【超越自我小组】8月17日作业issue48

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碰到历史类和政治类题目就犯难。。。。写的有点儿久，而且没有过500字。请大家多帮帮我改。谢谢。

What is history? History is a chronological record of significant events often including an explanation of their causes. That is to say only significant events called history and only a famous few can be recorded. However, many historians rise up a new point of view that places much emphasis on a group of people rather than an individual. Although it is creative, the evidences and records for the common people are so limited that make the study impractically. Also, different disciplines emphasis differently on individual and group. Generally, I disagree with the assertion of speaker that in most of the disciplines contribution are made by a famous few rather than a group of people.

To begin with, a significant individual who can contribute a lot to history especially in the field of academia. Take Madam Curie for example, the discovery of radiation and abstraction of radium are handed down from one generation to another by the science history. Apparently, it is not fair if the historians attribute her success to a group of people rather than herself. As we all know, the achievement of a scientific mostly attribute to an individual, because a creative idea can hardly rise up by a group of people. People in a group are used to compromise to each other, as a result the innovation become much more traditional and common. Therefore it is not necessary for a historian to record a group of people who influence the significant events.

However, there are indeed a certain group of people they influence history significantly, which we can not ignore. Take the Civil Rights Movement for example, Martin Luther King, as a leader, be considered as the symbol of it, but without thousands of black people and even a group of white people’s supporting, he can not achieve his goal. The greatness of Mahatma Gandhi is his determination and excellent leadership; however, without the Indians who live in South African upholding he can hardly win the political competition, what is more, it is impossible attain the reputation of Farther of Nation for leading India to be independent.

In addition, when it come to the field of history research, historians who bring about the idea of placing emphasis on a group of people rather than a famous few encounter a series problems. So much is new and complex study of common people that neither the past historians record them or the evidences being kept till today. Thus, to study an individual for scholars are more practical.

No one would deny without the supporting of a group of people the famous people can achieve their goals. Nevertheless, the most innovations are brought about by a certain individual. They think before the society trend and they persuade most of the citizen convinced. Those who are really in earnest concerned with the creative point of view should consistently commit to their research, if only they would find convincing evidences.

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What is history? History is a chronological record of significant events often including an explanation of their causes. That is to say only significant events called history and only a famous few can be recorded. However, many historians rise up a new point of view that places much emphasis on a group of people rather than an individual. Although it is creative, the evidences and records for the common people are so limited that make the study impractically. Also, different disciplines emphasis differently on individual and group. Generally, I disagree with the assertion of speaker that in most of the disciplines contribution are made by a famous few rather than a group of people.

To begin with, a significant individual who can contribute a lot to history especially in the field of academia. Take Madam Curie for example, the discovery of radiation and abstraction of radium are handed down from one generation to another by the science history. Apparently, it is not fair if the historians attribute her success to a group of people rather than herself. As we all know, the achievement of a scientific mostly attribute to an individual, because a creative idea can hardly rise up by a group of people（这个因果貌似不成立吧，像基因组计划，登月计划就解释不通了）. People in a group are used to compromise to each other, as a result the innovation become much more traditional and common（有点太范了，作为新小论点，是不是得有些必要的论证）. Therefore it is not necessary for a historian to record a group of people who influence the significant events.

However, there are indeed a certain group of people they influence history significantly, which we can not ignore. Take the Civil Rights Movement for example, Martin Luther King, as a leader, be considered as the symbol of it, but without thousands of black people and even a group of white people’s supporting, he can not achieve his goal. The greatness of Mahatma Gandhi is his determination and excellent leadership; however, without the Indians who live in South African upholding he can hardly win the political competition, what is more, it is impossible attain the reputation of Farther of Nation for leading India to be independent.
（这段跟你的观点相悖：I disagree with the assertion of speaker that in most of the disciplines contribution are made by a famous few rather than a group of people. 可能你想让步，但让步不是否定自己的立场，而是让自己的立场更加无懈可击。）

In addition, when it come to the field of history research, historians who bring about the idea of placing emphasis on a group of people rather than a famous few encounter a series problems. （上一句是Ts吗？可下文我找不到 a series problems）So much is new and complex study of common people that neither the past historians record them or the evidences being kept till today（1.缺少对观点的论证，2.好像和你的第三段矛盾啊）. Thus, to study an individual for scholars are more practical.

No one would deny without the supporting of a group of people the famous people can achieve their goals. Nevertheless, the most innovations are brought about by a certain individual. They think before the society trend and they persuade most of the citizen convinced. Those who are really in earnest concerned with the creative point of view should consistently commit to their research, if only they would find convincing evidences（好像跟题目关于个人集体对于历史的主题没什么关系）.

语句与例子都很棒，比我厉害多了，学习ing
对于观点的论证有个别处欠佳。
你论证了个人和集体分别对于历史的贡献，可是题目要求的是关于孰重孰轻的问题，就是他俩的比较问题。推荐那篇关于“specialist and generialist”  的模板作文，对于这方面很有针对性。
我个人的作文功底很差，以上是个人不成熟的看法，如果那点说错了不用理会就是了，呵呵

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谢谢你。这篇issue是写了很久的。逻辑一直是我的大问题。你说的很对。