[Spring小组第十二次作业]issue130

machelleUID: 2348066

字数：662
I fundamentally agree with the proposition that the degree of socialization of children kind of determines the destiny of society and even now people are still searching for a better way to cultivate children who are brought up to build up a better society. Nevertheless I would caution that extending the proposition too far might risk undermining those objectives.

The author claims that how children socialized determines the destiny of society. It is true that socialization has become important part of human beings and collaboration which is one of the attributes of socialization is one of the skills which modern people concern about. As we all known, human beings are social creators, which mean that communications with peers is necessary for us surviving and learning the skill during childhood becomes one of the preparations we have accomplished before we grow up. That’s why our parents send us to school where we have opportunities to learn to contact with others and communicate with peers and where we learn to tell the differences between rights and wrongs. Lacking this part of training experience, it will become an obstacle that keeps you away from a successful man or woman.

It is true that the destiny of society depend on the next generation that is children nowadays. However, socialization is not the only factor that determines person affecting the destiny of society. The way cultivating a good person contributing to society are various including family influences, religious effect and his/her own conviction and wills. The greatest scientist Edition Thomas Alva who invents thousands of inventors during his lifetime ,making a great contribution to the whole world , is considered as a person who stand alone all the time .However, his believes in sciences leads him to a successful man to the society even though he was not interested in the social work at all. It is the way thinking alone and the personality of curious of everything new that makes him a brilliant scientist. Also religious believes plays an important role in cultivating a child and ultimately affects the destiny of the society. Taking Mahatama Gandhi as an example , he was brought up in genteel society , accepting the high quality of education and studying about law at college ,nevertheless , he does not follow the traditional idea and customs .Instead ,he put forth the non violence idea that affected the whole Indian society and leaded the whole country to stand up and fight for their freedom in a new way which was the innovator that time and not accepted by traditional society .What he had done could not explained by the socialization he received whereas might be explained by the influence of his religious believes .

The author also claims that we have not yet leant how to raise children who help to bring about a better society. However, in my observation, even though we are still on the way exploring a better way to bring up children who will contribute a better society, we have achieved a lot these years. If we define a better society as one characterized by greater tolerance of differing viewpoints and people whose believes, backgrounds and cultures are different cooperate and respect with each other, then the recent years accomplishments including the global economic institution and global environment organization do prove the progress this generation has made. And the freedom and democracy modern people advocate also prove the civilization of society. What we have just mentioned is the very evidence of the success of raising children, even if the society is not a perfect one , we are progressing .

In conclusion, the degree of socialization of children is not the only factor that determines the destiny of society, religious believes, family influences and wills also play an importance role on it. Even though our way of raising children is not a perfect one , the achievement we have made confirm our way of bring up children .

luckimonkeyUID: 2408088

写得很好，向你学习。

yshxaUID: 2303585

I fundamentally agree with the proposition that the degree of socialization of children (kind of) determines the destiny of society and even now people are still searching for a better way to cultivate children who are brought up to build up a better society.这句话太长了，看了犯晕:( Nevertheless I would caution that extending the proposition too far might risk undermining搭配有点问题 those objectives.

The author claims that how children socialized determines the destiny of society. It is true that socialization has become important part of human beings and collaboration which is one of the attributes of socialization is one of the skills which modern people concern about. As we all known, human beings are social creators, which mean that communications with peers is necessary for our surviving and learning the skill during childhood becomes one of the preparations we have accomplished before we grow up. That’s why our parents send us to school where we have opportunities to learn to contact with others and communicate with peers and where we learn to tell the differences between rights and wrongs. Lacking this part of training experience, it will become an obstacle that keeps you away from a successful man or woman.

It is true that the destiny of society depend on the next generation that is children nowadays. However, socialization is not the only factor that determines person affecting the destiny of society. The way cultivating a good person contributing to:confused: society are various， including family influences, religious effect and his/her own faith and wills. The greatest scientist Edition Thomas Alva who invents thousands of inventors during his lifetime ,making a great contribution to the whole world , is considered as a person who stand alone all the time .However, his believes in sciences leads him to a successful man to the society even though he was not interested in the social work at all. It is the way thinking alone and the personality of curious of everything new that makes him a brilliant scientist. Also religious believes plays an important role in cultivating a child and ultimately affects the destiny of the society. Taking Mahatama Gandhi as an example , he was brought up in genteel society , accepting the high quality of education and studying about law at college ,nevertheless , he does not follow the traditional idea and customs .Instead ,he put forth the non violence idea that affected the whole Indian society and leaded the whole country to stand up and fight for their freedom in a new way which was the innovator that time and not accepted by traditional society .What he had done could not explained by the socialization he received whereas might be explained by the influence of his religious believes .

The author also claims that we have not yet leant how to raise children who help to bring about a better society. However, in my observation, even though we are still on the way exploring a better way to bring up children who will contribute a better society, we have achieved a lot these years. If we define a better society as one characterized by greater tolerance of differing viewpoints and people whose believes, backgrounds and cultures are different cooperate and respect with each other, then the recent years accomplishments including the global economic institution and global environment organization do prove the progress this generation has made.这句话也太长了，看了三遍才看懂。。。And the freedom and democracy modern people advocate also prove the civilization of society. What we have just mentioned is the very evidence of the success of raising children, even if the society is not a perfect one , we are progressing .

In conclusion, the degree of socialization of children is not the only factor that determines the destiny of society, religious believes, family influences and wills also play an importance role on it. Even though our way of raising children is not a perfect one , the achievement we have made confirm our way of bring up children .

总的来说，我觉得你写的不错，论证的思路比较好，从socialization的定义和它的不足来入手。我始终写不好这篇issue，因为把握不好socialize的意思，看了你的文章很受启发，多谢！不过你的文章的后半段，感觉写得有点象argument了。。。
还有个问题就是，你的文章里长句太多了，太长了，从句一个接一个，看的我直晕啊！可能是我的水平不够吧:( 还是建议你不要总是写这么长的句子，毕竟言多必失，很难保证不出错，没有歧义的。而且长短句夹杂，读起来也会有韵律感啊。
有空帮我看看作文吧，多谢哦，呵呵！