argument45 [Jet小组]第三次作业～～错误之间有逻辑吗？

leftkissUID: 2347956

Argument45. The following appeared as an editorial in a wildlife journal.

"Arctic deer live on islands in Canada's arctic region. They search for food by moving over ice from island to island during the course of a year. Their habitat is limited to areas warm enough to sustain the plants on which they feed, and cold enough, at least some of the year, for the ice to cover the sea separating the islands, allowing the deer to travel over it. Unfortunately, according to reports from local hunters, the deer populations are declining. Since these reports coincide with recent global warming trends that have caused the sea ice to melt, we can conclude that the decline in arctic deer populations is the result of deer being unable to follow their age-old migration patterns across the frozen sea."

字数：358～～字数比较少啊～而且米有限时～积累不够～不过写完了还是有点开心的～
多谢修改^^

In this wildlife journal, the editor drew the conclusion that the deer population is decreasing according to the local hunters' reports. Moreover, the arguer even suggested the deer number declining owing to the green house effect. However, this argument is suffered from several critical flaws, which render it incredible not only as it stands but its casual reasoning.

A threshold problem with the argument lies in the presumptuous assumption that whether the precondition of the conclusion comes into exists. Actually, recent global warming trends have caused the sea ice to melt. However, the temperature in Canada's arctic region probably keeps stay or even is lower than before. The global conditions may be not applied equal to this area without providing adequate evidence to show the relationship. If it is the case, it would undermine the assertion that increasing temperature caused the deer population declining.

Furthermore, another problem of the argument involves the author's dubious assertion that the accuracy of the local hunters' reports. The hunters consider the number of the deer getting smaller because that they hunt few deer than before. Whereas, there are other possibilities such as the deer migrate to else island and so forth which result in outcome. So that only drew the conclusion from the hunters' reports is far from convincing and accurate. Without eliminating these possibilities, the author's assumption is totally unwarranted.

Admittedly, even though those problems mentioned above are valid this argument is still not cogent. Getting warm might make the deer population declining, considering that the deer be unable to follow their age-old migration patterns across the frozen sea to feed them. However, other reasons also result in the same aftereffect like that the local hunters abused hunting deer or the environment is polluted which is not suitable to the deer survival or the situations both occurred. Ignoring such probabilities, the conclusion is untenable.

To sum up, the argument is unconvincing. To corroborate it, the editor must provide sufficient evidence showing the accuracy of the hunters' reports. Moreover, the argument should prove clear relationship between the declining of the deer population and the global warming trends rather than the casual ones.


这个题目，感觉错误之间没有什么内在联系，所以写出来就觉得逻辑性不是很强
而且好像没有什么话说～大家觉得呢？

[ 本帖最后由 leftkiss 于 2008-2-5 20:40 编辑 ]

txjlionUID: 2445370

In this wildlife journal, the editor drew the conclusion that the deer population is decreasing according to the local hunters' reports. Moreover（鹿的数量下降与后面作者的观点没有递进的关系，所以这里moreover不对）, the arguer even suggested the deer number declining owing to the green house effect(suggest后面接的既不是句子，也不是to do 语法问题). However, this argument is suffered from several critical flaws, which render it incredible not only as it stands but its casual reasoning.

A threshold problem with the argument lies in the presumptuous assumption that whether the precondition of the conclusion comes into exists（that后面修饰的是前面的problem，而不是assumption，assumption不存在whether的关系。这个句子应该改写一下）. Actually, recent global warming trends have caused the sea ice to melt. However, the temperature in Canada's arctic region probably keeps stay or even is（前面的动作词是表示持续变化的，这里用becomes等也表示持续变化的词，比较好）lower than before. The global conditions may be not applied equal to this area without providing adequate evidence to show the relationship. If it is the case, it would undermine the assertion that increasing temperature caused the deer population declining.

Furthermore, another problem of the argument involves the author's dubious assertion that the accuracy of the local hunters' reports. The hunters consider the number of the deer getting smaller because that they hunt few deer than before. Whereas, there are other possibilities such as the deer migrate to else island and so forth which result in （the） outcome. So that only drew the conclusion from the hunters' reports is far from convincing and accurate. Without eliminating these possibilities, the author's assumption is totally unwarranted.


Admittedly, even though those problems mentioned above are valid this argument is still not cogent. Getting warm might make the deer population declining, considering that the deer be unable to follow their age-old migration patterns across the frozen sea to feed them. However, other reasons also result in the same aftereffect like that the local hunters abused hunting deer or the environment is polluted which is not suitable to the deer survival or the situations both occurred. Ignoring such probabilities, the conclusion is untenable.

To sum up, the argument is unconvincing. To corroborate it, the editor must provide sufficient evidence showing the accuracy of the hunters' reports. Moreover, the argument should prove a clear relationship between the declining of the deer population and the global warming trends rather than the casual ones.

转折关系，递进关系的副词用的有些多，其实逻辑关系上并没有那种关系。
觉得总体来说，这篇文章的文笔比那篇issue好很多，不过说实话，看完之后有一种感觉，主要是在套用模板，而缺乏自己思想的痕迹。所以显得有点空。这方面要想提高，建议你先从中文角度，好好描述一下想说的内容，再用英文展开。如果观点不是自己仔细想过的，很难展得开的。

：）

idragonUID: 2449532

1.没有确切的证据表明deer真的在减少猎人的报道是否可信,他们的观测方法是否科学,都是值得怀疑的.很可能鹿群(deer)改变的行走的路线routine(migration patterns)没有被观测到.
2.即使小鹿真的少了,没有证据表明全球变暖和鹿的因果.没有证据表明加拿大的北极区冰融化了,即使融化了也没有说明融化有没有影响到鹿.所以OOOXXX.
3即使真的有影响了,但影响大到可以减少鹿么,作者没有考虑其它可能性,也许正是因为猎人的增多使得鹿少了,也许因为严寒使鹿找不到食物从而减少了.

错误点是少了点,但是逻辑还是比较明显的...我觉得..