求改作文

番茄蛋汤UID: 2334335

帮着改下哦，不用太细了，主要说下存在的问题和估计下分哦。
谢谢
C2P92
In the resent years,a popular issue about women has been trigged thousands of citizens’ ateention .Depending on pesonal experiences and personality tpye ,I insist it is more available to make married women stay at home and look after their own baby.The figures and facators will be fallowed.

The first is simply a matter of money .Baced on the lastely survey from China Central Television (CCTV) ,they cite both quantitative and qualititative studies.More than 81.1% baby-sitters would cost 1000-2000 yuan        every month .Hence,a young couple may can not affort the payments. If the women can care her childen ,the cost could be cut .
Secondly ,considering the piont of psychology.A famous expert named Ferud believes the early childhood experiences play an significant role. Having a look around our world ,the examples are too numerous . Now,take my young sister as a case. My aunt left her in grandma’s home when she just 1 years old.After 3 years, the girl become shy and unconfidente,due to she always feel herself only lonely.What is more,she hates her monther very much.

The last but not the lerst ,nobody could fail to notice the
Education.It is clear that early education would make good effect on kids.It is not only wrting and taking ,but also creation and imagination .A person who gain good early education will be more successful.

All in all,concept of “unemployee and take babise”that I am in favour of,although I also realise how difficult it is to achieve sometimes.There are on easy and quick methods.On one hand,To solve the argument and more effective and efficiently ,it is fundamental that rules and regulations be worked out.One the other hand,residents should enhance their awareness of “women and job”.Only can we take these measurs,the bug will be finished off in the not too long distant furture.

wengzhangzzUID: 2326392

1.in recent years，the不要
2.attention，ateention。。。。拼错
3.make married women stay at home，怎么读怎么都觉得非常wierd。
4.The figures and facators will be fallowed.？
5.may can not affort ？
6.affort the payments？ afford。。。。。the expense
7.The first .....Secondly ,错，要么firstly，secondly，要么first，second
8.play an significant role？ 用an干吗？
9.Now,take my young sister as a case. My aunt left her in grandma’s home when she just 1 years old. my aunt前面应该是逗号，she was just 1 year old
10.the girl become shy and unconfidente,due to she always feel herself only lonely。became，due to后面不加句子的摆脱
11.Having a look around our world ,the examples are too numerous 。。。。chinglish
12.What is more,she hates her monther very much.太无语了，这种话都用上去了
13.The last but not the lerst 。least
14.make good effect on kids.have good effects on
看不下去了，这个错误太多了。

H-KevinUID: 2182070

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