作文第三弹,求狠拍~

Sniper619UID: 2227152

如果有看过我的第二篇的话,请给个对比意见和评分.
谢谢大家,请多捧场,往死里拍,不要客气!(这几篇都超时写的).
祝福大家都有满意的成绩.
要互改的可以加我QQ:81398747,互相修改,有求必应.共同进步!


题目：交通杜塞是由那些原因造成的，说说你的解决方法？

To take a quick glance at the news column in any city newspaper, you are easily find some gossip about traffic jam. Even worse, this trend, in recent years, is increasingly frequency occurrence. Especial on rush hours in China which reminds many people who can’t help asking: What factors cause the traffic jam?

To begin with, I think the reasons for traffic jam are several, including appearing more and more cars in city, the old traffic system have not any rebuilt while facing such huge vehicles stream and so slowly dealing with accidents by authorities and etc. Now, let us focus on the two main respects.

With the amazingly speeding up of vehicle industry development, more and more people have their private car. So, it is not curious that comes the springing up of traffic jam anywhere which lavishes great amounts of precious time of people. A recent government survey demonstrates that the rate of increasing new private car’s owner is 237% per year. For another, the accidents are biggest cause for traffic jam. However, only traffic policemen have power can deal with in China. Such as this, the amounts of accidents, obviously, overwhelmingly outweighed the amounts of cases traffic policemen can take. Last but not least, the worse and older road condition and increasing illegal drive and etc. may cause traffic jam.

Nevertheless, those who claim the traffic jam is a curse may divert their complaint to the vehicles. For my part, although the traffic jam is so serious, even disastrous, there are both merits and defects of vehicles, what we should do is to exploit to the full content its favorable aspects and avoid unfavorable ones. Firstly, we can arrange the companies schedule to avoid the same time to go home. In another place, let more and more policemen and veteran residents participate in governing traffic. Third, government should squeeze budget to rebuild road which should be superior the increasing press of traffic.

All in all, although the traffic jam is so terrible, we should bravely face it and the way government should involve more money and energy in emolliating the traffic accommodations and people should reduce the illegal driving and go home at various time make the best way to get a better traffic condition.

bqianaUID: 193168

为什么不写点最近考过的雅思真题?

Sniper619UID: 2227152

哇~l老大回帖啊~太荣幸了!!
谢谢老大支持!!!
可否密个QQ号给我啊?
我这是照着一个作文书上的题目写的.自修室写了后腾过来的.
超时严重...
能给评个分吗?还有给点意见吧.

safinazhuangUID: 2432942

看出你很用心写，在尽量用高级词汇
但可能语法错误要改正

H-KevinUID: 2182070

作文互改活动:--TEAM WORK ,团队精神
希望作文修改的板油，最好不要等待别人主动给你修改，
建议你先修改论坛上别人的作文，然后把自己的作文链接留下给对方互改
如果你不愿意修改别人的作文，别人可能也有同样的想法
一份耕耘一份收获，强调互改，互相学习
寸有所长，尺有所短。不要顾忌自己水平低