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我在WORD用修订改的，改过之后颜色仍然变回了黑色，只有我标注的比较好的词汇（向楼主学习的地方~~）显示了蓝色。所以看得不怎么醒目，不好意思。 Issue221 April小组第二周第4次作业 221"The chief benefit of the study of history is to break down the illusion that people in one period of time are significantly different from people who lived at any other time in history."
提纲：肯定历史研究的结果表明人类在某些本质上自古以来一直都是一致的；但现代人已经与古人在很多方面有了不同，比如生活方式上。而且在历史悠久的国家，我们通过学习历史还有诸多其他的有益之处。人类的某些本质并没有随时间而变化，比如贪婪、虚荣等；而不同时代人们所生存的社会往往都面临一些同样的问题，如贫困、饥饿、战争、环境污染等。但我们现在所生活的社会已经与前人又很大不同，科技所带来的进步…
我们从历史中还学到很多更有用的东西：如历史教会我们人类一些珍贵的品质，坚强，勇敢；Beethoven, Gandhi.
历史让我们从前人所犯的错误中学到有用的东西，如纳粹极端主义。
To learn that people live in one period has share some common characters with the ancestors in human nature is one of the benefit that could be gained by studying the history, I basically agree with this notion. However, beside this, I would rather to insist that we are also different from our ancestors in other aspects with the development of the scientific technology as well as social evolution. What’s more, the studying of history also have many more benefits in other aspects.（这种开头方式比较好，观点鲜明，表达流畅。）
The human nature has not changed much with the flowing time（此处好）; we may share the same desires and motives, as well as the samefoibles, such as the desire for a better life when we do not worry about the survival problem anymore, the greedy, vanity and evil characters lurk in the nature of our human body, slightly or severely. We also face the same social problems with the people lived at any other time of the history, for example, each society has violence and criminals, even the democratic and freedom society with more complete legislation system as we live now could not get rid of these problems basically; poverty and war are another puzzles that trouble every society since the stemming of human nature（这个表达不确定？stem本身是名词，作动词是滋生、阻止的意思；有stem from the human nature 的表达）. Thus, （the去掉，the history 当通史讲） history tell us we should keep fighting with the foibles in our human nature in a more objective attitude, learning to be a more cultured（建议用cultivated） people. Through the studying（study） of history, we could be alertness to the common social problems that exists, and learning how to properly tackle them（ down去掉）, maybe we could not get rid of them, but we can at least improve the bad situation （that/ and） make the people live in our society more comfortable than before.
(此段前面表达很好，后面不及前面流畅。内容不错，结构不是非常鲜明)
The speaker ignores the facts that we are now live in an（a society? 缺了个名词） more different with our ancestors, both in the living conditions and lifestyles. With the development of scientific technology, we are now living in a more convenient and comfortable way, the cell phones makes us to contact instantly and effectively with people far way, the airplane and trains take us to a longer journey in a more comfortable way, the ipod enable us to appreciate a more fascinating music world, and so on. Although the technique brings us more benefits（这里没有强调比较的意思，感觉用many较准确，上面的用MORE。）, may also give birth to some side effects, such us the criminal in information era is more complicated than before and the damage maybe more serious(近severe), we are now producing more pollution to the environment with so many factories pouring out polluted water and cars emitting so much carbon dioxide to the air. （此处环境问题和历史的联系感觉有些牵强了，至少逻辑性不够强。虽然下句重新拉回了主题，但不连贯，不过环境问题的联系面比较广，大概是楼主准备的万能素材吧o(∩_∩)o…）Through studying history, we know that people live in any other time of the history will not experience these good things and newly come-up problems.
Another problem with the statement is that the speakers underscores other, equally or even more important benefits through studying history. The human nature and the society they live are keep developing with the time, one of the powers that motivate（若我则用driving forces of） the society to be better comes from our learning（understanding） about history. Through the study（ing） of great explorers, leaders and other prominent people in （the） history, we get the courage and wisdom to face the difficulties and conquer them. Beethoven, for example, however deaf, still created the magic music as the 9th symphony. Gandhi, the famous Indian political leader, after years of fighting through the anti-violence and non-cooperative activities have eventually freedom the Indian people from the colonial reign of England. In addition, learning about the failure that our ancestor had suffered, we could also make benefit through avoiding make the same mistakes. For instance, the Nazism take use of people’s extreme racialism as a tyrannical tool to the Judah, this convince us to be very careful about the resurgence of any theories or advocation relating with ultra nationalism.
（这一段的例子素材用得不错，语言也流畅）
To sum up, history not only tells us that how much we are the some with our ancestors in the human nature, but also the difference between the time we are now living and the other time our ancestors lived in the history. What’s more, we also benefit from studying history in learning about the good merits when facing the puzzles and the wisdom how our ancestors tackle them（down）. We can also accumulate the experience to done with the situation which may cause us to make mistakes again through the study（ing） of history.（结尾照应开头）
楼主水平相当不错，尤其是语言已经不成为障碍了，我翻过别的板油的作文，或多或少存在语言上的障碍，影响表达，在楼主这里，我看不到这点~~。其他方面也基本到位了。逻辑，结构，素材都准备得不错。不知道楼主是不是限时模考完成的全文。如果限时的原文和这个差别不大的话，我觉得楼主5分差不多了（个人感觉，不权威，呵呵~~）假如要更进一步，我想方向应该是：总结出个性比较鲜明，更醒目更有说服力的素材。
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发表于 2008-3-28 13:00:16
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