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[a习作temp] ARGUMENT140 【Aero小组】第9次作业 by Wizardz [复制链接]

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发表于 2008-1-28 20:08:32 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
This report recommends that professor Thomas get $10,000 salary raise and a promotion to Department Chairperson. To support this recommendation, the report cites her popularity among students and the research grants she brought  to demonstrate his teaching and research abilities. The reports also expresses the possibility of her moving to another college. All these facts told, however, are not convincing enough to support the promotion of this professor.
   First, the fact that professor Thomas have one of the largest classes does not necessarily prove her teaching ability. Only considering the number of students in her class cannot conclude that she is popular as the report can not rule out the possiblity that she might teach a general class that most of the students should take or the possibility that the time schedule of her class is favored by students. Further, we have little information about the students feedback to decide her teaching effectiveness to judge her teaching ability.
    Similarly, the report cites the grant Professor Thomas brought to prove the research ability. But it is not reliable. Although the grant has exceeded her salary in last two years, the report fails to consider the possibiliity that  research fundings are generally higher than the salary of faculties. The report has not given the past research activities which is the key to decide the research ability. It is possible that Prof. Thomas is beginning a research project and the final results are not yet clear. With merely the grant she received, we can hardly make judgements on her research ability.
    Even if Prof. Thomas is outstanding abilities, we can not decide if she suits the position of Department Chairperson without other professors information. The report can not rule out the possibility that other professors are  equally excellent or more suitable to be in the management position.
   The fear for Professor Thomas' leave is also not necessary as she might decide the working placing on many other factors, such as family, the weather of certian places.
   In sum, the support for the recommendation in the report is not convincing enough. To better support the recommendation, the report should provide more information to decide the ability of this professor; moreover, the promotion to a department chair need more consideraitons on other candidates.
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发表于 2008-1-29 14:02:04 |只看该作者
This report recommends that professor Thomas (should) get $10,000 salary raise and a promotion to Department Chairperson. To support this recommendation, the report cites her popularity among students and the research grants she brought to demonstrate his teaching and research abilities. The reports(report) also expresses the possibility of her moving to another college. All these facts told, however, are not convincing enough to support the promotion of this professor.
   First, the fact that professor(Professor) Thomas have one of the largest classes does not necessarily prove her teaching ability. Only considering the number of students in her class cannot conclude that she is popular as the report can not rule out the possiblity(possibility) that she might teach a general class that most of the students should take or the possibility that the time schedule of her class is favored by students. Further, we have little information about the students(students’) feedback to decide her teaching effectiveness to judge her teaching ability.
    Similarly, the report cites the grant Professor Thomas brought to prove the research ability. But it is not reliable. Although the grant has exceeded her salary in last two years, the report fails to consider the possibiliity(possibility) that  research fundings(funds) are generally higher than the salary of faculties. The report has not given the past research activities which is the key to decide the research ability. It is possible that Prof. Thomas is beginning a research project and the final results are not yet clear. With merely the grant she received, we can hardly make judgements(judgment) on her research ability.
    Even if Prof. Thomas is outstanding abilities, we can not decide if she suits the position of Department Chairperson without other professors(professors’) information. The report can not rule out the possibility that other professors are equally excellent or more suitable to be in the management position. (这段力度相对太弱了)
   The fear for Professor Thomas' leave is also not necessary as she might decide the working placing on many other factors, such as family, the weather of certian(certain) places. (这段貌似太简单了)
   In sum, the support for the recommendation in the report is not convincing enough. To better support the recommendation, the report should provide more information to decide the ability of this professor; moreover, the promotion to a department chair needs more consideraitons(considerations) on other candidates.


总评:驳论点找的都很准确,论证角度选取的也不错。只是到了后面两个驳论点的时候,突然弱化了很多,不太好。
          全文行文很流畅,语言富于变化,只是小拼写错误太多,估计是作者时间太紧的原因。



[ 本帖最后由 m2zhy 于 2008-1-29 14:03 编辑 ]

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板凳
发表于 2008-1-29 16:05:34 |只看该作者

欢迎回拍

This report recommends that professor Thomas should get $10,000 salary raise and a promotion to Department Chairperson. To support this recommendation, the report cites her popularity among students and the research grants she brought  to demonstrate his teaching and research abilities. The reports also expresses the possibility of her moving to another college. All these facts told(不要), however, are not convincing enough to support the promotion of this professor.
   First, the fact that professor Thomas have one of the largest classes does not necessarily prove her teaching ability.she has a great teaching ability. Only (from)considering不要 the number of students in her class cannot conclude that she is popular as since the report can not rule out the possiblity that she might teach a general class that most of the students should (have to )take or the possibility that the time schedule of her class is favored by students. Further, we have little information about the students feedback(the feedback of the students) (或者 the feedback that the students gave)to decide her teaching effectiveness to judge her teaching ability.
    Similarly, the report cites the grant Professor Thomas brought to prove the research ability. But (Obviously,)it is not reliable. Although the grant has exceeded her salary in last two years, the report fails to consider the possibiliity that  research fundings are generally higher than the salary of faculties. The report has not given the past research activities which is the key factor to decide the research ability. It is possible that Prof. Thomas is beginning a research project and the final results are not yet clear(中国话). With merely the grant she received, we can hardly make judgements on her research ability.
    Even if Prof. Thomas is outstanding abilities, we can not decide ifwhether)she suits the position of Department Chairperson without other professors information. (什么意思?)The report can not rule out the possibility that other professors are  equally excellent or more suitable to be in the management position.
   The fear for Professor Thomas' leave is also not necessary as she might decide the working placing on many other factors, such as family, the weather of certian places.(既然提到了,还可以多说一点,比如对学校有感情,和同事都比较熟悉等等。)
   In sum, the support for the recommendation in the report is not convincing enough. To better support the recommendation, the report should provide more information to decide the ability of this professor; moreover, the promotion to a department chair need more consideraitons on other candidates.(这句表达的不好)

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RE: ARGUMENT140 【Aero小组】第9次作业 by Wizardz [修改]

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ARGUMENT140 【Aero小组】第9次作业 by Wizardz
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