Argument2 Thrive小组第1次作业

luckytseUID: 2453178

The committee of this letter concludes that in order to raise property values in Deerhaven Acres, the homeowners there should adopt our own set of restriction on landscaping and housepainting. To support it the committee cites an example of the great transformation, indeed, the Brookville community nearby made seven years ago. But I, however, cannot accept this unsubstantiated assumption.      
  First of all, noting that the restricts the homeowners in Brookville community implemented were seven years ago, the committee falsely concludes that they should make the same measure to assist Deerhaven Acres nowadays. During this sufficiently long interim period, both the communities may have presented an entirely new appearance, that is say, or perhaps, for the given color ,which has been out of fashion currently, painted in Brookville community spoils everyone’s interest so that though the average property value tripled as a flash in the pan, it is even worse now. Thus, the committee cannot draw any firm conclusion about what effect similar restrictions would have on Deerhaven property values.
Secondly, assuming that Brookville homeowners implemented these restrictions, the committee relies on the additional assumption that this course of action was responsible for the increase in Brookville property values. The committee fails to establish the causal link of the tripling of property value with the implement of Brookville’s restrictions. It is entirely possible that the climbing of property value resulted from the rising loan policy of the local government, or perhaps, a great lot of new ones came to Brookville and made the property value waxed in a short time. Accordingly, even if the homeowners in Deerhaven Acres adopt the restrictions of Brookville they may not meet their anticipated outcoming.
  Thirdly, even assuming that Brookville’s rising property values are attributable to the implementation of these restrictions, the committee fails to consider possible differences between Brookville and Deerhaven that might help to bring about a different result for Deerhaven. For instance, maybe Brookville locates in a metropolis and Deerhaven is not well located. For that matter, adopting the totally same restriction would tend to some incredible gap. Without accounting for these varieties of assumptions, the committee cannot convince me of the rationality of adopting the other experience of the other community.
  In sum, the committee has not adequately proved the referencing restriction a proper way to ensure the rising of the property value in Deerhaven Acres community. Anyway, this letter is not well reasoned.

sunman163UID: 2404820

The committee of this letter concludes that in order to raise property values in Deerhaven Acres, the homeowners there should adopt our(their) own set of restriction on landscaping and housepainting. To support it the committee cites an example of the great transformation, indeed, the Brookville community nearby made seven years ago. But I, however(but+however?我觉得可以去掉一个吧), cannot accept this unsubstantiated assumption.（前面没说什么是assumption,现在在这直接套模板的assumption是不是有点太牵强了？：）         First of all, noting that the restricts the homeowners in Brookville community implemented were seven years ago, the committee falsely concludes that they should make the same measure(这个搭配我不知道对不对，我只见过take the same measurement)to assist Deerhaven Acres nowadays. （感觉这个ts太空了，看完以后对你这段说什么还是没什么sense:）During this sufficiently long interim period, both the communities may have presented an entirely new appearance, that is (to) say, or perhaps, for the given color ,which has been out of fashion currently, painted in Brookville community spoils everyone’s interest so that though the average property value tripled as a flash in the pan, it is even worse now. Thus, the committee cannot draw any firm conclusion about what effect similar restrictions would have on Deerhaven property values.Secondly, assuming that Brookville homeowners implemented these restrictions, the committee relies on the additional assumption that this course of action was responsible for the increase in Brookville property values. The committee fails to establish the causal link of the tripling of property value with the implement of Brookville’s restrictions.（这句和第一句的关系是什么？并列？有必要么？） It is entirely possible that the climbing of property value resulted from the rising loan policy of the local government, or perhaps, a great lot of new ones came to Brookville and made the property value waxed in a short time. Accordingly, even if the homeowners in Deerhaven Acres adopt the restrictions of Brookville they may not meet their anticipated outcoming.  Thirdly, even assuming that Brookville’s rising property values are attributable to the implementation of these restrictions, the committee fails to consider possible differences between Brookville and Deerhaven that might help to bring about a different result for Deerhaven. For instance, maybe Brookville locates in a metropolis and Deerhaven is not well located. For that matter, adopting the totally same restriction would tend to some incredible gap. Without accounting for these varieties of assumptions, the committee cannot convince me of the rationality of adopting the other experience of the other community.  In sum, the committee has not adequately proved the referencing restriction a proper way to ensure the rising of the property value in Deerhaven Acres community. Anyway, this letter is not well reasoned.

总的来说文章写的不错，思路清晰而且逻辑组织比较严谨，语言方面也在一定程度上做到了能够多样化的表达。However，感觉本文中第二段中批判的内容你再考虑考虑看看是否necessary,而且你的模板和具体文章的结合度还不够，举例方面还不是非常的恰当和令人信服。

ps:这次批改有点迟，真的不好意思了，希望以后合作愉快：）

luckytseUID: 2453178

第一次感受写作文，许多不足多谢指出。刚从北京回家，几天没动笔今天开始步入正常。大家共同努力争取拿到高分。