[Spring小组第十二次作业]argument101

machelleUID: 2348066

字数;542
This memo recommends that by fortifying wheat-Ocereal with soy protein can increase company profits because this new kind of product will increase sales by appealing to additional consumers who are concerned about their health. Nevertheless, this recommendation suffers from several doubts which undermine what it stands.

Firstly, the author claims that a study shows that having soybean at five times per week can significantly lower cholesterol levels. However, the author does not provide statistics to prove the study. Even if soybean does help lower cholesterol, there is no evidence the amount of soy protein added into the Wheat-Ocereal has equivalent effection.

Secondly, Even if the product does have significant help for healthy, we are not sure that people concern with their healthy pay more attention to the level of cholesterol than other aspects. It is entirely possible that people who have hyperglycemia would concern about the amount of sugar contained in the product rather than soybean. Some lady caring about their figures would pay attention to the fat contained in the product. Without specifying what kind of people would be appealed by the Wheat-Ocereal with soy protein , we cannot sure how many people would be drawn to buy the product.

Even assuming that all the customer concern about health would like to buy the Wheat-Ocereal, the author does not provide enough information to tell us that what rate these people take among the total customers. What if these people take a small rate, then the suggestion would do nothing to improve the sale of the product, let alone the profit of the company.

What’s more, the increasing of sale does not equal to the increasing of profit. Cost and sale both contribute to the profit. In order to draw some customer attention, we should add soy protein to the product, which means a kind of increasing the cost. Meanwhile, no new product would introduce itself, advertising do a great help during this section which also means another increase of cost. Without striking a balance between the sale and the cost , the author cannot convince us that the suggestion promoting the new product with soy protein can improve the company profits.

Finally, the profit of a specific product cannot equal to the profit of a whole company. Common sense tells us that a company might own several products which help support the whole company. The author does not provide us enough information so that we don’t know how many products this company produces and whether Wheat-Ocereal is the main product of the company or not. Perhaps Wheat-Ocereal is just a small product in this company , then increasing the profit of Wheat-Ocereal would not contribute much to the profit of whole company.
In conclusion, the suggestion is dubious at best. Before I can accept its conclusion, the author should provide concrete data to prove the reliability of the study. To make it sense, the author also should provide evidence that what the rate of customer concerning about soy protein takes comparing to other aspect and among the total customer. In order to strengthen the suggestion, the author should also point out that this product is the main one of the company and the cost of promoting it does not cost much.

luckimonkeyUID: 2408088

Firstly, the author claims that a study shows that having soybean at five times per week can significantly lower cholesterol levels. However, the author does not provide statistics to prove the study. Even if soybean does help lower cholesterol, there is no evidence the amount of soy protein added into the Wheat-Ocereal has equivalent effection.
这一个攻击点，对这个STUDY进行的过程以及对研究对象的选择都可以进行怀疑。
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he cost of promoting it does not cost much（这样说感觉有点啰嗦用is relatively low会不会好一些）.
很好的ARGUMENT，逻辑错误找得很全，第二个攻击点非常好， 向你学习。

julia_tian.m007UID: 2450531

In conclusion, the suggestion is dubious at best. Before I can accept its conclusion, the author should provide concrete data to prove the reliability of the study. To make it sense, the author also should provide evidence that what the rate of customer concerning about soy protein takes comparing to other aspect and among the total customer. In order to strengthen the suggestion, the author should also point out that this product is the main one of the company and the cost of promoting it does not cost much.
    这篇文章在语言上没什么大毛病,建议作者写完后在WORD里检查下拼写.
逻辑错误也找的比较全面,第一个逻辑错误的议论部分可以再展开写.
第二个的攻击点的原因分析上考虑较周到,这点要向你学习.

julia_tian.m007UID: 2450531

In conclusion, the suggestion is dubious at best. Before I can accept its conclusion, the author should provide concrete data to prove the reliability of the study. To make it sense, the author also should provide evidence that what the rate of customer concerning about soy protein takes comparing to other aspect and among the total customer. In order to strengthen the suggestion, the author should also point out that this product is the main one of the company and the cost of promoting it does not cost much.
    这篇文章在语言上没什么大毛病,建议作者写完后在WORD里检查下拼写.
逻辑错误也找的比较全面,第一个逻辑错误的议论部分可以再展开写.
第二个的攻击点的原因分析上考虑较周到,这点要向你学习.