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请大家看看我写的essay,别客气.. [复制链接]

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发表于 2008-2-25 13:08:42 |显示全部楼层
If you ask me where I am come from, I would be proud to tell you:” Chengdu.” Yes, Chengdu, one of the few sustainable cities in China. I got to know the word “sustainability” when I was at the age of eight, the time when Chengdu has built the first Chinese inner-city ecological park, Chengdu Living Water Park.
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7 j# m4 k1 q/ \I used to pay a visit to the new natrual city park with my parents. And the most attractive thing for me is the shape and the function of the park. The natural shape of the parkland resembles a fish, an important symbol of regeneration. And the six-acre park is actually a small eco-system, it demonstrates how the polluted water in the natrual world (maily from Fu Nan River, a big river flows across the city) change from dirty to clean, “dead” to “alive”. And that’s why it is named “Living” Water Park.% Q7 u! Q$ w( F2 _: p2 ~9 w; p

4 S& Z2 M5 u' _As I grown up, I have been taught a lot about how human destroy the environment without taking care of the next generation. Then I ask myself, “ How can I make it possible for the environment to fit both my children’s and my need?”. Afterward, I get to know that is the core question for sustainability.' `( p3 y  R$ a( }* `

, Y5 P  t( ]" k- M0 z, I& P( x& HSo, I began to search informations on sustainability through library and Internet. But the informatins I got is too difficult for a 14-year-old boy and I do not have a really specific model in my mind. I do not know what kind of environment our human beings really need. The only thing I have is just an idea but no measures to do more.
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% n  ~! a, j& Z& ^& V/ h9 ~The following period of time, I thought of several ways to solute the problem, but I was busy preparing for my junior high school graduation exam. So I did not pay more attention to this dream of my childhood until I got a chance to be a volunteer teacher in Hong Yuan, Aba.
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3 V( a3 o; q  O; \8 l! IAba Tibetan-Qiang Autonomous Prefecture is located on the northwestern Chengdu. It is mainly inhabited by the Tibetan and Qiang ethnic groups. Aba is famous for its beautiful scenery, distinctive ethnic customs, and abundant tourist resources. Hong Yuan is famous for Hong Yuan Grassland and many precious and rare wildlife, including roe deer, bear, and leopards.
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As I reached Hong Yuan, I was deeply impressed by its beautiful and unique scenery. The great grassland with wild flowers everywhere, cattle and sheep are having fun time eating fresh grass. Standing there, I feel like standing in the dreamland, no modernized industry, no money-related business, no war, and no pains…the only things left is you and the holy peaceful grassland.
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The local student told me, their parents do farm work all their lives and so will they. So I ask them how they protect the grassland, they looked at me as they do not know what does “protect” mean. Later on, I realized that they did nothing else; just let everything go as they once were. They do like this is because of the high altitude; there are no factories which is harmful for the grassland. So the eco-system of Hong Yuan is sort of independent and that keeps the natural environment all the same. This reminds me of the Chengdu Living Water Park, the first independent inner-city ecological park in China, is the same as Hong Yuan grassland. This is what I ever wanted; this is the model deep in my heart. This is the best type of environment our human beings need.
+ t0 K$ Y+ Z7 b  vSo here comes another question: what can I do to make that kind of environment come into being?; b. b7 C8 `8 p6 Q
The solution came at last year when I took part in the China Youth Space Academy (CYSA) program and was selected as one of the 16 winners to have a 10-day academic visit at Arizona State University in Tempe, USA. That brief visit, and all I saw in Tempe, increased my determination to be accepted one day as a student at ASU. * \2 @! ~! c4 o' f  V7 A/ M- C

+ L3 P, _) j+ S' d+ D2 a* b0 @' oDuring my visit, I got a taste of the university’s social and sustainable side. And most importantly, I met Prof. Jonathan Fink from the school of sustainability in ASU. From him, I know that ASU is called “American Sustainable University” for the sustainable facilities, sustainable campus, as well as its unique major of sustainability and school of sustainability. To my surprise, Mr. Fink knows my hometown, Chengdu, very well and he designed Chengdu Living Water Park!!! He told me that he joined to design the fantastic park and was greatly impressed by the beautiful sustainable city. We had a pleasant conversation with each other. It was then that my dream to attend ASU began.
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Chengdu Living Water Park is the first teacher to let me to know the word “sustainability”, and I suppose it is recommending me to go to “American sustainable university” to know the word “sustainability” much more. So attending ASU has become my dream- a dream that I hope will soon become a reality.

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发表于 2008-2-25 14:01:01 |显示全部楼层
。。。。。。。。。。。
3 K9 _4 C1 W0 t8 v# t  i! N你可以重写了。。。。
原来这么久的感情不抵一句玩笑...

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发表于 2008-2-25 14:02:37 |显示全部楼层
多说说关于你自己,少说一些废话。。。: H9 {' l+ L! Z; Q* e9 H: r$ J
内容简短一点,不要太长
原来这么久的感情不抵一句玩笑...

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发表于 2008-2-25 14:17:19 |显示全部楼层
LZ,你做什么了。我在文章里没有看到一个IMPRESSIVE YOU
五年,记忆,成长
泪水,欢笑,坚忍

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发表于 2008-2-25 14:53:31 |显示全部楼层

回复 #4 tolkien_S 的帖子

做了色狼...
原来这么久的感情不抵一句玩笑...

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发表于 2008-2-25 23:20:51 |显示全部楼层
我写的都是关于自己的啊....
( q9 Q) O- l9 U! X- f, }可以再说的详细一些吗?

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发表于 2008-2-26 00:00:45 |显示全部楼层
Read it by yourself first

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发表于 2008-2-26 00:38:33 |显示全部楼层

回复 #7 tol5530619 的帖子

guanyu shi ge fan wei hen da de ci.
五年,记忆,成长
泪水,欢笑,坚忍

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发表于 2008-2-26 04:23:45 |显示全部楼层
??不是?]?自己, 而是?的太?略, ?]有??, ?]有心理。9 Z* E' I4 `7 g& C6 M4 h6 H8 B6 w2 Z& d
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描??客??境和???的?r候要?略, 描??自己的?r候要??深入。 我想?也就是?巧?孜徽f的多??于自己的意思。* L! S8 X9 a0 s& d& Q0 x
???稿子真得多改?妆椋海

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发表于 2008-2-26 06:54:17 |显示全部楼层

回复 #10 小寒寒 的帖子

我觉得应该重写...
原来这么久的感情不抵一句玩笑...

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Golden Apple

发表于 2008-2-26 07:51:50 |显示全部楼层
essay是个展现自我的途径~
Architectural Engineering 2011Fall
准备申M
目标Purdue PSU UT-A Colorado Concordia
同为ARCH E的联系我~

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发表于 2008-2-26 08:46:21 |显示全部楼层
原帖由 我叫怕怕 于 2008-2-25 16:18 发表
3 W, u+ m4 A9 J. X* j4 B..............麻烦多写写自己的感受哈~~:) 同志们啊,今天怎么同时冒出来两个人要改文章的???米们都是2013吗??:o

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/ p+ u9 j$ A7 {( q( |' P色有色的境界,你领悟不了的
原来这么久的感情不抵一句玩笑...

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发表于 2008-2-26 10:46:49 |显示全部楼层

回复 #13 xp111 的帖子

请注意言行。
五年,记忆,成长
泪水,欢笑,坚忍

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发表于 2008-2-26 10:54:46 |显示全部楼层
不知道LZ这是什么ESSAY。7 H" M3 P- z5 x6 F+ z
如果就是ESSAY的话,写的很不错啊。7 P: d  Y! z6 A( {
如果是传说中的PS那种ESSAY的话,就不太好了

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发表于 2008-2-26 10:55:32 |显示全部楼层

回复 #13 xp111 的帖子

请注意言行。
五年,记忆,成长
泪水,欢笑,坚忍

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RE: 请大家看看我写的essay,别客气.. [修改]

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请大家看看我写的essay,别客气..
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-805279-1-1.html
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