Issue185[Aero_sixth]

houyanchunUID: 2432949

ISSUE185 - "Scandals-whether in politics, academia, or other areas-can be useful. They focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could."

In my opinion, scandals could bring benefit to our society usually whether in politics or other areas. However, it is very vital for populace to realize how to deal with the scandals and how to absorb lessons from scandals, rather than only to condemn scandals superficially.

As we known, scandals whatever it happened in politics, academia, or other areas could induce harm to certain people. For example, the sexual scandals about a famous actor or film star. Many fanatics of his or her would be shocked for the great and perfect figure of them in fan's mind are broken, even some of fanatics are crazy leading to suicide. That is to say, scandals produce surprised effect to those fanatics themselves. Furthermore, scandals could result in considerable amount waste of manpower and time, even turbulence of society. When it comes to education field, the cheated action, happened in a province, in a national entrance examination to university in China several years ago, had leaded to the whole result of the region being abolished. So that most of innocent students in the province must take the examination again next year. In addition, the influence of scandal which take place in political or economic field is worse. It could disturb the normal regulation of living and involve the whole society into instability. There is an official received bribe from a exporter in charge of exempting from custom tax to his products. The official have snatch a large amount benefit from the exporter, however, the fairly competition of market are destroyed and other exporters or competitors would like to adapt similar tactics to win profit. For that matter, the economic of the nation would be in danger. What is more, the confidence of populace to official and government are crucial breached, and the authority is oppugned.  

However, it is necessary for us to realize the positive influence brought by scandals. The reasons of scandal happened deserved to consider carefully. From this point, the scandals are reminders to motivate the conscious of populace to recognize the problems existed in deeply aspects of society rather than the superficial accident. The sexual scandal of a famous film star makes us to realize the ugly aspects of humanity, and validate that every one of us is flawless, needing to be perfected. The educational scandals reveal that crucial moral and academic problems concealed in educational system so that it is very necessary to exert effective reformation to guarantee the quality of students. The students, future builders of a nation, should be cultivated as overall development both in science and moral, and are competent to the responsibility. From this view, the scandals just uncover those problems which hardly are discovered by media or other supervised departments. Furthermore, the lessons attained from the political and economic scandals are worth analyzing by government officials and economic rulers. The reasons of the scandal happened are evidently--there are holes in actual regulation and rules such as the supervised mechanism is poor or the punishments are not sufficient enforcement to those corruptionist and bribees. And the level of moral and responsibility for officials need to be improved as soon as possible. According to above discussion, if the proper modified approaches are adopted, the relative moral level of ordinary people, academic atmospheres and responsibility of officials could be enhanced step by step, and the society would be more adaptive to live for populace. It is no doubt every one of us will enjoy the good living environment.

To sum up, scandals could point out practical problems hided in essence of a certain field indeed and remind relative department to focus on them. Consequently, if the relative mends are chosen to improve those shortcomings, the whole living and moral level of a nation would be prompted.

lovemxfUID: 2335206

ISSUE185 - "Scandals-whether in politics, academia, or other areas-can be useful. They focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could."

In my opinion, scandals could bring benefit to our society usually whether in politics or other areas. (In my opinion, scandals could bringbenefitto our society no mater in politics or other areas.这里不要照抄原句,原句是单独的一句话而你是一句话的一部分,所以就会出现错误)However, it is very vital for populace to realize how to deal with the scandals and how to absorb(learn) lessons from scandals, rather than only to condemn scandals superficially.

As we known, scandals whatever it happened in politics, academia, or other areas could induce harm to certain people. (第一句好像和你的中心相反) For example, the sexual scandals about a famous actor or film star. Many fanatics of his or her would be shocked for the great and perfect figure of them in fan's mind are broken, even some of fanatics are crazy leading to suicide. (这句话的语法错误很多Many fanatics of his or her would be shocked for destroying the great and perfect image in fan's heart, even some of fanatics are led to crazily suicide.)That is to say, scandals produce surprised(surprising) effect to those fanatics themselves. Furthermore, scandals could result in considerable amount waste of manpower (human resources) and time, even turbulence of society. When it comes to education field, the cheated (cheating) action, happened in a province (provincal), in a national (or a national )entrance examination to university in China several years ago, had leaded to the whole result of the region being abolished(应该是全部考生的成绩被取消,whole result 有点歧义). So that most of innocent students in the province must take the examination again next year. In addition, the influence of scandal(s) which take place in political or economic field is worse. It could disturb the normal regulation (order) of living and involve the whole society into instability. There is an official received bribe from a(n) exporter in charge of exempting from(evading tax逃税) custom tax to his products. The official have snatch a large amount benefit from the exporter, however, the fairly competition of market are destroyed and other exporters or competitors would like to adapt (adopt)similar tactics to win profit. For that matter, the economic of the nation would be in danger. What is more, the confidence of populace(common people) to official and government are crucial(ly) breached, and the authority is oppugned.  论证的很充分,但是顺序好像倒了最好按你开头的顺序写.
However, it is necessary for us to realize the positive influence brought by scandals. The reasons of scandal(s) happened deserved to consider carefully. From this point, the scandals are reminders to motivate the conscious of populace(换个词吧) to recognize the problems existed in deeply aspects of society rather than the superficial accident. The sexual scandal of a famous film star makes us to realize the ugly aspects of humanity, and validate that every one of us is (not) flawless, needing to be perfected. The educational scandals reveal that crucial moral and academic problems concealed in educational system so that it is very necessary to exert effective reformation to guarantee the quality of students. The students, future builders of a nation, should be cultivated as overall development both in science and moral, and are(去掉are) competent to the responsibility. From this view, the scandals just uncover those problems which hardly are discovered by media or other supervised departments. Furthermore, the lessons attained from the political and economic scandals are worth analyzing by government officials and economic rulers. The reasons of the scandal(s) happened are evidently--there are holes in actual regulation and rules such as the supervised mechanism is poor or the punishments are not sufficient enforcement to those corruptionist(s) and bribees(bribes). And the level of moral and responsibility for officials need to be improved as soon as possible. According to above discussion, if the proper modified approaches are adopted, the relative moral level of ordinary people, academic atmospheres and responsibility of officials could be enhanced step by step, and the society would be more adaptive to live for populace(换个词吧). It is no doubt every one of us will enjoy the good living environment.

To sum up, scandals could point out practical problems hided in essence of a certain field indeed and remind relative department to focus on them. Consequently, if the relative mends are chosen to improve those shortcomings, the whole living and moral level of a nation would be prompted(promoted).
不错是一篇很好的文章,构思很巧妙,就是和你的开头有点相反, 另外,语法和用词在注意一下.就会更好,分数会更高.我觉得你的文章五分以上没问题.

liuyingbnuUID: 2321970

In my opinion, scandals could bring benefit to our society usually whether in politics or other areas. However, it is very vital for populace to realize how to deal with the scandals and how to absorb () lessons from scandals, rather than only to condemn scandals superficially.

As we known, scandals whatever it happened in politics, academia, or other areas could induce harm to certain people. For example, the sexual scandals about a famous actor or film star. Many fanatics of his or her would be shocked for the great and perfect figure of them in fan's mind are broken, even some of fanatics are crazy leading to suicide（I am not clear here）. That is to say, scandals produce surprised(surprising) effect to those fanatics themselves. Furthermore, scandals could result in considerable amount waste of manpower and time, even turbulence of society. When it comes to education field, the cheated action, happened (happen没有被动语态) in a province, in a national entrance examination to university in China several years ago, had leaded to the whole result(?) of the region being abolished. So that most of innocent students in the province must take the examination again next year.（whether it is a scandal, in my opinion, it deserve your further consideration.） In addition, the influence of scandal which take place in political or economic field is worse. It could disturb the normal regulation of living and involve the whole society into instability. There is an official received bribe from a exporter in charge of exempting from custom tax to his products. The official have snatch a large amount benefit from the exporter, however, the fairly competition of market are destroyed and other exporters or competitors would like to adapt similar tactics to win profit. For that matter, the economic of the nation would be in danger. What is more, the confidence of populace to official and government are crucial breached, and the authority is oppugned.  

However, it is necessary for us to realize the positive influence brought by scandals. The reasons of scandal happened deserved to consider carefully. From this point, the scandals are reminders to motivate the conscious of populace to recognize the problems existed in deeply aspects of society rather than the superficial accident. The sexual scandal of a famous film star makes us to realize the ugly aspects of humanity, and validate that every one of us is flawless, needing to be perfected. The educational scandals reveal that crucial moral and academic problems concealed in educational system so that it is very necessary to exert effective reformation to guarantee the quality of students. The students, future builders of a nation, should be cultivated as overall development both in science and moral, and are competent to the responsibility. From this view, the scandals just uncover those problems which hardly are discovered by media or other supervised departments. Furthermore, the lessons attained from the political and economic scandals are worth analyzing by government officials and economic rulers. The reasons of the scandal happened are evidently--there are holes in actual regulation and rules such as the supervised mechanism is poor or the punishments are not sufficient enforcement to those corruptionist and bribees. And the level of moral and responsibility for officials need to be improved as soon as possible. According to above discussion, if the proper modified approaches are adopted, the relative moral level of ordinary people, academic atmospheres and responsibility of officials could be enhanced step by step, and the society would be more adaptive to live for populace. It is no doubt every one of us will enjoy the good living environment.(用上一段的例子来进行说明，很好！)

To sum up, scandals could point out practical problems hided in essence of a certain field indeed and remind relative department to focus on them. Consequently, if the relative mends are chosen to improve those shortcomings, the whole living and moral level of a nation would be prompted(promoted).
文章结构清楚、词汇丰富，安排合理，值得学习。
有两个问题，是不是较少关注They focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could. 中间段落太长了，可以把它作为意群段，但是自然段可以稍微多一些。