issue38 [Jet小组]第十二次作业

mingtian#UID: 2443577

TOPIC: ISSUE38 - "In the age of television, reading books is not as important as it once was. People can learn as much by watching television as they can by reading books."


Since the first television(TV) was invented in RCA company of America in 1939, people all have felt the convenience and comfort which brought by this little machine. However, even to now, in the aspect of learning, it still can't replace the function of reading books.

There is no doubt that TV is more precise and vivid than the monotone books. No matter how well words describe, you can't really see the heart-stirring scene in the sports while TV can do it. Through TV you can see the movements of every muscle and think of power contained in it. And television is also a highly pleasant way for moderns to relax themselves. After a whole day's work or study, people's first action as long as they get home is picking up the remote controller automatically. Entertainment channel, sports channel, talk show, soap opera, you name it; you can find nearly everything you want to watch in seconds. Undoubtedly, with the presence of television, learning has become more enjoyable, and people's life less dull.


However, in many other fields, books are more useful than TV. As for ancient things, there are only books that can we know the history. Though people nowadays often perform these affairs on TV after reading books, it's mainly relying on fancies. Emotions and historic educational meanings still need to be presented by books.


One of the most widely known disadvantages of television is definitely "couch potato". We owe the existence of this word to the appearance of television. As it has just presented, people turn on television so long as they get home, they are so lazy that they are reluctantly to do anything else but sitting in the couch and switching from channel 1 to 9. No wonder--people's two thumbs are the healthiest part of their bodies. And another problem caused by TV now is more serious. A number of cases were done by children who watched some violent television viewing. The scene in TV is more vicious than their normal experience. Therefore, the effect will be deeper and more long-time lasted. This affect can’t be ignored because children are going to be hosts of our society. We can’t imagine what the world will be when they run it. When the fighting comes to books, it’s not so vivid and will give the reader places to think. Then the concequence will be more realistic.


So in sum, every coin has two sides. TV is the same. Though its effect is more absolute at current affairs and comforting hearts. But at other fields, book’s function can’t be replaced by TV.

滴滴雨儿UID: 2392741

Since the first television(TV) was invented in RCA company of America in 1939, people all havefelt the convenience and comfort which brought by this little machine. However, even to now,(转折加让步?) in the aspect of learning, it still(如果要说still的话,之前就应该指出在学习方面的方便,而第一句话是笼统概括,所以这个地方不要说still)can't replace the function of reading books.

There is no doubt that TV is more precise and vividthan the monotone books. (这句话可以说的再漂亮完整些,把前者的图象和声音,后者的文字都写进去)Nomatter how well words describe, you can't really see the heart-stirring scenein the sports while TV can do it. ThroughTV you can see the movements of every muscle and think of power contained init.(这句话想要说明什么?) Andwatching television(小地方,如果都用TV了这个地方也用吧) is also a highly pleasant way for moderns torelax themselves. After a whole day's work or study, people's first action aslong as they get home is picking up the remote controller automatically(觉得用的不合适,说without hesitate怎么样). Entertainmentchannel, sports channel, talk show, soap opera, you name it; you can findnearly everything you want to watch in seconds.(有个问题你忽略了,节目虽多,安排时间不由你定,不是人们能够随便选择的)Undoubtedly, with the presence of television, learning has become moreenjoyable, and people's life less dull.(这个地方扯到学习太牵强了,之前你列举的频道全部都是娱乐性质的呢,既然说人们忙了一天回到家而看电视,谁还会继续学习呢?这一段改成电视提供了一种更方便的娱乐方式还比较贴切你的内容些)
However, in many other fields, books are more(much) useful than TV. As for(such as) ancientthings, there are only books that can we know the history.(不一定吧,你忘记百家讲坛了么)Though people nowadays often perform these affairs on TV after reading books,(表述太生硬了) it'smainly relying on fancies. Emotions and historic educational meanings stillneed to be presented by books.(观点还不错,但是没有展开谈,说说为什么书就比电视好.另外你开头说many other,这里只说了一个啊,好歹再说一个吧)

One of the most widely known disadvantages oftelevision is definitely "couch potato"(couch potato是人,不是电视的缺点,要换种说法). Weowe the existence of this word to the appearance of television.(把这句话改一下换成本段TS还不错) Asit has just presented, people turn on television so long as they get home, theyare so lazy that they are reluctantly to do anything else but sitting in thecouch and switching from channel 1 to 9. No wonder--people's two thumbs are thehealthiest part of their bodies. (分析不够深入,这种现象的原因?另外不要以偏概全了)And another problem caused byTV now is more serious. A number of cases were done by children who watchedsome violent television viewing. The scene in TV is more vicious than theirnormal experience. Therefore, the effect will be deeper and more long-timelasted. This affect can’t be ignored because children are going to be hosts ofour society. We can’t imagine what the world will be like when theyrun it. When the fighting comes to books, it’s not so vivid and will give thereader places to think. Then the consequence will be more realistic.(最后一句有点不明所以,什么的结果?)
这一段说电视的负面影响应该搬到电视的好处之后,这样逻辑上更连贯.

(删So) in sum, every coin has two sides.(记得某老师说过千万不要说这么Chinglish的话) TVis the same. Though its effect ismore absolute at current affairs(看不懂…) andcomforting hearts. But at other fields, book’s function can’t be replaced by TV.

刚开始练习AW吧?看得出很多地方都不习惯,首先,在词汇量不大的情况下(比如我就是),尽量多做一些句式变换,长短句结合,让文章看起来更有节奏感. 其次, 拿到一个issue题目之后还是多思考一下再动手写. 比方说你这一篇, 很多地方都是浅尝辄止, 没有深入分析,让人不能信服,分析深入了,字数也就自然上去了.另外你文章开头和结尾都说电视不能代替书本,你却花大手笔说电视的优点和缺点,却只浅浅的提了一下书本的一点点好处,更不用说那点好处我可以轻易推翻你了. 每个issue题目都可以给人很多启发,多思考一下,你一定会有很大收获. 建议你多看看范文,有时间的话也多背一些,对你思路的启发和语言的表述都有很大好处.从你这篇文章来看,太多表述都是很明显的翻译中文, 需要再提高.
总之,都花点功夫,加油吧~ 我也是新手,还有三天上考场,这些都是自己复习了二十来天后的个人感想,希望能够共同提高.加油! ^_^

[ 本帖最后由 滴滴雨儿 于 2008-3-1 17:16 编辑 ]