COMEON小组--------作业 9.1 Chineselady

chineseladyUID: 2403976

8月31日

新能源（sun, wind, water）will be soon replace 旧能源fossil fuels (oil, gas)， agree or disagree? 2006 年10 月28日技术进步类

改作业的人辛苦了！一起加油:handshake :handshake
At present, the international community and our nation are focusing on the environment around our lives. People and related organizations would discuss this issue firstly when they need to chose which city or country should have an international conference, where the delegates from each nation will appear. Therefore, I definitely agree that the new energy will replace the old ones for the reason that it will not bring the pollution as the old energy did.

In the first place, fossil fuels led to industrial and atmosphere pollution. At the beginning of the developing industry, coal and fossil fuels played a key role in running the machines and produce electricity. It resulted in both air and water pollution, though, people got progress in industry. At that time, the sky of some industrial areas was dark or red. This situation starts to change when some developed countries adopted new energy, like solar energy. From then on, people use solar energy when take shower instead of electricity or fossil fuels, because it will not make any dirt to the air.

Meanwhile, the water power—hydroelectric power does not bring pollution. In many counties, such power plants are used to produce electricity. The falling water is pushing the turbines to run every machine for families and factories.

At the same time, some developed countries could be examples to developing nations when they utilize the new energy to reduce the pollution and to enhance national ability. At present, environmental protection is one of the main issues people are interested and care about. Development and pollution became a controversial topic in society. The old energy has brought a lot waste and the phenomenon of oil leakage made plants and animals died, which broke biological circle. Those developed countries realized that the serious consequence while developed their industry. They may have better methods to ameliorate it. For instance, the solar energy and hydroelectric dam are adopted in developed nations first.

In conclusion, the new power will replace the situation of the old ones soon, because of the limited old energy and the pollution they brought. Meanwhile, people need to utilize the new energy better to improve the living condition.

chineseladyUID: 2403976

不好意思啊 是8.31的作业 我就记得今天是9.1了 呵呵！

kturyUID: 2274868

At present, the international community[请教一下什么意思??] and our nation are focusing on the environment around our lives. People and related organizations would discuss this issue[什么issue? ] firstly when they need to chose which city or country should have an international conference, where the delegates from each nation will appear[表达不清]. Therefore, I definitely agree that the new energy will replace the old ones for the reason that it will not bring the pollution as [+what] the old energy did.

In the first place, fossil fuels led to industrial and atmosphere pollution. At the beginning of the developing industry, coal and fossil fuels played[play] a key role in running the machines and produce[producing] electricity. It resulted in both air and water pollution, though, people got progress in industry.[Although people get progress in industries, resulting in both air and water pollution] At that time, the sky of some industrial areas was dark or red. This situation starts to change when some developed countries adopted new energy, like solar energy. From then on, people use solar energy when take shower instead of electricity or fossil fuels, because it will not make any dirt to the air [people using solar energy instead of fossil fuels to take shower because it will not make any dirt to the air].
[可以不用时间来反映不同类型国家对能源的使用  也就是说这一段可以都用一般现在时]

Meanwhile, the water power—hydroelectric power does not bring pollution. In many counties, such power plants[?pattern??] are used to produce electricity. The falling water is pushing the turbines to run every machine for families and factories.

At the same time, some developed countries could be examples to developing nations when they utilize the new energy to reduce the pollution and to enhance national ability. At present, environmental protection is one of the main issues people are interested and care about. Development and pollution became a controversial topic in society. The old energy has brought a lot waste and the phenomenon of oil leakage made plants and animals died, which broke biological circle. Those developed countries realized that the serious consequence while developed their industry.[those developed countries have realized the serious consequence when they developed their industries] They may have better methods to ameliorate it. For instance, the solar energy and hydroelectric dam are adopted in developed nations first.[与前文重复, 没有很好的写出如何学习发达国的先进技术]

In conclusion, the new power will replace the situation of the old ones soon, because of the limited old energy and the pollution they brought. Meanwhile, people need to utilize the new energy better to improve the living condition.
新能源取代旧能源又很多因素.1.污染2.旧能源日渐缺少3.汽油现在飙升,人们负担不起,新能源可以改变这一现状.等等
换个思路写写看.
字数有些少(我也是….)
水平有限,望海涵!------ktury

qawsedUID: 2359935

At present, the international community and our nation are focusing on the environment around our lives. People and related organizations would discuss this issue firstly when they need to chose which city or country should have an international conference, where the delegates from each nation will appear. 这句有点和主题不相关哦~读起来很绕呢Therefore, I definitely agree that the new energy will replace the old ones for the reason that it will not bring the pollution as the old energy did.

In the first place, fossil fuels led to industrial and atmosphere pollution. At the beginning of the developing industry, coal and fossil fuels played a key role in running the machines and produce electricity. It resulted in both air and water pollution, though, people got progress in industry. At that time, the sky of some industrial areas was dark or red. This situation starts to change when some developed countries adopted new energy, like solar energy. From then on, people use solar energy when take shower instead of electricity or fossil fuels, because it will not make any dirt to the air.
Meanwhile, the water power—hydroelectric power does not bring pollution. In many counties, such power plants are used to produce electricity. The falling water is pushing the turbines to run every machine for families and factories.

At the same time, some developed countries could be examples to developing nations when they utilize the new energy to reduce the pollution and to enhance national ability. At present, environmental protection is one of the main issues people are interested and care about. Development and pollution became a controversial topic in society. The old energy has brought a lot waste and the phenomenon of oil leakage made plants and animals died, which broke biological circle. Those developed countries realized that the serious consequence while developed their industry. They may have better methods to ameliorate it. For instance, the solar energy and hydroelectric dam are adopted in developed nations first
上两段主要阐述了renewable energy 应用的必需性。我个人认为有点跑题，题目没有问是否重要，问的是renewable energy否会soon代替fossil fuels。重要并不说明很快会代替他们，所以主题扣得不够紧。这题目比较容易跑，我写的很吃力，建议多在论述中扣住soon来说In conclusion, the new power will replace the situation of the old ones soon, because of the limited old energy and the pollution they brought. Meanwhile, people need to utilize the new energy better to improve the living condition.结尾很好

chineseladyUID: 2403976

谢谢你 改了好多呢，一会去你的看看！是啊字数不多怎么办呢，而且我时候还有点跑题。有几个回答
A：international community 是国际社会吧
B：issue 我是想说环境污染的问题 唉 没有展开写 也没有解释
C：.[Although people get progress in industries, resulting in both air and water pollution] 好象是连接两个句子，但是转折后面是短语？
D：[people using solar energy instead of fossil fuels to take shower because it will not make any dirt to the air]. because前句好象没有谓语吧，？
E：与前文重复, 没有很好的写出如何学习发达国的先进技术]:handshake :handshake 很，非常同意！！

chineseladyUID: 2403976

谢谢！我有时候写吧就有点跑题，怎么办泥:funk:  谢谢你很赞美我的结尾！在考试跑题就没时间改了:mad

qawsedUID: 2359935

你的这句It resulted in both air and water pollution, though, people got progress in industry是没有问题的。
另外people use solar energy when take shower instead of electricity or fossil fuels, because it will not make any dirt to the air 这句也可以，ktury改的语序更符合我们的习惯，但是他改的那个using变成use就对了。
一点小意见哈;)

chineseladyUID: 2403976

谢谢！还没睡觉啊