issue150 [Jet小组]第五次作业

benjamin07UID: 2310909

TOPIC: ISSUE150 - "Because of television and worldwide computer connections, people can now become familiar with a great many places that they have never visited. As a result, tourism will soon become obsolete."
WORDS: 654         TIME: 0:45:00          DATE: 2008-1-30

The speaker asserts that tourism will soon become obsolete because people can become familiar with a great many places they have never visited before through television and worldwide computer connections. As far as I am concerned, I concede that we have become more familiar with many great interests of places than before through watching television or browsing and checking the places on the internet. However, I do not agree with the speaker that the tourism will then become obsolete soon for that the speaker ignores the differences between watching TV , surfing internet and taking a real trip to the places that we have seen on television or on internet,

Admittedly, many other places have been familiar to our citizens through watching TV and internet. With the development of science and technology, almost every family owns a television, no matter it is good or bad in quality. Through all kinds of channels, especially educational channel which introduces the geographic knowledge that instructs the most famous resorts in the world, or entertainment one which spread most popular places which people all over the world have traveled to. By doing this, people begin and start to know about other fantastic or mysterious places beyond their country. In the likelihood, people who can use the technology of internet can also absorb the same information and know about the other places better than before. For instance, before television or internet technology is developed, few people know little about the famous places such as Bali-a famous place in Indonesia, which is known as "the Jewel of the East Asia"  and the beautiful scenes of Hawaii. This illustrates that people are never unfamiliar with the outside world.

Although I concede that purpose of tourism has become fewer and fewer, however, taking a trip on holiday or having business trips are becoming frequently. Nowadays, people are always busy with their work or businesses on working days except holidays. Therefore, when the holidays are available, they are reluctant to stay at home, instead, they would like to relax themselves through traveling. Under this circumstances, the amazing and fantastic places which haven been known to them mentioned above may probably be their first choice. The reason is that there all totally differences between the scenes of the great places and the real experiences of traveling there. Furthermore, this course of action may somewhat strengthen the kin relationship between family members. In other words, the whole family can cherish this valuable holiday staying together, not only relaxing themselves to get rid of exhaustiveness of works or studies, but more importantly, increasing the opportunity and extending the period of time that the whole family communicating with each other, leading to the healthy development of the family.

In addition, the television and computer connection to some extent make the tourism thriving and prospective, rather than make the tourism obsolete, generally speaking. Through the dissemination and spread of the television and internet, many famous tourism agencies can obtain their great success through this kind of media. What is more, people’s traveling places have not been restrained within one particular areas or regions, instead, taking a trip to other country has become more and more popular. Another factor that the speaker has to take into consideration is that people’s quality of life have been improved quite a lot, which would spontaneously motivate people’s to pursue high quality of life, and tourism would be one way of the means of improving the taste of life.

In sum, although people can know about more places of the world through television or internet, it can not make the tourism obsolete, on the contrary, it would make the tourism to some extent thriving because the media of television and computer connection can act as disseminate and spread the knowledge and information of the famous resorts in the world and the differences between watching TV and indulging themselves in real places through tourism.

cascadeUID: 2454141

TOPIC: ISSUE150 - "Because of television and worldwide computer connections, people can now become familiar with a great many places that they have never visited. As a result, tourism will soon become obsolete."
WORDS: 654         TIME: 0:45:00          DATE: 2008-1-30

The speaker asserts that tourism will soon become obsolete because people can become familiar with a great many places they have never visited before through television and worldwide computer connections. As far as I am concerned, I concede that we have become more familiar with many great interests of places than before through watching television or browsing and checking the places on the internet. However, I do not agree with the speaker that the tourism will then become obsolete soon for that the speaker ignores the differences between watching TV , surfing internet and taking a real trip to the places that we have seen on television or on internet（点出了要害）.

Admittedly, many other places have been familiar to our citizens through watching TV and internet. With the development of science and technology, almost every family owns a television, no matter it is good or bad in quality. Through all kinds of channels, especially educational channel which introduces the geographic knowledge that instructs the most famous resorts in the world, or entertainment one which spread most popular places which people all over the world have traveled to. By doing this, people begin and start to know about other fantastic or mysterious places beyond their country. In the likelihood, people who can use the technology of internet can also absorb the same information and know about the other places better than before. For instance, before television or internet technology is developed, few people know little about the famous places such as Bali-a famous place in Indonesia, which is known as "the Jewel of the East Asia"  and the beautiful scenes of Hawaii.(这些景观可以通过报纸杂志知道,这些景观太有名了,说每人知道不太恰当，例子有些牵强) This illustrates that people are never unfamiliar with the outside world.

Although I concede that purpose of tourism has become fewer and fewer, however, taking a trip on holiday or having business trips are becoming frequently（感觉有点咬文嚼字）. Nowadays, people are always busy with their work or businesses on working days except holidays. Therefore, when the holidays are available, they are reluctant to stay at home, instead, they would like to relax themselves through traveling. Under this circumstances, the amazing and fantastic places which haven been known to them mentioned above may probably be their first choice. The reason is that there all totally differences between the scenes of the great places and the real experiences of traveling there. Furthermore, this course of action may somewhat strengthen the kin relationship between family members. In other words, the whole family can cherish this valuable holiday staying together, not only relaxing themselves to get rid of exhaustiveness of works or studies, but more importantly, increasing the opportunity and extending the period of time that the whole family communicating with each other, leading to the healthy development of the family.（这一段的出发点很有新意）

In addition, the television and computer connection to some extent make the tourism thriving and prospective, rather than make the tourism obsolete, generally speaking. Through the dissemination and spread of the television and internet, many famous tourism agencies can obtain their great success through this kind of media. What is more, people’s traveling places have not been restrained within one particular areas or regions, instead, taking a trip to other country has become more and more popular. Another factor that the speaker has to take into consideration is that people’s quality of life have been improved quite a lot, which would spontaneously motivate people’s to pursue high quality of life, and tourism would be one way of the means of improving the taste of life.

In sum, although people can know about more places of the world through television or internet, it can not make the tourism obsolete, on the contrary, it would make the tourism to some extent thriving because the media of television and computer connection can act as disseminate and spread the knowledge and information of the famous resorts in the world and the differences between watching TV and indulging themselves in real places through tourism.

整篇文章的逻辑清晰，抓住了原文的主要的错误，但行文仍显得有点拖沓， 对同一个意思解释的比较多。全文闪光的句子不多，建议在句型和词汇上继续加油