5.5号写的作文 求拍 5.30号就考了：）

djyde1UID: 2463014

Topic: learning about the past has no value for those of us living in the present. Do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to ｓuppor your answer.

When asked about whether learning about the past has no value for those of us living in the present some people who believe that the past has nothing to learn from prefer to the former, but the others who think that the people can benefit a lot from the past prefer to the latter. According to me, I myself firmly believe that learning about the past has great value for us living in the present.

In the first place, learning about the past can help people avoid making mistakes in the present. For example, learning from the disasters that the world war brought to the human, people are more care about the peace around the world. Now, many countries are agree on the contract of peace.

Second, learning about the cultures and knowledges of the past can help people have more inventions and creations in the present. For example, based on the invention of engine, people have invented a lot of vehicles such as the bus, subway, and plane which bring lots of convenient to human’s life. And thanks to the invention of electricity, we do not have to light the candles in the night, and we can also enjoy all kinds of electrical equipments: such as the bulb, television ,computer and so on. All these make us enjoy a better life in the present.


Finally, learning from the characters of the past can help people become the people who are useful to the society. For example, there were many people’s heros in the history who were fight for the liberaty of the whole world. Thinking about these heros, people in the present will do their best to do things better. In this way, we will surely have a better world in the future.

From what has been discussed above, we could safely draw conclusion that learning about the past has important value for those of us living in the present. Learning from the past, people can avoid making mistakes, make more progress in every field in the world. In this way, people can enjoy better lives.

hyacinthUID: 2184492

When asked about whether learning about the past has no value for those of us living in the present [^ , 句读很重要 ;d: ] some people who believe that the past has nothing to learn from prefer to [Delete it.] the former [这个指代什么呢?你文章的第一句并没有提到可供选择的前者后者啊.:rolleyes: ], but the others who think that the people can benefit a lot from the past prefer to the latter [理由同前]. According to me [→As for me/ As far as I am concerned], I myself firmly believe that learning about the past has great value for us living in the present

In the first place, learning about the past can help people avoid making mistakes in the present. For example, learning from the disasters that the world war brought to the human, people are more care [→concerned] about the peace around the world. Now, many countries are [Delete it.一个句子里要是有两个动词就要打架了 :o ] agree on the contract of peace.

Second, learning about the cultures and knowledges [→knowledge] of the past can help people have more inventions and creations in the present. For example, based on the invention of engine, people have invented a lot of vehicles such as the bus, subway, and plane which bring lots of convenient [这里要用名词形式] to human’s life [定语从句如果跟在plane后面,它所修饰的内容可就没有bus和subway了. 调一下顺序. people have invented a lot of vehicles which bring lots of convenience to human’s life, such as the bus, subway, and plane]. And [and不要用来做开头,它是连词,负责连接并列成分的.] thanks to the invention of electricity, we do not have to light the candles in the night, and we can also enjoy all kinds of electrical equipments: such as the bulb, television, computer and so on. All these make us enjoy a better life in the present.

Finally, learning from the characters of the past can help people become the people who are useful to the society [读起来很awkward.最好能重写]. For example, there were many people’s heros [→heroes] in the history who were fight [→fought] for the liberaty [→liberty] of the whole world.[Be specific! Could you please name the heroes?:o ] Thinking about these heros, people in the present will do their best to do things better.[这个理由太牵强了:( ] In this way, we will surely have a better world in the future.

From what has been discussed above, we could safely draw conclusion that learning about the past has important value for those of us living in the present. Learning from the past, people can avoid making mistakes, [逗号换成and] make more progress in every field in the world [body部分的三个段子有提到make progress吗?]. In this way, people can enjoy better lives.

文章的写法问题主要集中在:文章的展开不够.例子描述的不够到位,这两个让你的文章显得很单薄;个别理由很牵强.
至于表达上,语法问题比较严重.修辞再好,逻辑再严谨的文章,一旦有了这么多语法错误,给人的印象也会大打折扣.
另外句式表达上也有些单一,learning about the past, in the present几乎在每一段都出现了.

不过文章思路和结构都没有问题的. en...30号考试还有二十多天, 这段时间里,你肯定会做很多阅读,不妨多挖掘一些阅读里的地道表达用到你的作文里. ;d:
Good luck!;d:

echomissyou1984UID: 2217836

我要说的，版主都说了