帮大家改ARGU吧

tchypUID: 2559154

先谢谢楼主了。
188A new report suggests that men and women experience pain very differently from one another, and that doctors should consider these differences when prescribing pain medications. When researchers administered the same dosage of kappa opioids—a painkiller—to 28 men and 20 women who were having their wisdom teeth extracted, the women reported feeling much less pain than the men, and the easing of pain lasted considerably longer in women. This research suggests that kappa opioids should be prescribed for women whenever pain medication is required, whereas men should be given other kinds of pain medication. In addition, researchers should reevaluate the effects of all medications on men versus women.

Outline:
1. other factors affected the effect, except sex
2. insufficient sample
3. all medicines are the same

   This new report advises the difference of feeling about pain between men and women so that the prescriptions ought to be different between men and women and even we should reevaluate the effects of medicines. To support this idea, the writer cites a research about the effect of a painkiller and the research suggests the necessity of prescribing according to sex. However, thinking the article over, we will easily discover some flaws that undermine the standpoint of the author.
   First of all, the most supportive evidence to the viewpoint is the result of the research. In this experiment, according to the report, researchers administered the same dose to 28 men and 20 women and the feelings are totally different between them. It is little persuasive without knowing the health condition of both sides. Perhaps, the disease on these women is much less serious than that on the men or the health conditions of women are better so that women felt less pain. Or it may be the habit, not using the wisdom teeth for chewing, that affects the period of pain-relieving. Either possibility's occurrence will weaken the viewpoint that bases on the research.
Another serious problem in the research is that the samples 28 men and 20 women, is far from sufficient. It is entirely possible that these people’s bodies are extraordinary strong, which may result in deviation about the effect of opioids. Therefore, without enough samples, the research becomes unreliable and may probably lead to false result and the speculation based on it is doubtful. And the writer provides no evidence to prove the sufficiency of samples.
   Besides, regardless of the flaws in research, the conclusion that researchers should reevaluate the medicines is based on a logical flaw. Everyone knows that the differences between medications are so considerable that one medicine lacks the representation. Considering of this, we can easily perceive that the result of the experiment, which I regard it reasonable temporarily, on one kind of medicine is poorly supportive to the promotion of the reevaluation of all kinds of medicines. It is totally possible that the difference of the effect of the medicine between men and women exists only in that painkiller.
   In sum, the conclusion, the prescriptions should be made according to sex and it is necessary to reevaluate the effects of all kinds of medicines on men versus women, is base on a problematic research and a series of logical errors. If the author either increases the number of patients or chooses them base on their physical conditions or proves all the medicines have the same character, the viewpoint will be more persuasive.

zhima99UID: 2594776

我的ARGU， 麻烦楼主帮忙改下吧，谢谢咯~！

Argue 240 The following appeared in a memo written by a dean at Buckingham College.
"To serve the housing needs of our students, Buckingham College should build a new dormitory. Buckingham's enrollment is growing and , based on current trends, should double over the next fifty years, thus making existing dormitories inadequate./ Moreover, the average rent for an apartment in our town has increased in recent years. Consequently, students will find it increasingly difficult to afford off-campus housing./ Finally, an attractive new dormitory would make prospective students more likely to enroll at Buckingham."

In this memo, the dean of Buckingham College (BC) recommends that a new dormitory should be built to serve the housing needs of their students. For the reasons that the students’ enrollment is on a growing trend and the dormitories will be inadequate if the trend lasts the next fifty years. He also cites the fact that the average rent for an apartment in this town has increased recently. And the dean expects the new building dormitory can attract more prospective student to enroll the BC. Close consideration of each of these facts, however, reveals that none of them lend credible support to the recommendation.

First and foremost, the inadequate of the existing dormitories is base on the dean's poor assumption that the current trend of the growing enrollment will stay unchanged and last till next fifty years. Perhaps the certain major in BC that becomes a hot one in recent days attracts more students to enroll the BC, so that they can find a job more easily after graduation from college. But once the people careered in this major have been enough successive in the society, the enrollments of BC would suffer a declination. Thus the large amount of rooms for students is no longer needed. Without considering these other possible changes which may happen in the future, spending lots of efforts on money and people to build a new dormitory that may not be used will be unnecessary.

Secondly, the dean fails to assert that the students in BC can not afford the increased rent of apartments. It is possible that due to the great development of the economics in this town recent years, the citizens also have higher salaries while the average rent is increasing. Or perhaps the apartments in the center of this town become expensive for renting, but on the contrary, the ones nearly the campus of BC have decreased the rent. Besides, the students who are ready to enter the BC mostly are living in this town may choose living at their own homes instead of dormitories, because it is convenient to go between home and campus. So at this situation, the dean would not to worry too much about the existing dormitories are inadequate for these new comers to move in.

Thirdly, the dean only emphasizes the influence of the attractive dormitories in the enrollments of BC, but ignores that there are many other factors which may be more important than that. For the main purpose of those students to enter a college is to learn the advanced knowledge which can help them build a prospective future. Therefore, they may more concern about what kinds of lessons are taught, the books which the library contains, the quality of teaching and the achievements of professors. They also need to make what they learnt in text book used in practical. So the quality of the building of labs and the experimental equipments usually is taken into consideration. What's more, the rates of employments every year after a grade of students have graduated also have a great influence on the enrollments of one college. In short, a new dormitory could not help improve the enrollments of BC as the dean expected.

In sum, though the worry of dean that the existing dormitories may be inadequate for the increasing students in BC is understandable, it is lacking enough evidences of this recommendation to convince people the fact that building a new dormitory is necessary and beneficial. The dean need think further to assure that the enrollments of BC will still keep growing. And the fundamental information of these students' family economical background needs to be known.

zhima99UID: 2594776

我的argu， 麻烦楼主帮忙改一下吧，谢谢咯~！

Argue 240 The following appeared in a memo written by a dean at Buckingham College.
"To serve the housing needs of our students, Buckingham College should build a new dormitory. Buckingham's enrollment is growing and , based on current trends, should double over the next fifty years, thus making existing dormitories inadequate./ Moreover, the average rent for an apartment in our town has increased in recent years. Consequently, students will find it increasingly difficult to afford off-campus housing./ Finally, an attractive new dormitory would make prospective students more likely to enroll at Buckingham."

In this memo, the dean of Buckingham College (BC) recommends that a new dormitory should be built to serve the housing needs of their students. For the reasons that the students’ enrollment is on a growing trend and the dormitories will be inadequate if the trend lasts the next fifty years. He also cites the fact that the average rent for an apartment in this town has increased recently. And the dean expects the new building dormitory can attract more prospective student to enroll the BC. Close consideration of each of these facts, however, reveals that none of them lend credible support to the recommendation.

First and foremost, the inadequate of the existing dormitories is base on the dean's poor assumption that the current trend of the growing enrollment will stay unchanged and last till next fifty years. Perhaps the certain major in BC that becomes a hot one in recent days attracts more students to enroll the BC, so that they can find a job more easily after graduation from college. But once the people careered in this major have been enough successive in the society, the enrollments of BC would suffer a declination. Thus the large amount of rooms for students is no longer needed. Without considering these other possible changes which may happen in the future, spending lots of efforts on money and people to build a new dormitory that may not be used will be unnecessary.

Secondly, the dean fails to assert that the students in BC can not afford the increased rent of apartments. It is possible that due to the great development of the economics in this town recent years, the citizens also have higher salaries while the average rent is increasing. Or perhaps the apartments in the center of this town become expensive for renting, but on the contrary, the ones nearly the campus of BC have decreased the rent. Besides, the students who are ready to enter the BC mostly are living in this town may choose living at their own homes instead of dormitories, because it is convenient to go between home and campus. So at this situation, the dean would not to worry too much about the existing dormitories are inadequate for these new comers to move in.

Thirdly, the dean only emphasizes the influence of the attractive dormitories in the enrollments of BC, but ignores that there are many other factors which may be more important than that. For the main purpose of those students to enter a college is to learn the advanced knowledge which can help them build a prospective future. Therefore, they may more concern about what kinds of lessons are taught, the books which the library contains, the quality of teaching and the achievements of professors. They also need to make what they learnt in text book used in practical. So the quality of the building of labs and the experimental equipments usually is taken into consideration. What's more, the rates of employments every year after a grade of students have graduated also have a great influence on the enrollments of one college. In short, a new dormitory could not help improve the enrollments of BC as the dean expected.

In sum, though the worry of dean that the existing dormitories may be inadequate for the increasing students in BC is understandable, it is lacking enough evidences of this recommendation to convince people the fact that building a new dormitory is necessary and beneficial. The dean need think further to assure that the enrollments of BC will still keep growing. And the fundamental information of these students' family economical background needs to be known.

zhima99UID: 2594776

啊。。。对不起，不小心发重了。。。

naningooUID: 2594658

Argument81Allergies are an overreaction of the immune system to certain stimuli. One view is that allergies can develop as the result of childhood exposure to certain irritants, such as dust or animal dander, while the immune system is not yet mature. Another view is that exposure to particular bacteria early in childhood actually triggers the proper development of the immune system, and that limiting exposure to these bacteria through excessive hygiene can cause children's immune systems to overreact to certain irritants later on. A new study supports the second view: children who are washed especially frequently and whose parents clean their homes especially frequently are more likely to develop allergies than are other children. So in order to reduce the incidence of allergies in children and adults, parents should not limit children's exposure to irritants or bacteria.

The arguer presented a unwarranted conclusion that less exposure to irritants and backteria by all means will increase children’s vulnerability to frequent allergies based on the credibility of second view.However,he fails to convince me into the second view just through a vague-intended new study.Not to mention only when the second view is substantiated,overraction to irritants will only results from one means---excessive hygiene.
First of all,the outcome of the new study is inadequate to manifest a direct negative relationship between less exposure to irritants due to the excessive hygiene and children’s odds of overraction to irritants and bacteria,as is mentioned in the latter part of the second view.The arguer unfairly excluded other possible alternatives that may make the children more liable to allergies.Such alternatives may include the daily activities of the respondents.What if the children who is particular about personal hygenie also paticipate a lot more  in outdoor activities,is more active in PE class and all sorts of games,care less about food and cutlery or live in worse condition?If that’s the case,the children actually is exposed to more bacteria and irritants.He may stuff himself by dirty food beside the road or junk food like humburgers which are made of filthy meat.It’s the same when they lead a life in slum slqmn,where bacteria and virus are hither and whither.Washing will only end in vain.Also,it’s highly possible that the respondents are exposed to more irritants and bacteria so that they are inclined to wash more constantly.And in reference to the children whose parents take hygenie very seriously,the children themselves may don’t.
In addition,the arguer fails to prove the first half part of the second view by the new study.Since the author have failed to confirm that the children washing more constantly are exposed less to bacteria and irritants thus is liable to allergies,he also can hardly substantiate that exposure to particular bacteria early in childhood will trigger the proper development of immune system. Then the proposal to expose the children to irritants is uncompelling.Therefore,the author should provide more detailed background information of the new study.
Last but not least,supposing the second view is warranted,the author is too headlong and harebrained to draw the peroration.Firstly,the bacteria that will provoke better development of the immune system is not randomly chosen.It has to be belonging to the very selected group.Secondly,exposure to bacteria and irritants in early age may not help but be controproductive. Because the immune system of children are still under development and is not mature.Exessive and unexpected exposure may hurt them.Thirdly,approaches besides the excessive hygenie may have no detrimental effect on children’s immune system later on..That undermine the necesisity to protect children’s from irritants and bacteria.
From all the above,the authur has to provide more relevant idices to prove the casual relationship between allergies and higher exposure to backteria and irritants.After all,the propersal have a lot to do with the health conditions and well-being of the children and their adulthood.

LZ帮我看看，谢谢啦．．．这是我之前写的，但是我觉得第一个观点放那没用，很别扭，而且是不是有个大前提我没说到呢．．．谢谢:D

JeremyWongUID: 2598212

好心的楼主帮我改改吧 谢啦 如果实在没有时间给个大概的分数也可以啊！！万分感谢！！
题目：ARGUMENT45 - The following appeared as an editorial in a wildlife journal.

"Arctic deer live on islands in Canada's arctic region. They search for food by moving over ice from island to island during the course of a year. Their habitat is limited to areas warm enough to sustain the plants on which they feed, and cold enough, at least some of the year, for the ice to cover the sea separating the islands, allowing the deer to travel over it. Unfortunately, according to reports from local hunters, the deer populations are declining. Since these reports coincide with recent global warming trends that have caused the sea ice to melt, we can conclude that the decline in arctic deer populations is the result of deer being unable to follow their age-old migration patterns across the frozen sea."
字数：432         

   According to the memorandum, the author draws the conclusion that the decline in arctic deer populations is the result of deer unable to follow their age-old migration pattern across the frozen sea and the green-house phenomenon .In order to corroborate the recommendation, the author states the habitat of the arctic deer and the information from the local hunter ,meanwhile, the author reinforces the assumption by the reports that recent global warming trends have caused the sea ice to melt .At first glimpse, the statement appears rational, however, stringent scrutiny reveals that  it is unconvincing for the following fallacies.
         Firstly, in the argument ,only by the reason that the global warming  is a simultaneity with the decline of the arctic deer populations  does the author claim that the green-house phenomenon is the exact reason for the decline. The factors, which can exert negative effects on the populations of the deer, is abundant. To illustrate, a special kind of virus can lead to a serious consequent on the number of the deer group. Apart from this probability, perhaps, the sudden change in their gene also can be the murder of the decrease in populations. Some other reasons are still not ruled out, for example, some change makes a increase on the populations of the deer's enemy, such as the arctic wolf , bear, therefore it can indirectly cause the decline in the deer's population. Based on the assumptions above, the author establishes the relationship between the global warming and the decreasing population of deer in mistake.
       Even if the relation between two phenomenon is convincing, the author claims that the report concerning the decline of the arctic deer was presented by the local hunter. Apparently, the report is lack of scientific evidence. Can the local hunter do a scientific survey upon the population of the deer? Probablely not. Meanwhile, the author fails to provide us more detail information about the trends of the population, for example, the study's season. The season might be the time when the arctic deer migrate to other places, so the local hunters realize the decline on the number of the deer .If the author can offer us the exact statistics about the deer populations, the assumption can be supported entirely.
        Even though the data is flawless, the author is also required to give us more present materials about their habitat. Maybe their habitat is not barely limited to such a few area, or they find another areas, to which it needn't migrating patterns across the frozen sea, to hunt food. By this assumption, we also can believe the conclusion of the argument.
       To draw the conclusion, the argument is untenable as it stands. To enhance what the author suggests, he must provide clear evidence and more detail statistics. If we can be supplied the complements above, the argument can be a  presuasive one.

Rainbow12UID: 2528107

LZ帮我看看吧，自己水平并不好，也不敢去和别人对拍，你先看一下我写的吧。。。。  谢谢！~
TOPIC: ARGUMENT127 ---The vice president for human resources at Climpson Industries sent the
following recommendation to the company's president.

"In an effort to improve our employees' productivity, we should implement
electronic monitoring of employees' Internet use from their workstations.
Employees who use the Internet from their workstations need to be
identified and punished if we are to reduce the number of work hours spent
on personal or recreational activities, such as shopping or playing games.
By installing software to detect employees' Internet use on company
computers, we can prevent employees from wasting time, foster a better
work ethic at Climpson, and improve our overall profits."
               TIME:  30:00             日期：2009.2.7
In this argument, the arguer recommends that we should install software which can detect employees' Internet use on company computers. To support his recommendation, he claims that this policy can prevent employees from wasting time, foster a better work ethic and improves our overall profits. However, in the very first glance, the arguer's claim seems to be plausible, but after a clearly thinking, it lies in several fallacies and logical flaws discussed below.

To begin with, the arguer's precondition which can prevent employees from wasting time on the Internet may not be guaranteed. Of course the employees in this company will waste littler time on the Internet, but we can not ensure that these employees will take this time to work. For example, the employees will not buy something on the Internet after this software installation, but they will buy something in the market by this work time. So the employees will also reduce their productivity if this thing happened.

Even if I were to concede that it is the fact that this thing will not happened in this company, the arguer's claim is also suspect. The arguer did not offer us any evidence about how the employees productivity. So perhaps their productivity is very high now. They do not must to install the software. In addition, the arguer also does not offer us the data about different productivity between before and after install the software. If the different is so small that we can not care about it, we have no necessary to install the electronic monitor.

At last but not least, the arguer's conclusion is too hasty. His goal is to improve our overall profits. But there is no relationship between improving the profits and implementing electronic monitoring. The profit, in fact, not only depends on the efficiency of employees, but also relies on many aspects such as reduction of cost, sale of productions, strategy of leader etc. Furthermore, implementing this system is also a spending. It is entirely possible that install this electronic monitor will take a lot of money and we have to put some staff to manage the software. These will take a lot of money and betray the arguer's goal. Moreover, maybe the software will reduce the employees' computer speed. It will lead to reduce productivity.

To sum up, as it stands, the argument lacks credibility because the evidence cited in the analysis does not lend strong support to what the arguer maintains. To make it logically acceptable, the arguer needs to provide us specific information about this software and more data about the employees' productivity. If the argument includes the given factors discussed above, it would have been more thorough and adequate.

cindy4580UID: 2588572

我是已经比较靠后的留言了 不知道楼主看不看得到呢 我这是第一次的argument
多谢了！
The following appeared in a letter to the editor of the Clearview newspaper.
"In the next mayoral election, residents of Clearview should vote for Ann Green, who is a member of the Good Earth Coalition, rather than for Frank Braun, a member of the Clearview town council, because the current members are not protecting our environment. For example, during the past year the number of factories in Clearview has doubled, air pollution levels have increased, and the local hospital has treated 25 percent more patients with respiratory illnesses. If we elect Ann Green, the environmental problems in Clearview will certainly be solved."
我的作文：
The argument recommends that residents of Clearview should elect Ann Green other than Frank Braun as the next mayor.To justify this point, the argument's writer cites exmaples that Clearview town council which Frank Braun belongs to do not protect environment, and he also asserts that the other candidate is sure to solve the environmental problems.But I find this letter unconvincing to me for some reasons.
First, the writer says that factories in Clearview has doubled in the past year, while the air pollution levels has increased.But these facts and the lack of environment-protecting sense of town council members have not necessarily causical relationship due to some possiblities the writer maybe ingores. It is entirely possible that in order to develop the economy in Clearview, the number of factories in Clearview has to be doubled to increse the production, and even that these factories's products are environmentlly friend and without any harmful waste to both enviroment and people during the whole manufacture procedure is of much possibility. As for the increase of the air pollution .maybe it is evitable even if the best measure has been take to control the air pollution, or maybe the airpollution increases due not to these factories but to the increase of private cars in Clearview. Then the writer cites the data that  the local hospital has treated 25 percent more patients with respiratory illnesses.Herhpas that the weather was apt to cause the respiratory illness to people , or herhaps a respiratory flu had  been  popular nationwide for a long time in the past year.
Secondly,even if that the Clearview town members are not willing to protect environment when it comes to the economical interest, Frank Braun is of great possiblity that he is on the side of them despite he is a member of Clearview town council as they are.Maybe he is waiting for a chance that he can hold the power to protect environment and solve the environmental problems.
Finally, taking the assumption that Frank BRaun is willing to develop economy at any cost regardless of the impact on the enviroment, should the residents of Clearview elect Ann Green in the next election? Lake of the edivence that Ann Grenn is a person for environmental protection and willing to solve the environmental problems equally diminish the suggestion.

cloverfeiUID: 2594497

TOPIC: ARGUMENT147 - The following appeared in an editorial in a business magazine.

"Although the sales of Whirlwind video games have declined over the past two years, a recent survey of video-game players suggests that this sales trend is about to be reversed. The survey asked video-game players what features they thought were most important in a video game. According to the survey, players prefer games that provide lifelike graphics, which require the most up-to-date computers. Whirlwind has just introduced several such games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old, the age-group most likely to play video games. It follows, then, that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months."
WORDS: 432         TIME: 00:41:42          DATE: 2009/2/7 11:06:42

The conclusion endorsed in the argument is that the sales of the Whirlwind video games are entirely  possibe  to augment gargantuanly after the decline over the past two years. The sales trend is to be reversed owning to the new policy which has been announced derived from plausibe support . The argument is well presented, however, close scrunity of the facts, the argument becomes unsubstantial immediately.
To begin with, the author is fascinated by the seemingly prosperous future of the sales of Whirlwind by the new lifelike graphics it has introduced which derived from a plausible recent survey by viedo-game players, also present a frivolous  proposal through an extensive advertisng directed at the agebracket of 10 to 25, the success on the sales of Whirlwind is just around the corner. Doubtlessly, it is laudable for the manager to take measures to ameliorate the situation the company are facing now. However, an investigation is needed to prove why the situation is so sluggish befor the rush decision is made. It’s entirely possible that the former games developed by the company required high-level instruments such as advanced hardware. From what I have mentioned above, the newly developed lifelike graphics programe is useless at all, what’s worse, it may backfire due to the up-to-date computer it relies on.   
On the second place, we can see the absurdity of the arguer’s idea that the people from 10 to 25 which the advertising directed at are definitely absored in the lifelike graphics. However, the arguer provides no evidence that this is the case. It is common sense that the youth may go into rapture at the mere mention of video-games which are based upon irritative and exciting plot. Not until we are made aware of the detailed information about lifelike graphics can we draw the conclusion safely. It’s entirely possible that the plot based on the lifelike graphics is tiresome and disappointing for the youth. If this is the case, the outcome may be backfire.
Furthermore, the clients need to update their computer system to play this kind of game the company has developed while they do not need to take this complex issue into account playing other games. Although the games are more appealing, the clients will probably think further when it comes to so practical things.
To wrap up, the conclusion is less valid after the careful examination, if the company wants to reverse the sluggish situation, more efforts should be made other than do things so gratuitous as the recommendation has mentioned above. At any rate, some points I questioned above should be taken into consideration.
谢谢楼主   马上就要考了，心里慌呀

kay8815UID: 2668603

https://bbs.gter.net/thread-995323-1-1.html
楼主帮我看看 我自己改过一遍 应该不会有语法拼写错误 有详细的中文提纲 谢谢

xueyiUID: 2647060

why楼主开了贴后不见人呢……
又why楼主没动静怎么还有那么多人贴文呢……