你愿意加入SAT作文互改互助小组吗？

深海lavenderUID: 2350207

鉴于最近版内有不少板油讨论SAT作文，发作文上来请求批改，也有板油提出希望能像T版一样提供修改作文的地方，版主们对大家的意见进行了认真的考虑。考虑到版内人手不够，版主们的学业也都非常繁重，难以照搬T版的模式，所以特此进行调查，希望在板油中组成SAT改作文互助小组。如果愿意加入互助小组的人数足够多，我们将尽快组织大家进行分组，互改SAT作文。
# G+ o; S; I1 j6 d
我们鼓励每天能抽出一点时间的同学报名参加互助小组，这样不但可以听取别人的建议，对自己的作文有更客观和全面的认识，便于有针对性地提高，也能在修改别人作文的同时借鉴其可取之处，用其不足之处提醒自己，时时反省自己有没有犯同样的毛病。同时，也能在版内形成良好的互助氛围，鼓励大家分享与交流，进一步使大家受益。:)

/ M, {, k: h! V8 I( `6 S" x投票将在10天内结束，请各位板油尽快投上你宝贵的一票！谢谢合作。
7 x9 A) n' F; S' D
[ 本帖最后由 深海lavender 于 2008-5-13 10:17 编辑 ]

冰棒汽水ECHOUID: 2289028

加入加入。。。。等待指导;d:

海上钢琴师1900UID: 2379482

非常愿意，深海前辈好人啊．．．希望大家踊跃参加吧

DSunshineUID: 2380759

我虽然写得不怎么地，还是很愿意找组织滴！
$ E+ u  ~8 b' |( q4 O3 d" ?不过我担心我提供的建议还没有我提供的文章多，虽然我会努力提供好的建议（如果有人想要的话）……所以说需要前辈们的指导嘛。

bus123UID: 2303169

我愿意，只是暂时还在准备2.

vanessa20UID: 2479494

加入！！！！！！！！;d: ;d: ;d:

海上钢琴师1900UID: 2379482

自己觉得还行;d: ，不过例子的议论还是做得不够好，不知道大家有没有什么建议关于例子后面的议论？谢谢
OG No.6
2008.5.4
Assignment: Is the world changing for better?
Though there are hundreds of thousands of people complaining about the environment worsening, salary falling, moral collapsing, and democracy losing, which are situations I take leave to doubt, I firmly believe that the world is going onto something good.
2 x5 _) r8 c/ ~4 ^% b$ M+ fLet us just take a look at the World War II, which was, as we all know, the most tragic page of the human history. On December 7, 1941, in an attempt to destroy American navy force in the Pacific, Japanese planes bombed the United States navy base in Pearl Harbor, sweeping nearly two hundred aircrafts, eight battleships, three cruisers, and three destroyers. Over 2,400 Americans died in this infernal morning. Likewise, on June 6, 1944, known as D-Day, Ally force landed on Normandy. Within a single hour, over one thousand soldiers lost their lives on the bloody beach, which was covered by the fires of machine guns and other weapons. Although many cynics would underscore that, nowadays, there are also kills and wars all over the world, none of them, however, either by casualty or by duration, can be compared to those two unimaginable wars occurred in 1917 and 1941. Hence, today’s world is becoming more peaceful and compatible and, consequently, becoming a better one.
# w( ^* [! y, h/ K# r' u7 yThe Great Depression, which took place between 1929 and 1933, was a nightmare of most Americans. On Thursday, October 24, 1929, dubbed Black Thursday, the Wall Street stock market crashed. When trading ended, the Dow Jones Industrial Average had fallen 9 percent. Despite the crash, reports remained optimistic. New York banks united to buy up $30 million worth of stocks in order to stabilize the market. And President Herbert Hoover announced that recovery was expected. However, the situation only became bleaker during the next week. On Tuesday, October 29, 1929, known as Black Tuesday, The Dow dropped over 17 percent, confirming the permanency of the crash. By mid-November, the stock market loss topped $30 billion. As a result of the crash, the national economy fell into the worst of its history. Banks closed their doors in record numbers, and more than 30,000 businesses failed in 1932 alone. Unemployment reached an unheard of high of 25 percent in 1933, and hovered between 15 and 20 percent during most of the 1930s. People were camping outside in parks or beside the streets. The bright promise of mass production had ended in a nightmare. Today, the world economy was on the right way and the boom seemed to be guaranteed, with little regressions nonetheless. Economy is thriving and has never encountered such a disaster as the Great Depression since then.
The world is improving both on economy and on peace as a whole; therefore, I believe that with tiny setbacks, the world is changing for a more prospective and harmonious future.

深海lavenderUID: 2350207

感觉这个没有上一篇好。
- O2 S6 n- F, a议论分析部分太少，而且有些生硬了。两个例子中描述过去和现在部分的衔接过渡很生硬，适当加些连接词，调整下语序，会好一些。个人建议，在写现在的时候不要就用一两句abstract的话带过，也适当地描写一下，用discriptive language，这样更突出与过去的对比，而不是光说空话比过去好。否则段落显得头重脚轻，前面似乎是背好的缎子（MS根据你上一篇的内容看，这个确实是背好的），而后面像自己写的，就不够powerful了。即使真的是背好的，也不能让rater看出来亚。
提到议论部分，仔细去看看6分范文，不是把对例子的描述和议论严格分开的，而是夹叙夹议，在叙述的中间就带一点定义性的议论，然后在叙述发展的过程中议论成分逐渐增多。
1 q5 A1 f; o. n加油加油咯。:)

HeswingUID: 2218592

我不赞同SAT作文找组织的想法。。。

深海lavenderUID: 2350207

为什么？:confused:
MM可以说下原因吗？

HeswingUID: 2218592

IBT的作文就比较适合小组练习，因为IBT的作文套路比较死。
3 u' P7 I% G  f我对SAT作文的理解是，比较灵活。从某个角度来讲，很难形成统一的标准。
我就是那么一说。。。也不一定。。。

深海lavenderUID: 2350207

哦呵呵，那可能各人看法不一样吧。
我觉得SAT作文正是因为比较灵活，而许多板油思路还不够开阔，多听取大家的意见，看看别人的文章，可以拓宽思路，写作时更加文思泉涌。
况且，虽然SAT作文灵活，但还是有一定的基本规则和标准而言的，对此思路不够清晰的同学，相互学习，取长补短，也可以逐渐增加对SAT作文的认识程度，做到心中有数。:)

DSunshineUID: 2380759

嘎嘎嘎嘎;d: 我同意深海姐姐的。
作文大家讨论比自己练再琢磨更有效率吧。

一步一杀UID: 2368111

嘿嘿，我大概只能提提建议了~~~够不上改的级别~~;d: 不过乐意帮忙~~

深海~UID: 2443961

好啊，欢迎欢迎。
还是以提建议为主，大的方向把握很重要，词句倒相对次要一点。:)