issue150 [Jet小组] 第五次作业

sendUID: 2200778

Topic:Because of television and world wide computer connections, people can now become familiar with a great many places that they have never visited. As a result, tourism will soon become obsolete.

The invention of television and worldwide computer connections actually plays an important role in enlarging people’s horizons and obtaining unexpected information. However, compared with appreciating the image from the television and internet, tourism has its own advantages. That is to say it is impossible tourism will soon be taken place.

It is undeniable that with the development of television technique and stereo system,high-tech products entirely could make people enjoy themselves in a virtual world. For example, with the help of high definition and large screen, one could overlook the scenery of the bottom of mountain without climbing the mountain. With the S-X bass system help, one could listen for the echo without standing in a valley. In such a simulated environment, one would have an  immersed sense. But only by seeing and hearing can we feel the real world?

One of the advantages of tourism is we also feel the world by adding touching and smelling. How romantic when we pay attention to listen to chirps we could smell flowery odour. What a pleasant moment that we keep an eye on the clear fountain at the same time we could touch the cool water. There is no virtual system that could keep up with the real feelings. After all, the television is an indirect method you feel the scenery but tourism is a direct method.

Another advantage of tourism is we could visit any places in all perspectives. It also means that although the television and internet are developed, the image and voice caused by them is conducted by others but not by ours. This poses a new problem whether people could have the same thought and feeling through other’s video just like they do it for themselves. For example, people want to watch that what does the Great Wall like at drawn but they only have a video recording the Great Wall at sunrise. Though video they are familiar with this building but they cannot feel this by their own way.

What’s more, the process of enjoying tourism itself is also pleasant. For instance,some people want to travel not only to visit their destination but also to share their journey with their fellow travelers. It is seems to me that sometimes the result of travel is not important but the process of travel brings joy. Just as some climbers are pleasure to overcome their difficulties in climbing and achieving the top of mountain only represent that they ever devoted on challenging difficulties.

All in all, tourism will not become obsolete even if the high-tech products couldprovide more favourable and pleasant service and function in the future,because of the advantages of tourism mentioned above. Furthermore, it is alsopossible people would likely to travel where they know about from televisionand internet.

[ 本帖最后由 send 于 2008-2-11 11:16 编辑 ]

xiahsoulUID: 2441730

The invention of television and worldwide computer connections actually plays an important role in enlarging（好像没有enlarge the horizon的说法，试试widen) people’s horizons and obtaining unexpected information. However, compared with appreciating the image from the television and internet, tourism has its own advantages. That is to say it is impossible tourism will soon be taken place.

It is undeniable that with the development of television technique and stereo system,high-tech products entirely could make people enjoy themselves in a virtual world. For example, with the help of high definition and large screen, one could overlook the scenery of the bottom of mountain without climbing the mountain. With the S-X bass system help, one could listen for the echo without standing in a valley. In such a simulated environment, one would have an  immersed sense. But only by seeing and hearing can we feel the real world?(建议这句话不要放到最后，最后放到下一段去作为开头，因为一段一般的不要有转折）（不过这段用的词都好专业的说stereo system, high definition S-X  bass:victory:）

One of the advantages of tourism is we also feel the world by adding touching and smelling. How romantic when we pay attention to listen to chirps we could smell flowery odour. What a pleasant moment that we keep an eye on(keep an eye on 用在这里不好吧） the clear fountain at the same time we could touch the cool water. There is no virtual system that could keep up with the real feelings. After all, the television is an indirect method you feel the scenery but tourism is a direct method（one).

Another advantage of tourism is we could visit any places in all perspectives. It also means that although the television and internet are developed, the image and voice caused by them is conducted by others but not by ours. This poses a new problem whether people could have the same thought and feeling through other’s video just like they do it for themselves. For example, people want to watch that what does the Great Wall like at drawn but they only have a video recording the Great Wall at sunrise. Though video they are familiar with this building but they cannot feel this by their own way.(这段的视角很独特）

What’s more, the process of enjoying tourism itself is also pleasant. For instance,some people want to travel not only to visit their destination but also to share their journey with their fellow travelers. It is seems to me that sometimes the result of travel is not important but the process of travel brings joy(感觉这句话不对，sometimes it is not the results of travle but the process of travel brings joy). Just as some climbers are pleasure to overcome their difficulties in climbing and achieving the top of mountain only represent that they ever devoted on challenging difficulties.

All in all, tourism will not become obsolete even if the high-tech products couldprovide more favourable and pleasant service and function in the future,because of the advantages of tourism mentioned above（这句话放在这里是什么意思？）. Furthermore, it is also possible people would likely to travel where they know about from televisionand internet（觉得最后这一句有点唐突，你前文一直都没有涉及这一点，但是突然有来了这样的一句话，而且考虑到题目中有一句管与familiar 的话，个人觉得还是要在文中专门论述下，要么到文尾也不要提，这样相当于提醒考官你没有考虑到这一点）

一点看法： 觉得你很多东西写的比较专业 看得出来LZ很认真  单词不错 但是语言的丰富性和句式的多样性还可以加强点（我都是会说别人 自己不会做）
还是一篇不错的文章

[ 本帖最后由 xiahsoul 于 2008-2-13 16:44 编辑 ]