Argument8 AERO 小组作业

xuj401UID: 2434494

ARGUMENT8 The following appeared in a memorandum issued by the strategic planning department at Omni Inc.
"Mesa Foods, a manufacturer of snack foods that currently markets its products within a relatively small region of the country, has strong growth potential. Mesa enjoyed a 20 percent increase in profits last year, and its best-selling product, Diabolique Salsa, has had increased sales over each of the past three years. Since Omni Inc. is interested in reaching 14-to-25 year olds, the age group that consumes the most snack food, we should buy Mesa Foods, and concentrate in particular on marketing Diabolique Salsa throughout the country."


  In the analyse,the arguer advocate that in order to increse the sales of Omni Inc,buying Mesa Foods is a good choice.To strenthen the conclusion,the agruer point out that Mesa Food has strong potential by presenting the data of the sales of Mesa Foods.Furthermore,the arguer reasons that the saling object of Omni Inc is the 14-to-25 year olds,who like the snack food.Close scrutiny of each of these facts,however,reveals that none of them lend  credible suport to the recommendation.

  The major problem with this argument is that 14-to-25 year olds are interested in Omni Inc,especially it's snack food,therfore the arguer reach the result that the Omni Inc should buy Mesa Foods.Although such age group like snack,also the Mesa Foods are selling  well,we could not know the relationship between them.The Mesa Foods is just one kind of snack foods,and who can ensure that the 14-to-25 will like the Mesa Foods.

  Another problem that weaken the logic of this argument is that the arguer have mentioned that the the products of Mesa Foods is just selling in a small region of the country.That is to say,even if the Omni Inc buy the foods of Mesa Foods,it could not market Diabolique Salsa throughout the country ,by the reason that maybe such kind of food is admitted by local peaple ,not by the whole country peaple.

  Before I come to my conclusion,it is neccery to point out another flaw that undermine the aregument.The arguer falsed to provide the concrete data of the incresing  profit of Mesa Foods and the sales of Diabolique Salsa.We didn't know whether the increse of the sales is large.Maybe the arguer compare it with the other manufacturer which is lost money in buisness.

  To sum up,the conclusion lacks crediblity because the evidence cited in analyse do not lend strong suport to the claim.To make the arguement more convincing ,the arguer would have to frovide more specific evidence concerning that the 14-to-25 year olds like  the snack of Mesa Foods;the profits does really icresed fast and the data of  sales of Diabolique Salsa;the Mesa Foods meets the taste of majoriy peaple.

实在不好意思，我的WORD 文档没有自动检查错误的功能，可能有很低级的错误，请指正

beetle1986UID: 2431214

In the analyse, the arguer advocate(s) that in order to increse (increase) the sales of Omni Inc, buying Mesa Foods is a good choice. To strenthen (strengthen) the conclusion, the agruer (arguer) point out that Mesa Food has strong potential by presenting the data of the sales of Mesa Foods. Furthermore, the arguer reasons that the saling object (main consumers) of Omni Inc is the 14-to-25 year olds, who like the snack food. Close scrutiny of each of these facts, however, reveals that none of them lend credible suport (support) to the recommendation.

  The major problem with this argument is that 14-to-25 year olds are interested in Omni Inc, especially it's snack food, therfore (therefore) the arguer reach（reaches） the result that the Omni Inc should buy Mesa Foods. Although such age group like snack, also the Mesa Foods are selling well, we could not know the relationship between them. The Mesa Foods is just one kind of snack foods, and who can ensure that the 14-to-25 will like the Mesa Foods.这一段是完全的中式英语，有很多范文讲这个论点的，你可以看一下。

  Another problem that weaken the logic of this argument is that the arguer have mentioned that the the(删去) products of Mesa Foods is just selling(sold) in a small region of the country. That is to say, even if the Omni Inc buy the foods of Mesa Foods, it could not market Diabolique Salsa throughout the country ,by the reason that maybe such kind of food is admitted by local peaple (people),not by the whole country peaple.(people)

  Before I come to my conclusion, it is neccery (necessary) to point out another flaw that undermine the aregument.(argument) The arguer falsed (fails) to provide the concrete data of the incresing (increasing) profit of Mesa Foods and the sales of Diabolique Salsa. We didn't know whether the increse (increase) of the sales is large. Maybe the arguer compare (compares) it with the other manufacturer which is lost money in buisness.(business)最后一句完全没必要，mesa的收益增长肯定是和自己相比的。你可以说他的基数很小，即使增长20%也还是很少。

  To sum up, the conclusion lacks crediblity (credibility) because the evidence cited in analyse do not lend strong suport (support) to the claim. To make the arguement (argument) more convincing ,the arguer would have to frovide (provide) more specific evidence concerning that the 14-to-25 year olds like  the snack of Mesa Foods; the profits does really icresed (increased) fast and the data of  sales of Diabolique Salsa; the Mesa Foods meets the taste of majoriy peaple.(most people)
论述段太短了，且短乏逻辑性，建议先看范文。

wizardzUID: 2268761

  In the analyse, the arguer advocate that in order to increase the sales of Omni Inc, buying Mesa Foods is a good choice. To strengthen the conclusion, the arguer point out that Mesa Food has strong potential by presenting the data of the sales of Mesa Foods. Furthermore, the arguer reasons that the saling sales object of Omni Inc is the 14-to-25 year olds, who like the snack food. Close scrutiny of each of these facts, however, reveals that none of them lend credible support to the recommendation.

  The major problem说是problem,后面的句子表述要像problem with this argument is that 14-to-25 year olds are interested in Omni Inc, especially it's snack food, therefore the arguer reach the result that the Omni Inc should buy Mesa Foods. Although such age group like snack, also the Mesa Foods are selling well, we could not know the relationship 什么和什么的relationship?? between them. The Mesa Foods is just one kind of snack foods, and who can ensure that the 14-to-25 will like the Mesa Foods.

  Another problem that weakens the logic of this argument is that the arguer has mentioned that the product of Mesa Foods is just selling in a small region of the country. That is to say, even if the Omni Inc buy the foods of Mesa Foods, it could not market Diabolique Salsa throughout the country ,by the reason that maybe such kind of food is admitted by local people ,not by the whole country people.

  Before I come to my conclusion, it is necessary to point out another flaw that undermine the argument. The arguer falsed to provide the concrete data of the incresing  profit of Mesa Foods and the sales of Diabolique Salsa.We didn't know whether the increase of the sales is large. Maybe the arguer compare it with the other manufacturer which is lost money in business. 这个批判有点牵强，可以怀疑report中的漏洞，但最好不要批判所述事实的真实性

To sum up, the conclusion lacks credibility because the evidence cited in analyse do not lend strong support to the claim. To make the argument more convincing ,the arguer would have to provide more specific evidence concerning that the 14-to-25 year olds like  the snack of Mesa Foods; the profits does really increase fast and the data of  sales of Diabolique Salsa; the Mesa Foods meets the taste of majority people.

最后结论用分号的方法不错，可以避免去想多个连词连接句子。