Argument9 Thrive小组第二次练习 请多多指教~

icerainyfengUID: 2436324

题目：ARGUMENT9 - The following appeared in a memorandum from a dean at Omega University.

"Fifteen years ago, Omega University implemented a new procedure that encouraged students to evaluate the teaching effectiveness of all their professors. Since that time, Omega professors have begun to assign higher grades in their classes, and overall student grade averages at Omega have risen by thirty percent. Potential employers apparently believe the grades at Omega are inflated; this would explain why Omega graduates have not been as successful at getting jobs as have graduates from nearby Alpha University. To enable its graduates to secure better jobs, Omega University should now terminate student evaluation of professors."
字数：454      
In the argument, the author concludes that Omega University should terminate student evaluation of professors in order to secure better jobs for their students. To support the conclusion, the author points out that after the evaluation, overall students’ grade averages at OU have risen by 30%. Besides, the author cites that students graduated from OU were not successful at getting jobs as students from Alpha University. At first glance, the conclusion seems to be somewhat reasonable. While clearly examined, the argument suffers from a series of critical flaws, which render it unconvincing as it stands.

First of all, the author unfairly establishes a relationship between the evaluation and the raise of average grades that the latter contributes to the former just relying on the fact that the latter came after the former. However, the author ignores many other facts that should be taken into consideration that might also give the same result.  It is at least possible that the wholly education quality in OU has risen as a result the average grades has increased. To the extent that this is the case, the conclusion reaches in the argument is unwarranted.

Secondly, the author concludes the fact that Omerga graduates have not been successful at hunting jobs as who from AU could be a reflection that the employers believe the grades in OU are inflated. However, the author fails to build any credibility by omitting details. It is entirely possible that it is because the students are unsatisfied with the new jobs the employers offered but not the reason that they cannot find a job. Without considering and ruling out other possibility the author cannot depending on the mere fact to embrace the assumption that the employers think that high grades in OU are inflated or draw any firm conclusion.

Before coming to the conclusion, it is necessary to point out another flaw. Granted that the evaluation indeed has leaded to the inflation in grades, the conclusion that the elimination of the evaluation could secure the better jobs for the students is groundless. There are many factors that affect the harvests of the job hunters such as their working ability, how they communicate and cooperate with others and so forth. Only when the students are competent in the job, they could find a proper, satisfied job. Otherwise, the conclusion that the the evaluation should be eliminated might be useless.   

In sum, the author cannot substantiate the conclusion basing solely on the evidence provided in the argument, To advocate the conclusion, the author should offer some more  exact details in terms of the reason why the average grades in OU has risen. Also useful would be any information          of some true opinions from the employers about the conditions for students in job hunting.
提纲：
1. 不能因为评估政策发生在分数大幅度上升之前认为前者导致后者
2. OU学生在找工作方面不如AU的学生不能得出雇主认为OU学生的分数没有可靠性的结论
3. 就算评估制度被取消了也不一定能带来作者认为的可以改善OU学生找工作的结果
越写越有逻辑混乱的感觉。。。
多多指教~

z12y12l12UID: 2452277

字数：454      
In the argument, the author concludes that Omega University shouldterminate student evaluation of professors in order to secure betterjobs for their students. To support the conclusion, the author pointsout that after the evaluation(after? the evaluation is not over, it should be "during"), overall students’ grade averages at OUhave risen by 30%. Besides, the author cites that students graduatedfrom OU were not (as) successful at getting jobs as students from AlphaUniversity. At first glance, the conclusion seems to be somewhatreasonable. While clearly examined, the argument suffers from a seriesof critical flaws, which render it unconvincing as it stands.(还是典型的Conclusion-Evidence-Fallacy模式..)

First of all, the author unfairly establishes a relationship betweenthe evaluation and the raise of(in) average grades that the lattercontributes to (反了，是former contributes to latter) the former just relying on the fact that the latter cameafter the former. However, the author ignores many other facts thatshould be taken into consideration that might also give the sameresult.  It is at least possible that the wholly education quality inOU has risen as a result the average grades has increased. To theextent that this is the case, the conclusion reaches in the argument isunwarranted.

Secondly, the author concludes the fact that Omerga graduates have notbeen successful at hunting jobs as who from AU could be a reflectionthat the employers believe the grades in OU are inflated. However, theauthor fails to build any credibility by omitting details. It isentirely possible that it is because the students are unsatisfied withthe new jobs (which) the employers offered but not the reason that they cannotfind a job. Without considering and ruling out other possibility theauthor cannot depending(depend, cannot do something) on the mere fact to embrace the assumption thatthe employers think that high grades in OU are inflated or draw anyfirm conclusion.

Before coming to the conclusion, it is necessary to point out anotherflaw. Granted that the evaluation indeed has leaded to the inflation ingrades, the conclusion that the elimination of the evaluation couldsecure the better jobs for the students is groundless. There are manyfactors that affect the harvests of the job hunters such as theirworking ability, how they communicate and cooperate with others and soforth. Only when the students are competent in the job, they could finda proper, satisfied(satisfying) job. Otherwise, the conclusion that the evaluation should be eliminated might be useless.(conclusion might be useless?)   

In sum, the author cannot substantiate the conclusion basing solely onthe evidence provided in the argument, To advocate the conclusion, theauthor should offer some more  exact details in terms of the reason whythe average grades in OU has risen. Also useful would be anyinformation          of some true opinions from the employers about theconditions for students in job hunting.