11:36 编辑 ]