argument153[areo小组]第一次作业

jinbeili1987UID: 2298239

153The following is from an editorial in the Midvale Observer, a local newspaper.
"Ever since the 1950's, when television sets began to appear in the average home, the rate of crimes committed by teenagers in the country of Alta has steadily increased. This increase in teenage crime parallels the increase in violence shown on television. According to several national studies, even very young children who watch a great number of television shows featuring violent scenes display more violent behavior within their home environment than do children who do not watch violent shows. Furthermore, in a survey conducted by the Observer, over 90 percent of the respondents were parents who indicated that prime-time television—programs that are shown between 7 p.m. and 9 p.m.—should show less violence. Therefore, in order to lower the rate of teenage crime in Alta, television viewers should demand that television programmers reduce the amount of violence shown during prime time."

In this argument, the arguer concludes that in order to lower the rate of teenage crime in Alta, television viewers should demand that television programmers reduce the amount of violence shown during prime time. This conclusion seems to be very justified. However, through analysis, we may find this conclusion is drawn to the irrational.

First of all, the arguer mentioned that the increase in teenage crime parallels the increase in the number of television sets and in violence shown on television. Although teenage crime and the number of family who has television increased at the same time, but no one can say that the increase of the two facts has necessarily related. In fact, there are a lot of reasons can cause teenage crime. For example, the government has not pay much attention on education. The teenagers have not received much good education and they are very likely to go astray in their adolescence. The lives of the poor can not be protected is another reason caused teenage crime. The wages of the poor can not offer the teenagers’ lives, teenagers are likely to get the things which they want by steal. So, the increase in violent shows is not the only reason let to teenage crime.

Secondly, the arguer advocated that the young children who watch a great number of television shows featuring violent scenes display more violent behavior within their home environment than do children who do not watch violent shows. This fact is justified, but this matter can not be the favorable arguments to the conclusion. With the development of the TV industry, the television programmers give the teenagers more and more choices. Therefore, a small number of teenagers who like to watch violent television shows will not cause the rate of crime increased. The government and the school should pay much attention to this kind of teenagers.

Thirdly, the arguer mentioned a survey and the survey announced that over 90 percent of the respondents indicated that prime-time television should show less violence.  The arguer did not tell us the total number of the people who participated in the survey. If the total number is very small, 90% of people's views can not prove the arguer's conclusions. Through the arguer's description, we are not sure whether this survey is real and credible. If we assume that this survey is real and credible, we also can not achieve the arguer’s conclusions. In fact, there is fewer violence shown during prime time. The news, talk show and comedy usually show during the prime time. So, parents do not need to worry about the teenagers too much during the prime time.

To sum up, to reduce the number of teenage crime the society should pay much attention on it. Only reduce the amount of violence shown during prime time can not make the number reduce.

victkidUID: 2326283

In this argument, the arguer concludes that in order to lower the rate of teenage crime in Alta, television viewers should demand that television programmers reduce the amount of violence shown during prime time. This conclusion seems to be very justified. However, through analysis, we may find this conclusion is drawn to the irrational.（首段可以再丰富一些，简单分析题目的论据和漏洞）

First of all, the arguer mentioned that the increase in teenage crime parallels the increase in the number of television sets and in violence shown on television. Although teenage crime and the number of family who has television increased at the same time, but no one can say that（这个感觉用得不是很好） the increase of the two facts has necessarily related. In fact, there are a lot of reasons can cause teenage crime. For example, the government has not pay much attention on education. The teenagers have not received much good education and they are very likely to go astray in their adolescence. The lives of the poor can not be protected is another reason caused teenage crime. The wages of the poor can not offer the teenagers’ lives, teenagers are likely to get the things which they want by steal. So, the increase in violent shows is not the only reason let to teenage crime. （列举他因使用得太多了，可以变换一下论证手法。最后每段记得加总结的句子）

Secondly, the arguer advocated that the young children who watch a great number of television shows featuring violent scenes display more violent behavior within their home environment than do children who do not watch violent shows. This fact is justified, but this matter can not be the favorable arguments to the conclusion. With the development of the TV industry, the television programmers give the teenagers more and more choices. Therefore, a small number of teenagers who like to watch violent television shows will not cause the rate of crime increased. The government and the school should pay much attention to this kind of teenagers.（这段的论证显得很弱）

Thirdly, the arguer mentioned a survey and the survey announced that over 90 percent of the respondents indicated that prime-time television should show less violence.  The arguer did not tell us the total number of the people who participated in the survey. If the total number is very small, 90% of people's views can not prove the arguer's conclusions. Through the arguer's description, we are not sure whether this survey is real and credible. If we assume that this survey is real and credible, we also can not achieve the arguer’s conclusions. In fact, there is fewer violence shown during prime time. The news, talk show and comedy usually show during the prime time. So, parents do not need to worry about the teenagers too much during the prime time.（the arguer使用得太多了，可以变换一下用词）

To sum up, to reduce the number of teenage crime the society should pay much attention on it. Only reduce the amount of violence shown during prime time can not make the number reduce.（结尾显得很仓促，可以加上作者具体在哪些地方有漏洞，再列出解决办法）

houyanchunUID: 2432949

argument153[areo小组]第一次作业


153The following is from an editorial in the Midvale Observer, a local newspaper.
"Ever since the 1950's, when television sets began to appear in the average home, the rate of crimes committed by teenagers in the country of Alta has steadily increased. This increase in teenage crime parallels the increase in violence shown on television. According to several national studies, even very young children who watch a great number of television shows featuring violent scenes display more violent behavior within their home environment than do children who do not watch violent shows. Furthermore, in a survey conducted by the Observer, over 90 percent of the respondents were parents who indicated that prime-time television—programs that are shown between 7 p.m. and 9 p.m.—should show less violence. Therefore, in order to lower the rate of teenage crime in Alta, television viewers should demand that television programmers reduce the amount of violence shown during prime time."

In this argument, the arguer concludes that in order to lower the rate of teenage crime in Alta, television viewers should demand that television programmers reduce the amount of violence shown during prime time. This conclusion seems to be very justified. However, through analysis, we may find this conclusion is drawn to the irrational.

First of all, the arguer mentioned that the increase in teenage crime parallels the increase in the number of television sets and in violence shown on television. Although teenage crime and the number of family who has television increased at the same time, but no one can say that the increase of the two facts has necessarily related. In fact, there are a lot of reasons can cause teenage crime. For example, the government has not pay （paying） much attention on education. The teenagers have not received much good education and they are very likely to go astray in their adolescence. The lives of the poor can not be protected is another reason caused teenage crime. The wages of the poor can not offer the teenagers’ lives (the wages of the poor parents can not be offered to meet basis need of teenager’s live so that they), teenagers are likely to get the things which they want by steal (stealing). So, the increase in violent shows is not the only reason let to teenage crime.

Secondly, the arguer advocated that the young children who watch a great number of television shows featuring violent scenes display more violent behavior within their home environment than do children who do not watch violent shows. This fact is justified, but this matter can not be the favorable arguments to the conclusion. With the development of the TV industry, the television programmers give the teenagers more and more choices. Therefore, a small number of teenagers who like to watch violent television shows will not cause the rate of crime increased. The government and the school should pay much attention to this kind of teenagers.

Thirdly, the arguer mentioned a survey and the survey announced that over 90 percent of the respondents indicated that prime-time television should show less violence.  The arguer did not tell us the total number of the people who participated in the survey. If the total number is very small, 90% of people's views can not prove the arguer's conclusions. Through the arguer's description, we are not sure whether this survey is real and credible. If we assume that this survey is real and credible, we also can not achieve the arguer’s conclusions (conclusion). In fact, there is fewer (few) violence shown ((violent scenes showing on television)) during prime time. The news, talk show and comedy usually show during the prime time. So, parents do not need to worry about the teenagers too much during the prime time.

To sum up, to reduce the number of teenage crime the society should pay much attention on it. Only reduce the amount of violence shown during prime time can not make the number reduce.

很好 呵呵 思路清楚 攻击明确 加油 括号里是我的意见 呵呵 供参考呀