Issue51 【Chasing For "6" Score】第一次作业

棉花糖星星UID: 2324302

ISSUE 51
折腾了我一天的第一篇完整ISSUE。。。:vomit:
提纲：
1, 探讨教育是否有效前，先弄清教育的最终目的（个人&社会层面）
2，教育之于个人是获得知识技能了解未知的途径，个性化教育对个人有益??提升学习兴趣，效率增加&避免在无用的课程上浪费时间
3,  教育之于社会是为社会培育需要的人才，全面个性化教育是不实际的??造成部分岗位缺乏人才，部分又爆满&基础技能教育可以统一以节省人力物力

结论：须在社会和个人的需求间寻找教育的平衡点，达到双赢局面。


How can the education be truly effective? The speaker asserted that it should be specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of the student. I agree with the speaker insofar education can be more effective when specifically designed for someone, yet we should also concede that it is impractical to do so for everyone in our society. While this statement remains controversial, from my perspective, however, knowing what is the final objective of education should make more sense to begin with, whether at the personal, or social level.

Education, considered as the primary means for one to gain knowledge in common sense, has major significance in one’s life, since we always acquire the essential ability to live in a society and the explanation of things unknown. There are two compelling reasons for specifically designing education with one’s needs as follows.

The first has to do with the variety of people. As the proverb says, “no two leaves in the world can be identical”, different characteristic and interests make each of us an unique individual. Understandably, specifically designed curriculum in accordance with our own needs should no doubt enhance our motive to learn and make eduction extremely effective, as we all know that “Interest is the best teacher”. The second reason for my agreement with the speaker is that selective courses  can be more economical with respect to saving time, since we can avoid wasting time in useless lesson wile this lesson may be meaningful to others. Having considerable merits mentioned above, no wonder personalizing education of the children has become a trend nowadays.

When it comes to the social level, nevertheless, whether specifically designed education can be effective is open to question. The function of education when considering with the merit of the society, or even a country, is to foster qualified personnel who can provide intellectual support to the society, that is, we should also designed the eduction by the demand of the society as a whole as well as by personal needs and interest.

Of course that a specifically educated individual would better service the public, yet not every specifically educated one is exactly what the society needs. For providing example, we need look no further than the want advertisements in a newspaper, certain kinds of talents are always inadequate meanwhile a host of talents of other major hardly find any relevant job offered. In addition, it is a fact that specified eduction for every one in the society is far beyond our ability. The schools must employ a multitude of teachers in order to meet every interest of the students in that some of the students may have interest in some arcane fields of study. In fact, in my observation, the learning of most of the essential ability such as language ability and mathematical ability can be unified for preventing from the squander of the manpower.  

In conclusion, whether the eduction is truly effective decided on both the merits of the individual and the whole society, where a right balance between both sides should be found out first. Accordingly, specifically designed eduction should be undertook cautiously, after all, a win-win situation in which both the individual and the society can develop most is what we are chasing for, and also the final objective of the education.

[ 本帖最后由 棉花糖星星 于 2008-3-3 18:39 编辑 ]

fainting_robinUID: 2336582

Issue51棉花糖
How can the education be truly effective? The speaker asserted that it should be specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of the student. I agree with the speaker insofar education can be more effective when specifically designed for someone, yet we should [must] also concede that it is impractical to do so for everyone in our society. While this statement remains controversial, from my perspective, however, knowing what is the final objective of education should make more sense to begin with, whether at the personal, or social level. [这个句子杂糅的有点意义模糊了我尝试改改，不好请见谅。From my perspective, a discussion about the final objective of education, whether at he personal level or social level, makes more sense to begin with.]Education, considered as the primary means for one to gain knowledge in common sense, has major significance in one’s life, since we always acquire the essential ability to live in a society and the explanation of things unknown. There are two compelling reasons for specifically designing education with one’s needs as follows. [这段有点薄弱，建议集中讲the final goal]The first has to do with the variety of people. As the proverb says, “no two leaves in the world can be identical”, different characteristic and interests make each of us an[a] unique individual. Understandably, specifically designed curriculum in accordance with our own needs should [would] no doubt enhance our motive to learn and make education extremely effective, as we all know that “Interest is the best teacher”. The second reason for my agreement with the speaker[去掉] is that selective courses  can be more economical with respect to saving time, since we can avoid wasting time in useless lesson wile this lesson may be meaningful to others.[这里最好再展开说具体点，举个例子] Having considerable merits mentioned above, no wonder personalizing education of the children has become a trend nowadays. When it comes to the social level, nevertheless, whether specifically designed education can be effective is open to question. The function of education when considering with the merit of the society, or even a country, is to foster qualified personnel who can provide intellectual support to the society, that is, we should also designed the education by the demand of the society as a whole as well as by personal needs and interest. Of course that a specifically educated individual would better service the public, yet not every specifically educated one is exactly what the society needs. For providing example, we need look no further than the want advertisements in a newspaper, certain kinds of talents are always inadequate meanwhile a host of talents of other major hardly find any relevant job offered. In addition, it is a fact that specified education for every one in the society is far beyond our ability. The schools must employ a multitude of teachers in order to meet every interest of the students in that some of the students may have interest in some arcane fields of study. In fact, in my observation, the learning of most of the essential ability such as language ability and mathematical ability can be unified for preventing from the squander of the manpower.  In conclusion, whether the education is truly effective decided on both the merits of the individual and the whole society, where a right balance between both sides should be found out first. Accordingly, specifically designed education should be undertook cautiously, after all, a win-win situation in which both the individual and the society can develop most is what we are chasing for, and also the final objective of the education. (如果可能，你最好给出一点如何达到WIN-WIN SITUATION的建议，另外，其实你可以把教育的不同阶段考虑进去与个人/社会曾面结合起来)
最后，因为这是你的第一篇ISSUE，所以我要表扬你，感觉困难是正常的，我也感觉很困难。。。但是我要提醒你，AW是限时写作，你的考期已经不远，尽快进入状态没，缩短写作时间哈。
我=

scentyUID: 2363244

太大了啦。。亲爱的，编辑编辑。

scentyUID: 2363244

How can the education be truly effective? The speaker asserted that it should be specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of the student. I agree with the speaker insofar[as] education can be more effective when specifically designed for someone, yet we should also concede[admitte] that it is impractical to do so for everyone in our society. While this statement remains controversial, from my perspective, however, knowing what is the final objective of education should make more sense to begin with, whether at the personal, or social level.[我觉得你的总结句很明确，开头概括好]

Education, considered as the primary means for one to gain knowledge in common sense, has major significance in one’s life, since we always acquire the essential ability to live in a society and the explanation of things unknown. There are two compelling reasons for specifically designing education with one’s needs as follows.

The first has to do with the variety of people. As the proverb says, “No two leaves in the world can be identical”, different characteristic and interests make each of us an unique individual. Understandably, specifically designed curriculum in accordance with our own needs should [换成would]no doubt enhance our motive[motivation] to learn and make eduction extremely effective, as we all know that “Interest is the best teacher”. The second reason for my agreement with the speaker is that selective courses  can be more economical with respect to saving time, since we can avoid wasting time in useless lesson wile[while]this lesson may be meaningful to others. Having considerable merits mentioned above, no wonder personalizing education of the children[children is ur target group?我觉得这个trend可以作为你论述的例证而不是结论，而且你上面说的教育是泛泛的，而不是针对children的primary education。] has become a trend nowadays.

When it comes to the social level, nevertheless, whether specifically designed education can be effective is open to question. The function of education when considering with the merit of the society, or even a country, is to foster qualified personnel who can provide intellectual support to the society, that is, we should also designed[design] the eduction by the demand of the society as a whole as well as by personal needs and interest. [上两段都没有展开呀，泛泛的说不如用恰当的例子。比如社会方面说由于最近社会需要高科技人才，所以高校里的某些新兴专业热门之类，我举例也不一定好。]
Of course that a specifically educated individual would better service the public, yet not every specifically educated one is exactly what the society needs. For providing example, we need look no further than the want [wants of]advertisements in a newspaper[newspapers], certain kinds of talents are always inadequate meanwhile a host of talents of other major hardly find any relevant job offered. In addition, it is a fact that specified eduction for every one in the society is far beyond our ability. The schools must employ a multitude of teachers in order to meet every interest of the students in that some of the students may have interest in some arcane fields of study. In fact, in my observation, the learning of most of the essential ability such as language ability and mathematical ability can be unified for preventing from the squander of the manpower.  [可以上升大一些，不光是雇佣老师花钱，政府担负其他社会问题的同时要加大教育的拨款力度并不是那么容易的。]

In conclusion, whether the eduction is truly effective decided on both the merits of the individual and the whole society, where a right balance between both sides should be found out first. Accordingly, specifically designed eduction should be undertook cautiously, after all, a win-win situation in which both the individual and the society can develop most is what we are chasing for, and also the final objective of the education.
这篇作文我也痛苦了很久，所以可能改你的并不能提供很多帮助。但是总的来说我觉得你下结论比例子和推理要多，这样大概是不足为信的。