impluse周一作业 生活类 求拍!~必回拍

gabby19832004UID: 2461820

在当今这个社会，人们越来越重视外貌及时尚。你是否同意？给出例子及原因(周一作业)。
Several decades ago, after people being satisfied with the abundance of commercial products, they began to view the appearance of those products with more priorities. But whether the appearance worth such attention? Or is it sensible to put the appearance over quality? Some may ask. From my point of view, it depends on the different industries.

First, it is rational for the fashion industries to pursue the beautiful appearances. Take the luxury brands, like Channel, Gucci, and LV as an example: because they touted their clients largely by their cutting-edge and exclusive design, these brands should definitely emphasize the appearances of their products. Otherwise, they will inevitably risk losing their adherents.

Some publications also pay great effort on cover-design. Glancing at the newsstands, you will easily find the gorgeous-designed cover pages sparkled your eyes: Vogue pictured stylish girls, Gourmand issued a close-up of yummy Asian dishes, and Tourists advertised a stunning view of a Scottish lake. As a matter of fact, large amount of consumers buy one book depend on their first impression, and these well-picked cover pages are among the first stimulations of the publications’ sales volume.

As to the professional field, I tend to make the practicality as well as the appearance my first choice. Would you buy a car solely because its innovative appearance? My answer is no. I can no more ignore the function than I can ignore the appearance. Usually, I tend to evaluate the security systems first, and then I take into account the exterior. I need a car that is both secure and good-looking.

Also, there is no denying that scientific researches pay little attention to the appearances. All they need is the justice and reality of their results.

To sum up, the different priorities of appearances depends on different industries of them. On one end, like fashion industries, appearance is undoubtedly important. On the other end of spectrum, appearance means little comparing to the truth.
需要互改的大虾们请留下连接!~

[ 本帖最后由 gabby19832004 于 2008-7-28 21:31 编辑 ]

lemon1kgUID: 2309820

个人觉得好像不够平衡~
先讲重视appereance的industry. 然后内外都重视. 最后不太重视.对吧？
但是三部分的比例有点问题~ 第一部分为什么要写两段？我不太清楚。。。

新手观点，LZ见谅~

gabby19832004UID: 2461820

谢谢楼上的。恩有没有人能详细点评一下啊.谢谢各位拉!~

kennith_leeUID: 199791

路过，
借鉴并学习着……
感觉LZ词汇运用能力高超，很native，结构确实不是很对称，但能感觉出你的作文能力刚刚地，
服！

迷茫者UID: 2514662

Several decades ago, after people being satisfied with the abundance of commercial products(abundant commercial products), they began to view the appearance of those products with more priorities. But whether the appearance worth(es) such attention? Or is it sensible to put the appearance over quality? Some may ask(可以省去 会更紧凑些）. From my point of view, it depends on the different industries.留学,考试,TOEFL,GRE,GMAT,IELTS,SAT,VISA,文书,签证,论坛,出国,申请,美国,英国,欧洲,加拿大,USAZjC@\#Wrj\
First, it is rational for the fashion industries to pursue the beautiful appearances. Take the luxury brands, like Channel, Gucci, and LV as an example: because they touted their clients largely by their cutting-edge and exclusive design, these brands should definitely emphasize the appearances of their products. Otherwise, they will inevitably risk losing their adherents.

Some publications also pay great effort on cover-design. Glancing at the newsstands, you will easily find the gorgeous-designed cover pages sparkled your eyes: （是否这样更通顺点：your eyes even will be sparkled by the gorgeous-designed cover pages) Vogue pictured stylish girls, Gourmand issued a close-up of yummy Asian dishes, and Tourists advertised a stunning view of a Scottish lake. As a matter of fact, large amount of(a large amount of or large mounts of) consumers buy one book depending on their first impression, and these well-picked cover pages are among the first stimulations of the publications’ sales volume.

As to the professional field, I tend to make(take) the practicality as well as the appearance as my first choice. Would you buy a car solely because of its innovative appearance? My answer is no. I can no more ignore the function than I can ignore the appearance. Usually, I tend to evaluate the security systems first, and then I take into account the exterior. I need a car that is both secure and good-looking.

Also, there is no denying that scientific researches pay little attention to the appearances. All they need is the justice and reality of their results.6Xy"N8Q(F
X:M
to sum up, the different priorities of appearances depends(delete "s") on different industries of them. On one end, like fashion industries, appearance is undoubtedly important. On the other end of spectrum, appearance means little comparing to(compared with) the truth
以上修改仅凭个人愚见。. |留学|签证|TOEFL|GRE可能
总的来说不错的 特别是词汇一快
看的出来LZ基础相当扎实~~~~~
也许文章欠流畅一点~~~TOEFL作文的亮点其实不用很多~~~~~4-5句足以~~
一味的求复杂可能会影响文章的整体感觉  
最主要的 30分钟内 要赶一篇这样的文章 会很紧~~
加油~~~~

gabby19832004UID: 2461820

帮助很大。谢谢楼上的.建议以后一起互改啊!~

redshineUID: 2458293

Being satisfied with the abundance of commercial products, people began to view the appearance of those products with more priorities since several decades ago. Is it worth to pay more attention on appearance, or is it sensible to put appearance over quality? From my
point of view, it depends on the different industrial fields.

For a fashion industry, it is reasonable to pursue the beautiful appearances. Most luxury brands, Channel, Gucci, and LV, for instance,
toute their clients largely by their cutting-edge and exclusive design, so that they emphasize the appearance of their products.
Otherwise, they will face to inevitable risk on losing adherents.

Some publications also pay great effort on cover-design. By scanning a newsstands, you will easily find the gorgeous cover pages
sparkling eyes: Vogue pictured stylish girls, Gourmand issued a close-up of yummy Asian dishes, or Tourists advertised a stunning view of a Scottish lake. As a matter of fact, large amount of consumers buy books at first glance, and these well-picked cover pages are among
the first stimulations of the publications’ sales volume.

As a consumer of a car, my choice is both on practicality and appearance. One definitely would not buy a car solely on innovative
appearance. Appearance can not attract me more than function. I will evaluate the security systems first, then the function, and the
exterior as well. I need a car that is both secure and good-looking.

......
(Sorry, I'm exausted now. Just for communication, and please make your opinions)

19811010316UID: 2220703

Several decades ago, after people being satisfied with the abundance of commercial products, they began to view the appearance of those products with more priorities. But whether the appearance worth such attention? Or is it sensible to put the appearance over quality? Some may ask. From my point of view, it depends on the different industries.u/{3o5E

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First, it is rational for the fashion industries to pursue the beautiful appearances. Take the luxury brands, like Channel, Gucci, and LV as an example: because they touted their clients largely by their cutting-edge and exclusive design, these brands should definitely emphasize the appearances of their products. Otherwise, they will inevitably risk losing their adherents.|留学|签证|TOEFL|GREe%c        q O4L#[Cj*A

Some publications also pay great effort on cover-design. Glancing at the newsstands, you will easily find the gorgeous-designed cover pages sparkled your eyes: Vogue pictured stylish girls, Gourmand issued a close-up of yummy Asian dishes, and Tourists advertised a stunning view of a Scottish lake. As a matter of fact, large amount of (不可数，large number of)consumers buy one book depend on their first impression, and these well-picked cover pages are among the first stimulations of the publications’ sales volume.+BP7n6rl


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As to the professional field, I tend to make the practicality as well as the appearance my first choice. Would you buy a car solely because its innovative appearance? My answer is no. I can no more ignore the function than I can ignore the appearance. Usually, I tend to evaluate the security systems first, and then I take into account the exterior. I need a car that is both secure and good-looking.

,GMAT,IELTS,SAT,VISA,文书,签证,论坛,出国,申请,美国,英国,欧洲,加拿大,USAYiQ        W&y7Pb
Also, there is no denying that scientific researches pay little attention to the appearances. All they need is the justice and reality of their results.寄托家园pD4V*\

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To sum up, the different priorities of appearances depends on different industries of them. On one end, like fashion industries, appearance is undoubtedly important. On the other end of spectrum, appearance means little comparing to the truth.
第二段很精彩。
继续努力

迷茫者UID: 2514662

好的 以后相互修改~~前进

gabby19832004UID: 2461820

强烈感谢各位!~