Jack互改练习贴

Jack_JiUID：2340109

People attend college or university for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge). Why do you think people attend college or university? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Making a decision to attend college seems rather prevalent in our rapidly developed society. People from different area, including high school students, experienced manager and people who have already succeed in their professions tend to make attending college or university as their first choice. Attending college or university may get a better career preparation and increased their knowledge in a specific area.

Get better career preparation may be among the various factors that affects people's decision to go to college and university. A specific college degree not only presents one's ability to be qualified for the job, it also gives an implication that the degree holders have succeed in this area, at least they obtained a college degree. Take the Computer Science degree for example, degree holders with this degree can not only be qualified for the high-tech firms, they also can be competitive for the job with computer skills as a prerequisite. Numerous cases have shown that applicants with a college degree are more likely to be identified as competency and get job offers.

Students from high school may want to increase their knowledge to attend college. Knowledge learned from high school hardly can meet the needs of the society which demands more specialization. College offers a good chance for the student to increase their knowledge and gives  a clear path towards profession. For example, students who learned Genetics in the university can enter to a lab after graduation and most labs such as genetic lab always require at least a college degree in the biology. College degree give people an opportunity to increase their knowledge and therefore be more specialized in one area.

Finally, some people decide to go to university for gaining new experiences. Going to a college, for most high school students, is a good chance for them to be independent and serves as a entrance to be a real adult. Students in the college may meet different people and ideas. Through the comparison of the new things in the college and the old things in their hometown, some seemingly mundane food and culture are suddenly new again in the context of radically new circumstances. Learning through different viewpoints, students can make a better assessment of themselves and make decisions by themselves.

[ 本帖最后由 Jack_Ji 于 2008-4-24 10:13 编辑 ]

kenmyUID：2464798

Heard about that a new high school might be built in our community, I feel delighted, and I wholeheartedly support this brilliant idea. Since there are only 3 high schools in our community, which can not afford to admit all or even most of adolescences in our community, a new high school seems very important to our community’s development.
     As everybody knows, high school education is very essential for everyone. First of all, it’s the best and easiest way to go to college, for you can devote all your time into study in high school, you have a lot of time to prepare for the entrance exam for college. Secondly, the knowledge learned from high school is really valuable, they are all fundamental knowledge for every subject, like mathematics, chemistry, physics, biology, history, on one hand, these knowledge can build a good fundament for your college studying, on the other hand, it’s also good for you for your future development no matter what career you take.
Although everybody knows the importance, there are only a few students can go to our community’s high school. Because the only 3 high school can not hold 30000 students at the right age of high school, there are only a few fortune students can go to these 3 high school. Some people take no choice but go to other areas for schooling, which has a lot of disadvantages. For example, they has to be far away from home to take care of themselves alone, they will feel lonely, they must handle everything on their own which is difficult for such young people, and they must spend much time on traveling from home and school, which is a totally waste. Also , they live so far away from home, for some people , they can gradually learn to how to be independent, somehow, there also exist some people , they are not good at controlling themselves without parents’ supervision, they might be obsessed at computer games, and learned something that high school students should not master. If a new high school is built in our community, many of these problems can be solved.
All that mentioned above is just about the students who go away for study, in our community, for the sake of limited number of high school, some students don’t go to school anymore. Some of them chased for low-salary job. And sadder thing is that many unemployed youth might be tempted to do commit crime for life, like stealing, robbing, and selling drugs, Which is harmful to the development of both young people and community.
For the reasons that mentioned above, building a new high school is beneficial to our community, it can rise the average educational level of our community, help the youth’s development, that equals our society’s development.

kenmyUID：2464798

People attend college or university for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge). Why do you think people attend college or university? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Making a decision to attend college seems rather prevalent in our rapidly developed society. People from different area, including high school students, experienced manager （名次不可能这样存在的，要么加冠词，要么复数）and people who have already succeed （过去分词）in their professions tend to make attending college or university as their first choice. Attending college or university may get a better career preparation and increased（may后面的两个动词是并列的，原形！） their knowledge in a specific area.

Get （getting）better career preparation may be among the various factors that affects（原形） people's decision to go to college and university. A specific college degree not only presents one's ability to be qualified for the job, it also gives an implication that the degree holders have succeed in this area, at least they obtained a college degree. Take the Computer Science degree for example, degree holders with this degree can not only be qualified for the high-tech firms, they also can be competitive for the job with computer skills as a prerequisite. Numerous cases have shown that applicants with a college degree are more likely to be identified as competency and get job offers.

Students from high school may want to increase their knowledge to attend college. Knowledge learned from high school hardly can meet the needs of the society which demands more specialization. College offers a good chance for the student to increase their knowledge and gives  a clear path towards profession. For example, students who learned Genetics in the university can enter to（不要吧） a lab after graduation and most labs such as genetic lab always require at least a college degree in the（不要吧） biology. College degree gives people an opportunity to increase their knowledge and therefore be more specialized in one area.

Finally, some people decide to go to university for gaining new experiences. Going to a college, for most high school students, is a good chance for them to be independent and serves as a entrance to be a real adult. Students in the college may meet different people and ideas. Through the comparison of the new things in the college and the old things in their hometown, some seemingly mundane food and culture are suddenly new again in the context of radically new circumstances. Learning through different viewpoints, students can make a better assessment of themselves and make decisions by themselves。

Jack_JiUID：2340109

30. It has recently been announced that a new high school may be built in your community. Do you support or oppose this plan? Why? Use specific reasons and details in your answer.

Heard about that a new high school might be built in our community, I feel delighted, and I wholeheartedly support this brilliant idea. Since there are only 3 high schools in our community, which can not afford to admit all or even most of adolescences in our community(感觉afford to admit不大合适，改成：which can not make all or even most of adolescences available to high school education in our community), a new high school seems very important to our community’s development.

As everybody knows, high school education is very essential for everyone. First of all, it’s the best and easiest way to go to college, for you can devote all your time into study in high school, you have a lot of time to prepare for the entrance exam for college. Secondly, the knowledge learned from high school is really valuable, they are all fundamental knowledge for every subject, like mathematics, chemistry, physics, biology, history, on one hand, these knowledge can build a good fundament for your college studying, on the other hand, it’s also good for you(for you删除) for your future development no matter what career you (will)take.
Although everybody knows the importance, there are only a few students can go to our community’s high school. Because the only 3 high school can not hold 30000 students at the right age of high school, there are only a few fortune students can go to these 3 high school(schools). Some people take no choice but go to other areas for schooling, which has a lot of disadvantages. For example, they has to be far away from home to take care of themselves alone, they will feel lonely, they must handle everything on their own which is difficult for such young people, and they must spend much time on traveling from home and school, which is a totally waste. Also , they live so far away from home, for some people , they can gradually learn to how to be independent, somehow, there also exist some people , they are not good at controlling themselves without parents’ supervision, they might be obsessed at computer games, and learned something that high school students should not master. If a new high school is built in our community, many of these problems can be solved.
(一般用all that mentioned above都在结尾，这里可以换个其他的过渡词比如说，simply put)All that mentioned above is just about the students who go away for study, in our community, for the sake of limited number of high school, some students don’t go to school anymore(will not have the chance to go to school anymore). Some of them chased for low-salary job. And sadder thing is that many unemployed youth might be tempted to do commit crime for life, like stealing, robbing, and selling drugs, Which is harmful to the development of both young people and community.
For the reasons that mentioned above, building a new high school is beneficial to our community, it can rise the average educational level of our community, help the youth’s development, that equals our society’s development.

文章思路很清晰，可以看出来基础不错哦~~而且字数也冲到了470多，真是望之莫及，还得向你学习。

但是文章感觉论证的比较单一：你的社区需要提高教育水平让更多的孩子上学，所以建设高中是十分必要的。其实也可以谈谈建设高中对当地经济的影响，再者也可以谈谈建设高中的缺点，这样可能显得饱满一些。

[ 本帖最后由 Jack_Ji 于 2008-4-23 15:34 编辑 ]

hyacinthUID：2184492

互相交流作文很好啊  ;d:

Jack_JiUID：2340109

Topic 18.
What are some important qualities of a good boss? Use specific details and examples to  
explain why these qualities are important.

In the increasingly competitive market, good boss is very crucial to a company to compete  
with other firms. In my point of view, a good boss should possess critical thinking, a  
sense of humor and awareness of cooperation.

First of all, critical thinking is very important for a good boss. Thinking critically, one  
is capable of analyzing insightfully the situation the company faced, concentrating on the  
right target of companies, thereby making a wise decision. Both the employees and employers  
live in a world where controversial issues that are often simply taken for granted. For  
example, a boss may encounter with the decision of making an investment. It is very hard for  
the boss to make this decision decisively for the reason that in most cases the  
circumstances and implications of this decision are rather complex. Therefore, a critical  
thinking is needed to help the boss analyze the synthesize the situation insightful and  
gather relevant information, efficiently and creatively sort through this information and  
come to reliable and trustworthy conclusions.

Moreover, awareness of cooperation should be instilled to a good boss. Nowadays, too much  
emphasis was placed on the employees. A good boss, to a large extent, should be aware of  
the importance of cooperation. More often than not, a team can achieve much more extensive  
scope than an individual can, because one has less strength than many have. Therefore, the  
boss of a group should behave in cooperation with his or her subordinates in order to set a  
good example for all the employees more or less would unconsciously or subconsciously copy  
everything from their boss.

Finally, a good boss should have a sense of humor. A sense of humor would ease the sorrow  
and stress in the work place. Sometimes a good boss should tell some jokes to relieve the  
employees' pressure. A relax atmosphere would almost improve the whole efficiency. For  
example, sometimes employers need to work longer to complete a big project before the  
coming deadline. Then, a good boss should play some jokes even may invite all the stuff to  
have a meal together in order to improve the whole efficiency.

To sum up, a good boss in the company should always think critically in order to analyze  
the situation of the company and place greater importance on the teamwork rather the  
ability of an individual. What's more, a sense of humor for the boss is also another way to  
improve the whole efficiency of the company.

十字路口UID：2339345

Some people think that parents should plan their children’s leisure time carefully. Other people believe children should decide for themselves how to spend their free time. Which idea do you agree with? Give reasons for your choice.
   Upon to the question that which is better, parents plan their children’s free time or children decide for themselves,people have different opinion about it .Parents planing free time for children has its advantage,but at the mean time,it has many disadvantages, too.In my point of view,I would prefer children deciding what to do in free time.There are many instances supporting my view.
  First , I could take children’s daily lives in our country as examples.They study for about 8hours every day from Monday to Friday,and their homework accounts for two or three hours every day.Except for time for meal and sleep,little time is left for other purposes. Also some students take some training courses even at weekends.Thus ,they hardly have time for their own interest. As a child , his life is supposed to be meaningful and beautiful .Such a dull life is harmful to development of a child. Clearly ,chidren should decide how to spend their free time.
  In addition, it’s beneficial to children’s development to let them arrange their time.Parents are supposed to foster children’s ability to depend on themselves in early age.Such abilities include the one to arrange their time efficiently.In China ,parents get used to arrange everything for their children.Children don’t know what to do when they don’t get instructions.For example,students have a lot of free time in university,but they don’t know how to plan time ,just because nobody tells them how to.So many of them spend time either on computer games or study,which has negatively effects on their future.Therefore ,children should form a good habit of arranging time reasonally,which is important for them,because they need to finish jobs in limited time in future.
  In fact ,children would use free time planned by themselves as well as one planned by parents,if not better than.It is known to all that one is willing to do something he is interested in. On the contrary, he would walk through things he thinks annoying. Sometimes parents arrange children to do what they think important,but ignore children’s interest. This choice parents regard as good one actually doesn’t bring benefit as expected.Though children would make mistakes if they decide what to do in free time,it would still be a good idea if parents engage in the plan a little.
Finally ,the point I’m trying to make is that it is beneficial for children to plan their free time conditionally. This not only foster their independence but lighten parents’ stress .

Jack_JiUID：2340109

我会尽快帮你修改好的

Jack_JiUID：2340109

how to spend their free time. Which idea do you agree with? Give reasons for your choice.

   Upon to the question that which is better, parents plan their children’s free time or children decide for themselves, people have different opinion(opinions) about it .Parents planing(planning) free time for children has its advantage, but at the mean (same mean我不知道这样用可以不) time, it has many disadvantages, too(删除，前面有用at the same time). In my point of view, I would prefer children deciding what to do in free time. There are many instances supporting my view.
  First , I could take children’s daily lives in our country as examples. They study for about 8 hours every day from Monday to Friday, and their homework accounts for two or three hours every day. Except for （删除）time for meal and sleep, little time is left for other purposes（这里表达有问题,little time is left for children to do other meaningful things）. Also some students take some training courses even at weekends. Thus ,they hardly have time for their own interest. As a child , his life is supposed to be meaningful and beautiful .Such a dull life is harmful to development of a child. Clearly ,chidren (children)should decide how to spend their free time.
  In addition, it’s beneficial to(for) children’s development to let them arrange their time. Parents are supposed to foster(improve) children’s ability to depend on themselves in early age. Such abilities include the one to arrange their time efficiently. In China ,parents get used to arrange everything for their children. Children don’t know what to do when they don’t get instructions. For example, students have a lot of free time in university, but they don’t know how to plan time ,just because nobody tells them how to. So many of them spend time either on computer games or study, which has negatively effects on their future. Therefore ,children should form a good habit of arranging time reasonally(reasonably) which is important for them, because they need to finish jobs in limited time in future.
  In fact ,children would use free time planned by themselves as well as one planned by parents, if not better than. It is known to all that one is willing to do something he is interested in. On the contrary, he would walk through things he thinks annoying. Sometimes parents arrange children to do what they think important, but ignore children’s interest. This choice parents regard as good one actually doesn’t bring benefit as expected. Though children would make mistakes if they decide what to do in free time, it would still be a good idea if parents engage in the plan a little.
Finally ,the point I’m trying to make is that it is beneficial for children to plan their free time conditionally. This not only foster their independence but lighten parents’ stress .


文章总体思路还是比较清晰，第一段就阐明了要用大量的实例来证明你的观点，而且实例都是我们身边的例子，感觉比较贴切，过渡也比较自然。美中不足就是句型结构有点单一，论证广度不大够。整体来说很不错了：）

[ 本帖最后由 Jack_Ji 于 2008-4-26 18:31 编辑 ]

Jack_JiUID：2340109

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents or other adult relatives should make important decisions for their older teenage children. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

In the modern society, decisions for people are more and more difficult to make especially for the older teenage children with less experience and knowledge. But it does not mean that parents should make important decisions on  their older teenage children's behalf. Nevertheless, they are supposed to take a active role in the decision-making process of their children.

Important decisions for the older teenage are that will have significant consequences and ever-lasting impact on their life and sometimes it is hard for them to make decisions for the circumstances and implication of the decision are rather complex. So, it is wise for parents to offer some suggestions to their children for they have more knowledge and experience. Furthermore, parents have the responsibility to cultivate their offspring in a moderate way by offering advices. For example, when a high school students are ready to enter a university, parents should offer some advices for their children in order to choose a suitable university and major.

Seeking advice from parents is also very helpful for the children, especially when they confer with their parents who have already faced the same problems. Parents who have experienced the same problems will help their children analyze the situation insightfully. Through comparison of the viewpoints from their parents, children will make best assessment of his or her situation and therefore make a wise decision. For example, when I was a teenager, I faced a lot of problems such as how to get along well with people with strange belief, my father told me that what seems outlandish today may become widely accepted a century, a decade or even a year later and in order to get along well with people with strange belief, one should get open-minded and receive different viewpoints.

However, parents should not make decision on their children's behalf. If children get used to walking in the prearranged direction designed by their parents, their abilities to make decisions independently will totally be destroyed. Children's future, like every generation, are filled with uncertainty. Neither can parents tell everything to their offspring, nor can parents make every important decision for children. Parents should deliberately develop their older teenage children's ability to take full responsibility of their decision and make it themselves.

十字路口UID：2339345

your opinion is parents should help make important decisions for older teenagers,and your second and third paragraph support parents should help them make a decision,the fourth supports parents should not make decisions for them.你是采取中立的观点,对吧,这样好吗?

Jack_JiUID：2340109

我觉得不是中立的观点：1 2 3段都是说明家长应该帮助孩子做重要的决定，4段说的是 最终做决定的还是孩子自己，家长始终做只是帮助的作用。:handshake
不过还是很感谢你的建议

yq_112397UID：2286548

People attend college or university for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge). Why do you think people attend college or university? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Making a decision to attend college seems rather prevalent(这词用这不好) in our rapidly developed society. People from different area, including high school students, experienced manager and people who have already succeed in their professions tend to make attending college or university as their first choice. Attending college or university may get a better career preparation and increase（去D）their knowledge in a specific area.（作者思路很开阔，居然想到除高中生外的人想进大学，这种非正统方式。。。但我觉得这样想反而偏了，使得后面不好写）Get better career preparation may be among the various factors that affects people's decision to go to college and university. A specific college degree not only presents one's ability to be qualified for the job, it also gives an implication that the degree holders have succeed in this area, at least they obtained a college degree. Take the Computer Science degree for example, degree holders with this degree can not only be qualified for the high-tech firms, they also can be competitive for the job with computer skills as a prerequisite. Numerous cases have shown that applicants with a college degree are more likely to be identified as competency and get job offers.Students from high school may want to increase their knowledge to attend college. Knowledge learned from high school hardly can meet the needs of the society which demands more specialization. College offers a good chance for the student to increase their knowledge and gives  a clear path towards profession. For example, students who learned Genetics in the university can enter to a lab after graduation and most labs such as genetic lab always require at least a college degree in the biology. College degree give people an opportunity to increase their knowledge and therefore be more specialized in one area. Finally, some people decide to go to university for gaining new experiences. Going to a college, for most high school students, is a good chance for them to be independent and serves as a entrance to be a real adult. Students in the college may meet different people and ideas. Through the comparison of the new things in the college and the old things in their hometown, some seemingly mundane food and culture are suddenly new again in the context of radically new circumstances. Learning through different viewpoints, students can make a better assessment of themselves and make decisions by themselves.

看完第一、二段我就不想看下去了，原因是，从作者的字里行间可以看出写作的功底，建议不用再练作文了，加强其他部分吧。

Jack_JiUID：2340109

.....:confused: :confused:

Jack_JiUID：2340109

It is more important to work at a job that you enjoy than it is to earn a lot of money.
We live in a world that tend to make everyone into customs and therefore making more money.

More and more people thought that it is more important to work at a job which offered them  
opportunity to earn a lot money. However, money is not the only concern in people's live.  
In my point of view, a job that you enjoy will bring more things to you.

What the jobs offered people can not be constrained to the category that it brings you a  
lot of money, but have a wider scope. The ability of finishing a assignment is accepted  
by more and more people in the world as a proof of competence in the work place. When you  
finish the work assigned by your boss, you would become very happy and confident as you  
have proved your capacity in the work place. In the United States, many people work at job  
for nothing, they just enjoy the feeling of being competent in the work place.

People who get involved in the area they interested in are more likely to attain great  
achievement for they have more passion and ever-lasting motivation. There is a well known  
example which is very persuasive: Galileo was the first person who use telescope to study  
skies. His observation convinced him that it is the earth that revolved the sun which was  
thought claims of dangerous and unpopular minorities. It is his interest in this area that  
motivated him to continue his research. Without enjoyment of his job, he probable had given
up and he even couldn't achieve that great success.

Working at a job without enjoyment will be a tragedy, especially those who have suffered a  
lot in cities. "Burdensome" and "boring" are the common words that many white-collar  
describe their jobs. The only motivation for work is earning more and more money.
Therefore,  working at a job become a heavy stone that they have to carry everyday and of course, they  
have little passion and low the working efficiency which is thought to be a disaster to him or her and even the company.

To sum up, even if we have to face the reality of the life that we work at a job for money,
it is more important to work at a job that you enjoy. Not only will the enjoyment of a job make you
better off with less pressure, it also can bring you happiness and the feeling of  
competency.

这篇文章实在感觉没话说，感觉准备的还是不充分。希望版主给点建议。