Issue41[desperado] 第三次作业 by Grace

grace040802UID: 2348819

TOPIC: ISSUE41 - "Such nonmainstream areas of inquiry as astrology, fortune-telling, and psychic and paranormal pursuits play a vital role in society by satisfying human needs that are not addressed by mainstream science."
WORDS: 294                   DATE: 2007-12-11 23:49:05

[Outline]:
1.表明自己的观点尽管非主流领域在一定程度上能满足人们需要,但是其不能起到重要作用,因为它不是科学的,不能推动人类进步.
2非主流存在的原因,消除生活压力,工作压力等,承认其存在
3陈述不能起重要作用的原因__一旦成为主流害处多多.
4总结


I agree with the speaker insofar as such nonmainstream areas of inquiry as astrology,fortune-telling ans psychic and paranormal pursuit play a certain but not vital role in society by statisfying human beings that are not addressed by mainstream science.Because they are nonscientific and limited by themslves.Yet,the mainstream science play an important role in meeting human being's needs.

Admittedly, such nonmainstream areas of inquiry have their own reasons to exist, since they can satisfy people's needs, such as relaxation, the lure of fantastic ideas.For example, the competition in society become more fierece than before.Most of people should work very hard for a good living condition.And the stress in life become heavier and heavier.So people turn to the fortune-telling for a short time to release this burdens.Even people who are defeated by the factual society,seek self-confidence from astrology.Just because of the inexorable true society,such nonmaistream have room to develope.In this point,they respond to mass's appetite.

However,the harm of them overweight to their benefits.If one is crzay about them,he or she mey be lagged behind by the modern society.Once addicted of them,one doesn't think about how to conquer the difficulties and makes little progress.Undoubtly,they gradually find they cannot compatible with the society.The more such feeling of loneliness and solitary is ,the worse the situation becomes.At last,they are dropped out by the contemporaneity.Maybe a talent is lost.After all,such nonmainstreams are nonscientific and they cannot change the setbacks fundamentally,but just heal teh hurted hearts urgently.For example,the astronomy science can tell us the climate changes and the movements of the various stars,which indicates human how to deal with this change.(所举的例子不好实在想不出来,求助各位!)

In a word, I concede that such nonmaistreams can heal the broken hearts in certain degree.However, it cannot play a vital role in the society,because of its nonscientific characters.

[ 本帖最后由 grace040802 于 2007-12-25 21:49 编辑 ]

绿松石UID: 2427549

I agree with the speaker insofar as such nonmainstream areas of inquiry as astrology,fortune-telling ans psychic and paranormal pursuit play a certain but not vital role in society by statisfying human beings that are not addressed by mainstream science.Because they are nonscientific and limited by themslves（这个表达觉得有点武断吧。。我觉得不要用be这么确定的语气比较好，比如they might。。毕竟有的非主流科学并不一定是不科学的，只不过现在科学没法解释而已）.Yet,the mainstream science play an important role in meeting human being's needs.（这个论点你后面论述了么？好像没见都是说非主流怎么怎么样啊）

Admittedly, such nonmainstream areas of inquiry have their own reasons to exist, since they can satisfy people's needs, such as relaxation, the lure of fantastic ideas.For example, the competition in society become more fierece than before.Most of people should work very hard for a good living condition.And the stress in life become heavier and heavier.So people turn to the fortune-telling for a short time to release this burdens.Even people who are defeated by the factual society,seek self-confidence from astrology.Just because of the inexorable true society,such nonmaistream have room to develope.In this point,they respond to mass's appetite.

However,the harm of them overweight to their benefits.If one is crzay about them,he or she mey be lagged behind by the modern society.Once addicted of them,one doesn't think about how to conquer the difficulties and makes little progress.Undoubtly,they gradually find they cannot compatible with the society.The more such feeling of loneliness and solitary is ,the worse the situation becomes.At last,they are dropped out by the contemporaneity.Maybe a talent is lost.After all,such nonmainstreams are nonscientific and they cannot change the setbacks fundamentally,but just heal teh hurted hearts urgently.For example,the astronomy science
（这是航天科学，是主流科学把？你这一段都将非主流，怎么扯到主流了那？astronogy才是占星术。。而且前一句话你说的是非主流科学不能改变自己的缺点，后面例子不符合啊） can tell us the climate changes and the movements of the various stars,which indicates human how to deal with this change.(所举的例子不好实在想不出来,求助各位!)想不出例子就google，我就这么来的

In a word, I concede that such nonmaistreams can heal the broken hearts in certain degree.However, it cannot play a vital role in the society,because of its nonscientific characters.

[ 本帖最后由 绿松石 于 2007-12-12 11:48 编辑 ]

nirvana_coolUID: 2347927

I agree with the speaker insofar as such （The expression “as such” has to refer to some status mentioned earlier. “The CEO was a former drill sergeant, and as such expected everyone to obey his orders instantly.” In this case “such” refers back to “former drill sergeant.” But often people only imply that which is referred to, as in “The CEO had a high opinion of himself and as such expected everyone to obey his orders instantly.” Here the “such” cannot logically refer back to “opinion.” Replace “as such” with “therefore.”）nonmainstream areas of inquiry as (?)astrology,fortune-telling ans psychic and paranormal pursuit play a certain but not vital role in society by statisfying human beings that are not addressed by mainstream science.Because they are nonscientific and limited by themslves.Yet,the mainstream science play(主谓一致) an important role in meeting human being's needs.

Admittedly, such nonmainstream areas of inquiry have their own reasons to exist, since they can satisfy people's needs, such as relaxation, the lure of fantastic ideas.For example, the competition in society become more fierece than before.Most of people should (have to表现力更强)work very hard for a good living condition.And the stress in life become heavier and heavier.So people turn to the fortune-telling for a short time to release this burdens.Even people who are defeated by the factual society(想表达现实社会用social reality),(删，注意逗号的使用，破坏句子的完整性了)seek self-confidence from astrology.Just because of the inexorable true society,such nonmaistream (sciences) have room to develope.In this point,they respond to mass's (?)appetite.(好像应该用复数)

However,the harm of them overweight（vt） to their benefits(单复数不对称阿).If one is crzay（crazy） about them,he or she mey be lagged behind by the modern society.(这里最好用个原因状语来引导)Once addicted of them,one doesn't think about how to conquer the difficulties and makes little progress（这里可以深入评价他们迷信命运早已注定，主观上放弃一切努力，不作任何尝试）.Undoubtly（绝对化的词少用，可用结果状语引导）,they gradually find they cannot compatible（adj 啊怎么没be动词，这样的错可不能犯） with the society.The more such feeling of loneliness and solitary（n and adj并列？） is ,the worse the situation becomes.At last,they are dropped out by the contemporaneity同时代, 同一时期，同时代［时期］性； 同时发生性.（这个词能这样用吗？）Maybe（It is possible that） a talent is lost.After all,such nonmainstreams（能这样用吗） are nonscientific and they cannot change the setbacks fundamentally,but just heal teh(the) hurted hearts urgently.For example,the astronomy天文学(已经代表一门学科) science (可删)can tell us the climate changes and the movements of the various stars,which indicates human how to deal with this change（根本不是句子，得补补语法了，呵呵）.(所举的例子不好实在想不出来,求助各位!)

In a word, I concede that such nonmaistreams can heal（治愈, 医治, 结束）（应该用cure，仅仅表示一种动作，而不保证结果）the broken hearts in certain degree.（to a certain degree）However, it（指代不一致） cannot play a vital role in the society,because of its nonscientific characters.

[ 本帖最后由 nirvana_cool 于 2007-12-19 08:40 编辑 ]

nirvana_coolUID: 2347927

内容不够翔实
有较多的语法问题比如句子结构、主谓一致，要杜绝此类错误
一些词的用法有误，一些词的用法不够贴切
论证没有说服力
希望楼主能参照所提出的意见及时修改自己的文章以期获得更大的进步

[ 本帖最后由 nirvana_cool 于 2007-12-19 09:12 编辑 ]