Issue48 [Jet小姐]第十次作业

michaelxuywUID: 2330197

48. "The study of history places too much emphasis on individuals.The most significant events and trends in history were made possible not by thefamous few, but by groups of people whose identities have long beenforgotten."

        
Today's books of history are full of description of eminent figure, and some people think that this shows a prejudice on the groups of people in history who possibly played a crucial role in bringing about the most significant events and trends. I admit that the importance of groups of people was somewhat overshadowed by some famous few, however, I believe both of them are essential in these historical events and history.

Firstly, the famous figures in history played a role as originator or leader in bringing about the events and trends in history. The originality , innovations or simply difference are considered essential in contributing to the significance of events and trends in history, which are more likely brought by some great minds. For instance, the idea of equal rights, conveyed by the words of Martin Luther King, inspired a great many people to join the movement in overturning the segregation law. To the contrary, a malicious intent to revenge from infamous terrorist Bin Laden razed the World Trade Towers and put the world in horror.

Secondly, the famous individual in history not only contributed their idea, but also usually took the role as a leader in these historical events which is crucial to the success of these. They made critical decision and take in-time action at the right time, they took full responsibility, also they act as walking examples to the fellowmen, which is helpful to bring all the people as a whole. Almost every important war in history can be thought of as the best stages on which these great figures displayed their leadership.

However, the importance of group of people, which is often underestimated, are also indispensable to the occurrence of most historical events and trends. Just as a composer could not play his concerto without an orchestra, the events and trends in history were not likely to happen without the acceptance and support from groups of other people, not mention became the significant ones. A thinker relies on his disciples to propagate his great idea to the general public; a general need his army to fight.

Admittedly, the study of history gives us such a impression that the history is made by a famous few rather than those groups of people. One of the reason is that these events did originate from those great minds, in fact, they acted as a symbolic which makes it natural for historian give them priority over those underlying groups of people. Another reason is that the emphasis on the famous one in history, which includes a detailed description of their biography, personality, or anecdotes, are more likely to draw interests from readers of the present, which, in return, encourages historian to study them more.

To sum up, both individuals and groups of people play a pivotal role in those events and trends in history, the former bring about it while the latter give them a big thrust. Some people thinks Giuliani, former New York mayor, was the biggest hero in the 9/11, however, we should not overlook the endeavour and even sacrifice of those firefighter, and both of them should not be forgotten.

tomchaogreUID: 2460910

Today's books of history are full of description of eminent figure, and some people think that this shows a prejudice on the groups of people in history who possibly played a crucial role in bringing about the most significant events and trends. I admit that the importance of groups of people was somewhat overshadowed by some famous few, however, I believe both of them are essential in these historical events and （加上in）history.

Firstly, the famous figures in history played a role as originator or leader in bringing about the events and trends in history. The originality , innovations or simply difference are considered essential in contributing to the significance of events and trends in history, which are more likely 加上to be brought by some great minds. For instance, the idea of equal rights, conveyed by the words of Martin Luther King, inspired a great many people to join the movement in overturning the segregation law. To the contrary, a malicious intent to revenge from infamous terrorist Bin Laden razed the World Trade Towers and put the world in horror.（举例一正一反，具有代表性，熟练）

Secondly, the famous individual in history not only contributed their idea, but also usually took the role as a leader in these historical events which is crucial to the success of these(言人之所欲言而不能言，精当). They made critical decision and take in-time action at the right time不太符合现实, they took full responsibility, also they act as walking examples to the fellowmen, which is helpful to bring all the people as a whole感觉不太地道，也许可用have great impact on the crowd. Almost every important war in history can be thought of as the best stages on which these great figures displayed their leadership.

However, the importance of group of people, which is often underestimated, are also indispensable to the occurrence of most historical events and trends. Just as a composer could not play his concerto without an orchestra, the events and trends in history were not likely to happen without the acceptance and support from groups of other people, not (加上to) mention became(改成becoming) the significant ones. A thinker relies on his disciples to propagate his great idea to the general public; a general need his army to fight.(举例得当)

Admittedly, the study of history gives us such a impression that the history is made by a（去掉a） famous few rather than those groups of people. One of the reason is that these events did originate from those great minds, in fact, they acted as a symbolic(改为symbolics) which makes it natural for historian (加上to) give them priority over those underlying groups of people. Another reason is that the emphasis on the famous ones in history, which includes(emphasis不能include description of biography,句式要改一改) a detailed description of their biography, personality, or anecdotes,(加上which) are more likely to draw interests from readers of the present, which, in return, encourages historian to study them more（分析独到）.

To sum up, both individuals and groups of people play a pivotal role in those events and trends in history, the former bring about it while the latter give them a big thrust. Some people thinks Giuliani, former New York mayor, was the biggest hero in the 9/11, however, we should not overlook the endeavour and even sacrifice of those firefighter, and both of them should not be forgotte(例子不错).


Admittedly一段最为精彩，写出了两个精微的关系（smbolic;in return）。前几段那是人人能写出来，这一段就展示才华了。

总体来说结构内容都很好，语法有minor flaws 所以5-6分都有可能


[ 本帖最后由 tomchaogre 于 2008-2-25 12:43 编辑 ]

tomchaogreUID: 2460910

你的Argument131我明天在改吧，然后我的Argument131明天 就是星期二也会发上来