我的作文，希望高手指点

satisfy123UID：2439982

Topic：whether we should choose someone who is similar to us or we should choose some one who is different with us to marry.
time：30min
conclusion: 相似的人更好

Marriage definitely is an important event as well as a huge commitment for everyone. Perhaps we all have been once confused about the question of whether it is better to marry someone who is similar to us rather than someone who is different, or vise versa. Some people hold the opinion that the ones who are different from us are more ideal mates in that people with different backdrops would be complementary. Personally, I assert that we should choose someone that is similar to us.

First, 2 people with lots of same points get along easily. It's true that the similar persons would have more topics in common, which makes it easy for them to communicate with each other. Like my parents, they have the same hobbies. They like the same dishes. They even like the same TV shows. So they always have the topic to talk about and there are seldom quarrel between them.

Second, it's undeniable that some couples with very different customs can get along fairly well as well. But psychology research shows that these "different" couples will become identical with each other little by little and after a period of several years the differences between them will almost disappear. It makes sense. Imagine two individuals: one likes quiet while the other likes crowd; one likes red yet the other likes black; one insists to save more money but the other enjoys shopping. How could the two make a couple successfully? There is only one way, to compromise, that is, to become the same. Therefore, I can not help asking that why not choosing a similar person at first?

From what have been discussed above, I assert that we should marry the ones who are similar to us for two definite reasons. First, similar peoples are easy to get along since they have more common topics yet fewer quarrels. Second, couples with different backgrounds have to compromise a lot until they become relatively similar.

satisfy123UID：2439982

topic： Letting a friend make a mistake is better than saying or doing
something which will destroy the friendship.【2】
结论： 不同意
words：370
未限时


While getting along with friends, more or less we all have met the
moment when we notice a friend made a mistake. It's really a dilemma
of choosing whether we should leave that alone or we should say or do
something. Some people hold the opinion that letting friends make
mistakes is better because they recognize that saying or doing
something may destroy the friendship. However, I can NOT agree this
point for two definite reasons.

According to what I saw and what I experienced, saying or doing
something for help on friends' mistakes will not destroy your
friendship. Moreover, with suitable manner, the relationship could be
improved. By letting your friend realize his mistake, you are actually
helping him to correct it. Even it may have been too late, at the
bottom line, he would never make the same mistake in future. I would
like to use my experience as an example, once my friend Yao had gone
to take an exam yet I found that he left his ID at dorm. On the phone,
I told him to stay put and I would bring him it as soon as possible.
It turned out that the exam was not interrupted at all and he had
never left anything behind since then.

Reversely, to keep silent on friends' mistakes is not only of no help,
but it can also be rather harmful to your friendship. Without anyone's
reminder, by the moment realize the mistake finally, he would blame
himself very much. In the mean time, he may think that his friends do
not help him enough or even do not care about him. This thought
certainly will alienate him from you. Suppose that I neither tell my
friend nor bring him the ID, he may fail to attend the exam as well as
I could feel guilty for not helping.

As far as I am concerned, I come to the notion that there are two main
reasons why I insist that we should say or do something when we
witness friends' mistakes. First, saying or doing something for help
can improve the relationship between you and them. Second, doing
nothing can hurt your friends and thus be harmful to your friendship.

satisfy123UID：2439982

6 Some people use Internet a lot to gain information, while others think using it will lead to problems. 【2】
words: 308
限时
conclusion: Internet improves our lives


In this modern society, as the Internet puts increasingly impact on people's daily life, the question of whether Internet will bring us a lot of information and convenience or it will just lead to problems becomes a prevalent topic and is undergoing serious debate. Personally, I would agree with the opinion that Internet has positive effect on our lives. There are three definite reasons to name.

One reason for my propensity for the idea that Internet has improved our life is that internet provides us with vast amount of information that can be collected quickly and used easily. And I can think of no better illusion than the fact that the internet search engine helps us solve lots of problems. Nowadays, when we run across some problem or jargon, there is no need to browse piles of books for the answer. Instead, just some simple search using Google, Yahoo or Wikipedia will show us exactly what to do.

The above is just part of the important aspects. Another one with even more significant lies in the development of the proposition that internet relates people more closely than ever before. This can be demonstrated by the fact that through email or instant message, we can reach every friend at ease. And by using the GIS, Geographic Information System, we can locate every corner on the earth.

It is true that internet also brings us some problems. For example, the computer viruses spread easily from peer to peer through internet; the online crimes are more difficult to track than the ordinary ones. Even though, these are preventable if we pay enough attention and use internet in an appropriate way.

If all factors are contemplated, it is no difficult for us to conclude that the advantages of internet far outweigh the drawbacks and we should hold a positive attitude towards internet.

hyacinthUID：2184492

文章一气呵成,elaboration也蛮到位的.很赞的英语功底和写作功底. ;)

那现在挑挑你文章的刺.
我觉得First ,second不是理想的过渡方式,能不用则不用.最好能有自己专属的表达.你上一篇文章我也有看过,没有用典型的三段结构,但是并没有影响到你的说理,反而让人觉得眼前一亮.因为那是你水平最原始的反应,而借鉴他人的模板其实削弱了你原来的那种风格.
此外,two people用得多一些,阿拉伯数字看上去总会觉得很奇怪啊.:o

希望你能保持你的originality,不要被通用模板污染了.;)

satisfy123UID：2439982

很感谢版主再次指点！
刚开始练习不限时写作的时候就慢慢琢磨，力求：有转折，有递进，有具体准确的例子。
可是一旦限时就比较紧迫，赶着写完了还难免有语法问题，一着急就开始上模板的句子了:(
我会考虑你的建议，继续改进;)