第一次小作文（附图），请提意见，好心里有底，谢谢！

wy_ntgleUID: 2398244

This bar chart illustrates the change rate of population in the first years of the past five centuries based on different continents which include Africa,Asia,Europe and North America.Apparently,the world`s population has been growing up steadily at an increasing rate.
               
According to the graph, population in the listed four continents rised at a generally close rate of 15% in 1500,1600 and 1700 with North America being the slowest one since the change rate for this continent kept at less than 5%.Nonetheless,the data for North America rocketed in 1800 and 80% was added to the total number.Whereas,the other three continents didn`t encounter such a dramatic growth at the same time even though their average growth rate climbed from around 15% to 25%.Interestingly,in the first year of the last century North America fell back to be the slowest continent in terms of population growth with a rate of 15% and the top one was Asia whose population raised 35%.

To conclude,the global population number has been expanding at a steady rate with an eccentrically sharp rise in North America in 1800.

另外，请教两个问题：1：小作文只写两段是不是也无妨，我总觉得自己最后一段的总结有点啰嗦完全没必要的感觉，可不可以不要（字数够）？

2：哪位前辈能分享一下图表题的写作思路经验，怎样写才能快速理出条理清楚重点突出的思路，我老觉得看着图一下子不知道怎么分析数据从哪些角度或面写。大作文倒是写自己的观点，按自己想的思路走就行了，这种描述性的东西怎么办？

TKS


[ 本帖最后由 wy_ntgle 于 2008-9-18 21:49 编辑 ]

饱饭仔UID: 2505959

不知道题目里面是侧重以国家为主线还是以年份为主线,不过一般像这种多柱图,一半是一次性交代一个国家的变化从大到小
楼主的开头写得非常的模板化,当然,也很不错啦.毕竟这个是说明文,考官也是这么写的
至于主体段,看你的观察角度不同而不同,我个人如果写这个图的话,我会一个国家做一次交代
对于你的两个问题,第一个结尾段完全看你自己要不要,无所谓的
第二个问题,小作文把模板用的炉火纯青,说明文就是这么写的
线图注意变化,多饼注意对比,柱图参考前两种,至于表格可以简化成前三种

wy_ntgleUID: 2398244

谢谢：),我就是看见图想到的就是那样，请问如果按我那么写的话会不会因为遗漏太多信息而影响分数？

晚上以continent为主线再写一篇发上来看看

饱饭仔UID: 2505959

怎么说呢,如果一个图简单,你就要尽量详尽
一个图信息量大,比较复杂,那就要找有代表性的数据

wy_ntgleUID: 2398244

从另一个角度重写了主体段，大家看看有什么问题，就这样交卷行不

Generally,all four continents saw a stable population growth which was quite slow in Africa from 1500 to 1800,ranging between 5% and 15%.However,it doubled to 30% in 1900.Asia followed the same trend.There was averagely a 15% increase through 1500 to 1700 with 25% in 1800 and 35% in 1900..Europe,on the other hand,experienced a much slower growth of 3%or 8% in 1500 and 1600.Nevertheless,its change rate jumped to 20% in 1700 followed by a quite similar rise in both 1800 and 1900.The most interest data was discerned in North America whose population number had hardly changed from 1500 to 1700 since the growth rate stayed below 3%.In the year of 1800,however,over 80% was added to the total number in North America and that figure dropped to 15% in 1900.

饱饭仔UID: 2505959

嗯,这样一个一个国家来看就更清楚了
可以把整体变化趋势的国家放在一段
这样的话,应该可以写出几段,字数上会更好,哪怕你个别国家写得很详细也很清晰

67169619UID: 2320695

进步很明显:funk: :loveliness: