Issue51 【Chasing For "6" Score】第一次作业

木之灵景UID: 2427667

ISSUE51 - "Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student."

中文提纲：

1. 针对个人兴趣的教育有很多好处，很适合个人的发展。（advantages）
2. 但是要实现这样的教育太难了，有很多物质上无法达到的要求。(too ideal to achieve)

正文：

        I fundamentally agree with the author's view that unless specifically designed to meet each student's individual needs and interesting, education cannot be truly effective. However, different people have differing opinions, needs, characters, interests and different goals, so that it is hardly to satisfy everyone in education.
        Specifically designed educations are more proper to students studying with their personal characters. That is to say, a well organized education system will better serve students’ needs and interests. As a common sense we know that the interest is the best teacher for learning, thus different students can learn from their interests and needs and make fun of it, then what they achieved from what they really needs excites their interests in turns. For example, one who is interested in music and his major will is to be a pianist. When it comes to the old education system in which all students should learn the same knowledge whether you are good at it or not, the promising pianist would had to study the dull, abstractive mathematics or physics and at last said goodbye to his loved music in pains. While in a well designed education system that are specified to distinct needs of students, the student who are fund for music can learn what he like and it might be the case that as he is good at it, he can make a great success in music like Mozart or Chopin.
        Nevertheless, there are many problems to be overcome in creating such education system, which is carefully designed, as the author says, to meet the individual needs and interesting of each student. As the saying goes that there is no such thing as two same leaves in the world, individuals are different from each other. It is difficult to meet those differing needs and interests. Unless learning what have many in common like physics and mathematics, which are both need amount of calculations and deduction, the individuals will be never truly educated effectively as the author says. Take learning languages and chemistry instance, one need to memory a lot of words and grammars while the other should have much experiment in contract. Therefore, if make effective education system only via meeting each people’s interests and needs, we demand different device suit different subjects, such as labs for different experimental science, instruments for different sorts of music, and teachers who understand various knowledge. As a result, it will cost a lot of money and energy, which any country afford. Consequently, the author’s view is too idealistic to achieve.
       In sum, the author’s original idea seems beneficial and reasonably yet it is difficult to be realized in contemporary society. As long as each one has different needs and interests, the specifically designed to meet each student education cannot be truly effective. However, in base of the old education system which has students study same contents, I advise our education agency should make these challenges that the students study the same things at their certain ages, and after they growing, they can study what they are interested in at best.

[ 本帖最后由 木之灵景 于 2008-3-3 14:45 编辑 ]

棉花糖星星UID: 2324302

OH NO~我和你用了相同的两句谚语！！！

木之灵景UID: 2427667

原帖由 棉花糖星星 于 2008-3-3 15:25 发表
OH NO~我和你用了相同的两句谚语！！！

不会吧，这个会不会算雷同？？

棉花糖星星UID: 2324302

这里不让直接贴有颜色的字，上附件给你

[ 本帖最后由 棉花糖星星 于 2008-3-7 12:46 编辑 ]

fainting_robinUID: 2336582

"Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student."
1. 针对个人兴趣的教育有很多好处，很适合个人的发展。（advantages）
2. 但是要实现这样的教育太难了，有很多物质上无法达到的要求。(too ideal to achieve)
提纲层次看起来有点单薄，而且一正一反哪面是重点？POSITION是否明确？看看你具体展开如何。
I fundamentally agree with the author's view that unless specifically designed to meet each student's individual needs and interesting, education cannot be truly effective. However, different people have differing opinions, needs, characters, interests and different goals, so that it is hardly to satisfy everyone in education.（用however的话，一般来说转折之后是重点。）
Specifically designed educations are more proper to students studying with their personal characters. （我觉得该句表述有问题，studying with的是课程，而不是性格。我明白你的想表达的意思，但我也不知道如何写确切，给出一个近似的说法供参考吧Educations designed for different individuals are more effective。）That is to say, a well organized education system will better serve every student’s needs and interests. As a common sense we know that the interest is the best teacher (建议换成motive) for learning, thus different students can learn from their interests and needs and make fun of it,（delete） then what they achieved from what they really needs excites their interests in turns.(觉得表述有点生硬，自己尝试修改看看？) For example, one who is interested in symphony and his major will is to be a pianist.（钢琴家似乎不能称为专业，就像专业是物理学而不是物理学家，而且句子结构不对may choose classical music as his major）When it comes to the old（Out-dated）education system in which all students should （have to） learn the same knowledge whether you are good at it or not, the promising pianist（相应改成musician） would had to study the dull, abstractive mathematics or physics and at last said goodbye to his loved music in pains. While in a well designed education system that are specified to distinct needs of students, the student who are fund for music can learn what he like and it might be the case that as he is good at it, he can make a great success in music like Mozart or Chopin. 我发现从例子到论证是一个坎，不仅我，很多GTER都没有跨过去，甚至可能没有真正意识到有这个坎存在。建议去找GRE作文精华区 » [0706G AW总结系列活动][高分考生访谈专题] 专访板油Laurie记录，有她的习作下载，她的例子很简洁，但是论证很充分，可以学习。
Nevertheless, there are many problems to be overcome in creating such education system, which is carefully designed, as the author says, to meet the individual needs and interesting of each student. As the saying goes that there is no such thing as two same leaves in the world, individuals are different from each other. It is difficult to meet those differing needs and interests. Unless learning what have many in common like physics and mathematics, which are both need amount of calculations and deduction, the individuals will be never truly educated effectively as the author says. Take learning languages and chemistry instance, one need to memory a lot of words and grammars while the other should have much experiment in contract. Therefore, if make effective education system only via meeting each people’s interests and needs, we demand different device suit different subjects, such as labs for different experimental science, instruments for different sorts of music, and teachers who understand various knowledge. As a result, it will cost a lot of money and energy, which any country afford. Consequently, the author’s view is too idealistic to achieve.
In sum, the author’s original idea seems beneficial and reasonably yet it is difficult to be realized in contemporary society. As long as each one has different needs and interests, the specifically designed to meet each student education cannot be truly effective. However, in base of the old education system which has students study same contents, I advise our education agency should make these challenges that the students study the same things at their certain ages, and after they growing, they can study what they are interested in at best.
下面纯属个人看法，可能是有益的建议，也可能是非故意的误导，作者自己斟酌采纳。
1．最大的问题，态度不明确。你的确在最后给出了自己的建议，但是你通篇的论述并不是直接证明这个建议的有效性，而是如你提纲般说明了两点，有好处，难实现，但是没有整合而给出一个态度。ETS说的是你采取何种POSITION无所谓，但是本文在我看来是完全没有POSITION。一正一负几乎同样比重，你至少最后要说一句call for the balance between them.才算给出态度阿。并且如果可以的话，加一段内容具体阐述你最后那点建议会比较好。
总之，全文太单薄，思路也简单，虽然教育类的文章不容易出彩，但是希望能够在列提纲上下下功夫。
第一次ISSUE很艰难，我不想鼓励你，我只想让你意识到自己还有很多事情要抓紧做起来，比如语言的积累。坚持每天看一点原文（=-=虽然我自己还没做到。。）
觉得拖欠你太久，所以砖砸得特别狠，但是不要误解我对你友善的态度阿~~~~~~