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[i习作temp] issue48 [Aero作文组第二次作业] by beetle1986 [复制链接]

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发表于 2007-12-20 23:02:13 |显示全部楼层
Issue48 by beetle1986

Though groups of people by which history especially the most significant events were made are not neglected, the research of famous individuals brings remarkable historical values and needs more care.

Admittedly, the most significant events and trends in history were made by the multitude. These people whose identities have long been forgotten composed the army which is the most important force of dynasty alternation. And most of advance of society, science, art are made by them who did not imprint their name in history. But, just like the human body, most actions are made by arm, and the commands which were responded by those actions are created by brain. These famous individuals act just like the brain, and the demos play a role of arm. We can see that research on brain is much more important than arm.

In history, some individuals held absolute power. Commonly, their action influenced all history, and maybe accelerated or slowed the step that society marched. And most of historical notes on which we study had recorded only few outstanding people and their stories. By these studies, we can find the details of significant events and concentrate the principle of societal advance which can be used to remind current potentates to void same disaster and to play better than predecessors. From the stories of Caesar we can aware the character and disadvantage of autocracy.

From the discovered events and trends, we can find most worthies usually born from
ordinary people. They are recorded after they made some splendiferous achievements. Why they succeed but others not? How they make it? Studies on these representative people will supply the keys which everybody wants to get. Shakespeare’s first job was walk-on, in the time slot of performance, he read a lot, and finally, he became the most famous playwright. Pasteur who invented pasteurization caution against us what a scientist should pay attention to is not people’s praise or taunt but people’s appreciation centuries later.

To sum up, the contribution of groups of people should not be ignored, but the historical values of these people are much less than those famous individuals. So the study of history places much emphasis on individuals is appropriate but not enough.


[ 本帖最后由 beetle1986 于 2007-12-20 23:04 编辑 ]

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发表于 2007-12-23 11:24:01 |显示全部楼层
Though groups of people by which history especially the most significant events were made are not neglected, the research of famous individuals brings remarkable historical values and needs more care.

Admittedly, the most significant events and trends in history were made by the multitude. These people whose identities have long been forgotten composed the army which is the most important force of dynasty alternation. And most of advance of society, science, art are made by them who did not imprint their name in history. But, just like the human body, most actions are made by arm, and the commands which were responded by those actions are created by brain. These famous individuals act just like the brain, and the demos play a role of arm. We can see that research on brain is much more important than arm.(前面的论证很好,可我觉得这句话说得有点绝对化)

In history, some individuals held absolute power. Commonly, their action influenced all history, and maybe accelerated or slowed the step that society marched. And most of historical notes on which we study had recorded only few outstanding people and their stories. By these studies, we can find the details of significant events and concentrate the principle of societal advance which can be used to remind current potentates to void same disaster and to play better than predecessors. From the stories of Caesar we can aware the character and disadvantage of autocracy.(应该稍微介绍介绍,一两句话即可)

From the discovered events and trends, we can find most worthies usually born from ordinary people. They are recorded after they made some splendiferous achievements. Why they succeed but others not? How they make it? Studies on these representative people will supply the keys which everybody wants to get. Shakespeare’s first job was walk-on, in the time slot of performance, he read a lot, and finally, he became the most famous playwright. Pasteur who invented pasteurization caution against us what a scientist should pay attention to is not people’s praise or taunt but people’s appreciation centuries later.(少个结论)

To sum up, the contribution of groups of people should not be ignored, but the historical values of these people are much less than those famous individuals. So the study of history places much emphasis on individuals is appropriate but not enough
总的来说,感觉作者词汇量相当丰富(十分羡慕),用词也十分准确。文风也很严谨,值得学习(赞一下),以后还要多帮帮我呀
do not wake me up

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发表于 2007-12-23 22:50:05 |显示全部楼层
Though groups of people by which (whom) the history especially the most significant events were made are (not) neglected, the research of famous individuals brings remarkable historical values and needs more care.

Admittedly, the most significant events and trends in history were made by the multitude. These people whose identities have long been forgotten composed the army which is the most important force of dynasty alternation. And most of advance of society, science, art are made by them who did not imprint their name in history. But, just like the human body, most actions are made by arm, and the commands which were responded by those actions are created by brain. These famous individuals act just like the brain, and the demos play a role of arm. We can see that research on brain is much more important than arm.

In history, some individuals held absolute power. Commonly, their actions influenced all history, and maybe accelerated or slowed the step that society marched. And most of historical notes on which we study had recorded only few outstanding people and their stories. By these studies, we can find the details of significant events and concentrate the principle of societal advance which can be used to remind current potentates to avoid the same disaster and to play better than predecessors. From the stories of Caesar we can aware the character and disadvantage of autocracy.

From the discovered events and trends, we can find most worthies usually born from ordinary people. They are recorded after they made some splendiferous achievements. Why they succeed but others not? How they make it? Studies on these representative people will supply the keys which everybody wants to get. Shakespeare’s first job was walk-on, in the time slot of performance, he read a lot, and finally, he became the most famous playwright. Pasteur who invented pasteurization caution against us what a scientist should pay attention to is not people’s praise or taunt but people’s appreciation centuries later. 这段的几个例子很好噢

To sum up, the contribution of groups of people should not be ignored, but the historical values of these people are much less than those famous individuals. So the study of history places much emphasis on individuals is appropriate but not enough.

整篇文章好像只是关注了题目中的”too much”,告诉大家famous few need more care。文章写的很好,只是觉得对这个题目来说写的有点偏,没有让步。
个人意见,也不是很懂

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RE: issue48 [Aero作文组第二次作业] by beetle1986 [修改]

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issue48 [Aero作文组第二次作业] by beetle1986
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-782775-1-1.html
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