argument178 persistence小组第一次作业

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ARGUMENT178 - The following appeared in the annual report from the president of the National Brush Company.

"In order to save money, we at the National Brush Company have decided to pay our employees for each brush they produce instead of for the time they spend producing brushes. We believe that this policy will lead to the production of more and better brushes, will allow us to reduce our staff size, and will enable the company factories to operate for fewer hours-resulting in savings on electricity and security costs. These changes will ensure that the best workers keep their jobs and that the company will earn a profit in the coming year."


In order to improve the profit of the National Brush Company (NBC), the president of company raises the way of changing the way of paying employees. By considering several changes brought by the new policy, the target seems easy to get. However, there are some dubious assumptions in the passage, thus the result of the changing is susceptible.
First of all, paying the employees by each brush they produce might have a positive effect to the workers which possibly stimulates the passion of the workers to engage in their work more time a day. But, as far as the passage shows or by common sense, there is no sign of quality improvement.  The conclusion based on the assumption is therefore inconvincible. If the company take the advise, it could risk the lost of its client, now and potent ional, as a result of poor quality, which could possible happen.
Even if the quality still the same with earlier, if not even bad, the cost for security cannot be saved. From the assumption of the passage and the fact as far as we get, there is no casual relation between the security cost and the paying method.
Thirdly, now we assuming that all of the objects about the cost and be achieved. Will our opponent work as before? The best worker in our company can be paid much more than before while we also run the risk of losing them. Obviously, the experienced worker stay in the NBC as scheduled, what kind of method can be taken to guarantee that they will stay for ever? The rivals of NBC can provide a higher salary for them. Then what the result of reform in NBC is picking up the best workers and watching them enhance the strength of their rivals.
In sum, the president has failed to provide adequate evidence to prove to support his claim that the new policy could serve to ensure the improving of profits for NBC. Even worse, if the advice is taken by NBC, then the company could run of risk of losing its market. If the policy is taken, the NBC needs more investigations and seriously estimate the risk it may face. Reform is necessary sometimes with enough evidence and reasonable way.

[ 本帖最后由 liyue24 于 2008-3-1 22:40 编辑 ]

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argument 提纲
127
S
The statement establish its fundation on a false relation between the efficence and the employee' ineternet use.
The arguer trys to convince us that if time used in private decline the atmosphere of working will improve while ignore more important factors to form a positive work ethic.
Additionally, the assumption that more time spent at work can bring considerable profits improve is unjustfiable. Common sense tells us the production is a complex equation in which profits are decided by several cost and income.
首先，工作效率可能与INTERNET的使用关系不大，因为员工以别的方式进行私人活动。
其次，工作气氛与节省时间没有很大的联系，因为其他的因素比效率更重要。
最后，整体利润的提高与时间长短没有直接关联，利润与很多因素有关，效率只是其中之一。
132
EO
The argure committed a false analogy between the store and the factory as a result the conclusion get from that is suspectble.
Even assumpt that workers do the same work and hours are cut down as the statement we still not sure that the workers can have better and improved morale because they can find a part-time job if they have more time.
Still, the reason of satisfaction is vague and no evidence shows that it result from their time.
Finally,can the survey reports exactly shows the ideas represented all the people? How large is the sample and what is the procedure of the survey?
首先，把商店同工厂进行比较是错误的，他们本来就不同，因此而得出的结论也是令人怀疑的。
其次，即使假设工人的工作条件相同，采取了假设的措施，可能仍然达不到目的，因为工人可能利用多出来的时间再找一份工作。
第三，满意来自什么？是不是因为时间缩短？
第四，调查的方法是什么？它是否能够保证所有的意愿能正确地表达？样本数是多少，它能保证多高的覆盖面？
185
s
The passage only tell us the pressure is adjusted to approximate 1/3 of its original while it did not tell us the time of flowing water. If the total use can not be changed, the method just means a long time of using water.
Can a few complains stands for all the attitude of the residents on the first floor? Or is the complain the way for these people to express their feelings? Since the investivation is not large enough for us to analysis the consuquence of event, further decision cannot be made jsut depend on the uncertain fact.
首先，如果用水量一定，压力的减小只能导致用时间的增加，因此我们不能确定总的水量是否减少。
其次，少量的投诉并不能代表所有一楼住户的意愿，可能住户会以别的方式来表达意见，而不是用投诉。因为没有一个足够大的调查，所以进一步的行动不能草率地进行。
22
s
First, the arguer unfairly establsih a realtion between the income and the will of purchasing high-priced houses.
Second, the arguer get the conclusion of building of high price simple based on the trend in the country not on the needs of the the market. And even the trend is unreliable because the local area may be differnt from the nation.
third, if more workers are employed, more wages have to be paid. Consider the increase the family, it will be a large cost. In this condition, how could the company get a higher profit than last year?
首先，工资上涨并不意味着人们追求在房子的欲望上涨。
其次，国家的数据同地方的数据不同，而且地方的需求也不一样。所以造什么样的房子要取决于地方的市场需要而不是模糊的趋势。
第三，如果雇佣更多的工人，那么要付更多的薪水，在目前家庭收入增加的情况下，所付给工人的钱也会增加，这样怎么保证企业的利润呢？
121
BO
The arguer commits a fallacy of after this, thereby because of this in assuming that the two-day retreated resulted in the improved proformance of the new employees.
Second, there is no evidence show that the experienced workers can benefits nothing from the retraining experience.The data of complaints can not represent of all the aspects.
Granted that all the training is helpful to the new emplopees, the arguer can not convince us that a double time of original traning can more contribute to their performance.
149
B
首先，把赛车公司同航空公司相比较是不的，他们本质的工作不相同。
其次，维修水平的提高与客户满意度的提高没有直接联系，并且与利润提高并没有关系。
156
S
1,培训是提高满意，培训后销售数量上升，不能说明有作用。也可能是产品好。
2.公司不同，不能认为培训会起到同样有效的作用。

79
EO+BO
1.培训可能是减少事故的原因。
2.尽管调查显示高收入的驾驶员驾车更安全，但没有证据证明这两者之间有必然的联系。
？？？？？？？？
102
B
1.YORKVILLE的变化在一家大航空公司选择其为航空枢纽之后，但没有证据表明其的变化由后者引起。
2我们和Y的地点不同，如果我们建立机场，那么会不会有别的航空公司选择我们做为航空枢纽？
3.调查讲的不清楚，因此不能做为我们分析的依据。
112
s+eo+s
1.航班延误不一定因机场过小，也可能是因为航空管制混乱。
2，如果建造机场，没有足够的证据证明不会对建成后的环境造成影响。

cicicamusUID: 2347182

ARGUMENT178 - The following appeared in the annual report from the president of the National Brush Company.

"In order to save money, we at the National Brush Company have decided to pay our employees for each brush they produce instead of for the time they spend producing brushes. We believe that this policy will lead to the production of more and better brushes, will allow us to reduce our staff size, and will enable the company factories to operate for fewer hours-resulting in savings on electricity and security costs. These changes will ensure that the best workers keep their jobs and that the company will earn a profit in the coming year."


In order to improve the profit of the National Brush Company (NBC), the president of company raises the way of changing the way of paying employees.(you mean "raises a police to change the way of paying employees"?) By considering several changes brought by the new policy, the target seems easy to get. However, there are some dubious assumptions in the passage, thus the result of the changing is susceptible.

First of all, paying the employees by each brush they produce might have a positive effect to the workers which possibly stimulates the passion of the workers to engage in their work more time a day. But, as far as(就说as?) the passage shows or by common sense, there is no sign of quality improvement.(这里最好再展开说,为什么质量得不到提高?)  The conclusion based on the assumption is therefore inconvincible. If the company take the advise, it could risk the lost of its client, now and potent ional, as a result of poor quality, which could possible happen.

Even if the quality still the same with earlier, if not even bad, the cost for security cannot be saved. From the assumption of the passage and the fact as far as we get, there is no casual relation between the security cost and the paying method.(第二点好象也不够,最好说出为什么没有因果联系的原因.实行新政策为什么不能提高安全性?有没有可能因为工人急于做更多刷子,反而会出现更多安全事故?)

Thirdly, now we assuming that all of the objects about the cost and be achieved. Will our opponent work as before? The best worker in our company can be paid much more than before while we also run the risk of losing them. Obviously, the experienced worker stay in the NBC as scheduled, what kind of method can be taken to guarantee that they will stay for ever? The rivals of NBC can provide a higher salary for them. Then what the result of reform in NBC is picking up the best workers and watching them enhance the strength of their rivals.(这段好象...我没有明白作者的意思,逻辑错误在哪里可否解释一下?:loveliness: )

In sum, the president has failed to provide adequate evidence to prove to support his claim that the new policy could serve to ensure the improving of profits for NBC. Even worse, if the advice is taken by NBC, then the company could run of risk of losing its market. If the policy is taken, the NBC needs more investigations and seriously estimate the risk it may face. Reform is necessary sometimes with enough evidence and reasonable way.

总结: 我觉得文章的问题就是反驳力度不够,好象就是自己明白了意思,但是就是表达不出来那种感觉(和我一样:loveliness: ) .提出了一个论点,读者正期待往下能看到作者的进一步论证时却戛然而止了. 建议还是要在语言上下工夫!我们一起加油哈!^^

persistforUID: 2283957

In order to improve the profit of the National Brush Company (NBC), the president of company raises the way of changing the way of paying employees.(you mean "raises a police to change the way of paying employees"?) By considering several changes brought by the new policy, the target seems easy to get. However, there are some dubious assumptions in the passage, thus the result of the changing is susceptible.

First of all, paying the employees by each brush they produce might have a positive effect to the workers which possibly stimulates the passion of the workers to engage in their work more time a day. But, as far as(就说as?) the passage shows or by common sense, there is no sign of quality improvement.(这里最好再展开说,为什么质量得不到提高?) (More likely, spurred by the new policy, workers are trying to pay more time in the production of the good and cutting down the time for necessary quality check which may finally have a negative effect on the company) The conclusion based on the assumption is therefore inconvincible. If the company take the advise, it could risk the lost of its client, now and potent ional, as a result of poor quality, which could possible happen.

Even if the quality still the same with earlier, if not even bad, the cost for security cannot be saved. From the assumption of the passage and the fact as far as we get, there is no casual relation between the security cost and the paying method.(第二点好象也不够,最好说出为什么没有因果联系的原因.实行新政策为什么不能提高安全性?有没有可能因为工人急于做更多刷子,反而会出现更多安全事故?)If the cost of the security caused by the number of workers, it is reasonable to get the conclusion as the speaker claims. If not, then not a single dollar will be saved because even the policy is carried, the assemble-line is now likely to change. Moreover, if more brushes are produced, more people will be needed for the security of the product; obviously, the NBC needs more warehoues and hence more people to watch them.

Thirdly, now we assuming that all of the objects about the cost and be achieved. Will our opponent work as before? The best worker in our company can be paid much more than before while we also run the risk of losing them. Obviously, the experienced worker stay in the NBC as scheduled, what kind of method can be taken to guarantee that they will stay for ever? The rivals of NBC can provide a higher salary for them. Then what the result of reform in NBC is picking up the best workers and watching them enhance the strength of our rivals.(这段好象...我没有明白作者的意思,逻辑错误在哪里可否解释一下?  )

In sum, the president has failed to provide adequate evidence to prove to support his claim that the new policy could serve to ensure the improving of profits for NBC. Even worse, if the advice is taken by NBC, then the company could run of risk of losing its market. If the policy is taken, the NBC needs more investigations and seriously estimate the risk it may face. Reform is necessary sometimes with enough evidence and reasonable way.

persistforUID: 2283957

辛苦了，非常感谢你的认真。
评述很到位，我写得太烂了，希望共同进步！！

cicicamusUID: 2347182

我又看了一遍你改后的,果然有进步啊!^^真棒! 不过你的ISSUE那篇我打不开,不知道怎么回事啊?:confused: