deleted

zhuzhuorUID: 2452739

deleted

lisheng19881108UID: 2358622

TOPIC: ISSUE50 - "In order to improve the quality of instruction at the college and university level, all faculty should be required to spend time working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach."
WORDS: 450(429)          TIME: 02:02:00          DATE: 2008-7-23 16:43:40

The author suggests all faculty should go outside the academic world and spend time working in professions relevant to what they teach to students, which can help better the quality of instruction of the colleges and universities. I fundamentally（我增加一词汇，呵呵） agree with the author that working outside would improve the quality of teaching except some cases that faculty do not need to work outside.

In the first place, teachers working outside the academic world may help students learn the latest and the most advanced knowledge. Because of the fast development of technologies and ideas in the industrial world, the content of the students' books may be out of date. If faculty get some works related to the course they teach, they can always keep conscious about the major differences of research directions in the industrial world and in the academic world. Consequently, teachers can revise their teaching content to keep pace with the latest achievements in the industrial world, and thus students will learn more practical knowledge which will benefit them after their graduation.（这一段写的还是很好的，唯一值得商榷的是这个先进的知识在industrial world好像有点··，可以写在工厂的一些经历可以增长关于这一方面知识的应用方面，句式都不用变，只需要把个别词改一下）

In addition, the teachers with career experiences can help students to find suitable jobs. In my observation, most of students will get their jobs after they graduate from the colleges or universities, therefore, the directions for the job markets and the plans for their career choices are very significant. If teachers find some works in related areas at first, they will clearly know what are the basic requirements and which abilities are mostly required for such positions. By learning from the teachers' experiences, students will mend their study and career plans. On the other hand, （我没找到on one hand，这个应该需要成对使用）under this circumstance industries can also employ the most suitable students finally.

However, going outside to gain career experiences may be unacceptable for the teachers of some special courses. For instance, regardless of fast technological development, the content of some basic subjects, which are the fundamentals of all the modern technologies, can hardly be improved nowadays. The faculty teaching mathematics and physics can gain little from the industrial world and have few needs to spend time on the outside works. On the other hand, some courses aim to introduce students the latest academic results, which industries have to take time to actually use. The faculty teaching such courses would prefer to stay at their laboratories or research centers.

In sum, from what has been discussed above, we may finally draw the conclusion that except some teachers for the most fundamental and latest knowledge, faculty should be required to work outside the academic world, which can help improve the quality of instruction.
结构：
0. 原则上同意，但要排除几个特例
1. 老师出去工作可以了解业界的最新技术
2. 老师有工作经验能给学生做就业指导..
3. 但是一些教基础学科或者太前沿内容的老师，让他们出去找相应的工作还不到，也没用感受：找不到其他论点，没有例子这次基本上没用模板，不是时间还是超长啊写完才发现完全忽略了文科的老师啊...

首先我觉得文章确实写得不错，虽然词汇不难但很好的表达了自己的观点，建议可以试试复杂点的句式来增加你的文采。对于你说的论点现在这样已经足够，一篇文章5段就已经够了，例子在这个时候可以试试万能例子。其次就是你的时间问题，自己看看是出在哪是不是打字速度慢还是就是想不出来该怎么写，如果属于后种情况建议整理些优美句式来充填自己的论述，这样你就可以把这些句式联系在一起就行了，没必要考虑后一句到底改写什么，因为我对你的情况也不是很了解，还有一种情况就是你写的少，需要多练，每次举完一个例子可以加几句论述这几句论述就是你自己对这个例子的理解，这样一段文字就差不多了。（哎给你说的我基本做不到··）还有就是我认为没有所谓忽略文科老师 嘿嘿

[ 本帖最后由 lisheng19881108 于 2008-7-24 10:03 编辑 ]

1001storyUID: 2516918

the fast development of technologies and ideas in the industrial world
我感觉最先进的科学技术或理论应该是在实验室先产生ARGUE下这个观点，:)
你的例子其实不一定是要名校名人地事迹，可以是自己假设的一个例子或者调查，可能很不严谨但是可以试试，老师没时间去考证你的论据。
上面的改的很仔细，所以就不多说了，加油！

[ 本帖最后由 1001story 于 2008-7-25 09:57 编辑 ]