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[求助] comeon作文小组——weenbopper11月8日作业 [复制链接]

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发表于 2008-11-9 11:02:44 |显示全部楼层
Agree or disagree: High schools,colleges and universities  should spend less time teaching about general subjects and spend more time teaching about preparing for future career and jobs

The lessons in high schools, colleges and universities can be generally categorized into two groups, general subjects and subjects that prepare for jobs. When it comes to whether general subjects are more important than the other, people have divergent opinions due to their distinct backgrounds and experiences. As for me, I agree with the statement that general subjects deserve more time spent on it, my reasons go as follow.

First and foremost, to some indispensable skills in work field, the theories, calculation and data in general subjects are their foundation. How can we build skyscraper without a solid infrastructure?  In this case, the knowledge in the general subjects is the infrastructure. For example, only through a comprehensive and profound learning of the mathematical theories and calculation can we make a reasonable and well-rounded analysis on various economic phenomenon, only after knowing the abstract theories and difficult issues in the physics book can the electronic engineers design a functional electronic device, only being familiar with the structure of the complicated poem can a poet write a elegant poem. All of these are just the tip of an iceberg for the work-related skills that are based on general subjects.

Subsequently, numerous vital skills can not be conveyed in class, say interpersonal skills. As a member of this multicultural and globalized world, social abilities are a vital yet hard problem for everyone, especially for the newly graduates, because hardly can the class play any roles in conveying these skills. Usually, we can observe that some newly and gorgeous graduates can not adapt themselves to the new circumstances, however, neither the college nor those students should be blamed. Because the practical work field is the, and the only, class can teach these skills.

Admittedly, we should also pay enough attention to the classes that teach about preparing for future career, after all, our unanimous aim for studying a so long time lies in finding a decent job.
However, it is unilateral and haste to judge that those classless are much more important than general subjects.

In a nutshell, general subjects play a significant role in supporting the indispensable work-related skills, which can not be simply conveyed by class, and surely deserve much more time spent on it.

[ 本帖最后由 weenbopper 于 2008-11-9 12:26 编辑 ]

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发表于 2008-11-9 11:38:00 |显示全部楼层

The lessons in high schools, colleges and universities can be generally categorized into two groups, general subjects and subjects that prepare for jobs. When it comes to whether general subjects are more important than the other(s), people have divergent opinions due to their distinct backgrounds and experiences. As for me, I agree with the statement that general subjects deserve more time spend(spent) on it, my reasons go as follow.

First and foremost, to some indispensable skills in work field, the theories, calculation and data in general subjects are their foundation. How can we build skyscraper without a solid infrastructure?  In this case, the knowledge in the general subjects is the infrastructure. For example, only through a comprehensive and profound learning of the mathematical theories and calculation can we make a reasonable and well-rounded analysis on various economic phenomenon, only after knowing the abstract theories and difficult issues in the physics book can the electronic engineers design a functional electronic device, only being familiar with the structure of the complicated poem can a poet write a elegant
poem(one代替就好了).(还有,这些排比句间打句号或分号) All of these(指代不明) are just the tip of an iceberg for the work-related skills that are based on general subjects.


Subsequently, numerous vital skills can not be conveyed in class,
say interpersonal skills(移到can的前面去). As a member of this multicultural and globalized world, social abilities are a vital yet hard problem for everyone, especially for the newly graduates, because hardly can the class play any roles in conveying these skills. Usually, we can observe that some newly and gorgeous graduates can not adapt themselves to the new circumstances, however, neither the college nor those students should be blamed. Because the practical work field is, and the only, class can teach these skills.(此句不通)


Admittedly, we should also pay enough attention to the classes that teach about preparing for future career, at least our unanimous aim for studying a so long time lies in finding a
descent job(什么意思???).
However, it is unilateral and haste to judge that those classless are much more important.I could not understand this sentence......

In a nutshell, general subjects play a significant role in supporting the indispensable work-related skills, which can not be simply conveyed by class, and surely deserve much more time spent on it.

结构很明确,排比句用的很好。大部分的词汇都使用的很准确
个人感觉前面一部分写的不错,但到了后面,尤其是倒数第二段我完全不懂你的意思。前半部分没什么大问题,而后半部分看起来差别很大。是因为时间不够?如果是,就多练练打字吧。如果不是时间问题,就要保持细心,写完之后要好好检查。

祝托福好运~~

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RE: comeon作文小组——weenbopper11月8日作业 [修改]

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