Argument3\0806G-AW小组\第一次作业

EmeraldUID: 2238409

新手，写得一塌糊涂，敬请各位多多指教。


题目：ARGUMENT3 - The following appeared in a newspaper article about law firms in the city of Megalopolis.

"In Megalopolis, the number of law school graduates who went to work for large, corporate firms declined by 15 percent over the last three years, whereas an increasing number of graduates took jobs at small, general practice firms. Even though large firms usually offer much higher salaries, law school graduates are choosing to work for the smaller firms most likely because they experience greater job satisfaction at smaller firms. In a survey of first-year students at a leading law school, most agreed with the statement that earning a high salary was less important to them than job satisfaction. This finding suggests that the large, corporate firms of Megalopolis will need to offer graduates more benefits and incentives and reduce the number of hours they must work."
字数：466          用时：00:30:00          日期：12/31/2007 11:06:41 AM

At the first glance, the article seems quite persuasive. However, there are still several questionable points remains in the article. Those points will let the readers doubt the author’s opinion.

The article mentioned that number of students who went to work for large firms had declined 15 percents. The author supposed that people didn't go to large firms because people can't get enough job satisfaction in large companies. Without other factors, the only one factor is not very convincible.
Those large companies may didn't operate well in the past time, and didn't have enough money to employ the same amount of students as they did before. Or the competition between graduates who want to work in large companies is fiercer than before. And lots of students don't like the fierce competition, or they didn't win the competition. All of these could let the number of graduates who went to work for large firms declined.

The sample of the survey is also questionable. The author used a survey based on the thought of first-year students in only one leading law school. When people first came to their campus, they always don't have a clear thought of their majors. Freshmen are always curious and exciting, because they just came to a new environment; they need time to be calm. When people are quite excited, their decision and are made carelessly, instead of deeply thinking. Compared with graduates, those freshmen don't have a better understanding of the job market. Because those freshmen don't need to find a job immediately. However, graduates need to find jobs in a relatively short time. In order to find suitable jobs, graduates will collect lots of information about the job market. And they have a better understanding of the job market.  So, the survey based on the first-year students is not convincible.

Another questionable point is that the survey only takes one leading school as a sample. Graduates from leading schools are always having more job opportunities than those who graduate from normal law schools. Therefore, those graduates who came from leading schools could choose the best one among several job opportunities. They will quite likely to choose the job which could bring the largest job satisfaction to them. Graduates from normal law schools may not have many job opportunities to choose, and they may have to accept a job, even they don't like it. Therefore, the thought that earning a high salary is less important than job satisfaction can't reflect the real thoughts of other schools.

As a conclusion, the author didn't mentioned other factors with could cause the decline of graduates who went to work in large firms. The survey mentioned in the article is not based on  representive samples.  All of those let readers to doubt the author's point of view.

mztnlUID: 2441079

At the first glance, the article seems quite persuasive. However, there are still several questionable points remains in the article. Those points will let the readers doubt the author’s opinion.（只是从语感上觉得这句话有点儿chinglish ^ ^）

The article mentioned that number of students who went to work for large firms had declined 15 percents. The author supposed that people didn't go to large firms because people can't get enough job satisfaction in large companies. Without other factors, the only one factor is not very convincible.Those large companies may didn't operate well in the past time, and didn't have enough money to employ the same amount of students as they did before.Or the competition between graduates who want to work in large companies is fiercer than before. And lots of students don't like the fierce competition, or they didn't win the competition. All of these could let the number of graduates who went to work for large firms declined.(我感觉这一段是在相信作者观点的基础上，对作者得出结论的原因进行种种猜测，但我觉得我们要做的正是要以“逻辑严密”这一要求来审视作者的观点并指出其论述的不足，而不是从作者的观点出发。)

The sample of the survey is also questionable. The author used a survey based on the thought of first-year students in only one leading law school. When people first came to their campus, they always don't have a clear thought of their majors. Freshmen are always curious and exciting, because they just came to a new environment; they need time to be calm. When people are quite excited, their decision and are made carelessly, instead of deeply thinking. Compared with graduates, those freshmen don't have a better understanding of the job market. Because those freshmen don't need to find a job immediately. However, graduates need to find jobs in a relatively short time. In order to find suitable jobs, graduates will collect lots of information about the job market. And they have a better understanding of the job market.  So, the survey based on the first-year students is not convincible.

Another questionable point is that the survey only takes one leading school as a sample. Graduates from leading schools are always having more job opportunities than those who graduate from normal law schools. Therefore, those graduates who came from leading schools could choose the best one among several job opportunities. They will quite likely to choose the job which could bring the largest job satisfaction to them. Graduates from normal law schools may not have many job opportunities to choose, and they may have to accept a job, even they don't like it. Therefore, the thought that earning a high salary is less important than job satisfaction can't reflect the real thoughts of other schools.（这两段分析得挺好的，只是感觉好像都是找的很小的点，分析得有点过于详细。其实，还可以揪出其他的逻辑点反驳一下，在有限的字数里充分展现自己的逻辑分析力^ ^argu好像是侧重考这个吧？）

As a conclusion, the author didn't mentioned other factors (except what?我觉得既然是作为结论段，那就应该把原文提到的和你认为还应该考虑的因素都说出来，会更加明晰)with could cause the decline of graduates who went to work in large firms. The survey mentioned in the article is not based on  representive samples.  All of those let readers to doubt the author's point of view.
另外，发现文中“questionable point”“ mentioned”使用得特别频繁，可以尝试语言的多样性^ ^

[ 本帖最后由 mztnl 于 2008-1-4 20:34 编辑 ]