求狠拍!Delta test 1的作文

l_princeUID：2519393

Arguments about what children should learn at their early ages have been around for quite a long time. Some suggest that children should learn some arts, others do not regard this as a necessity. In my opinion, although children's interests vary a lot, subjects like art, music and drama should be a part of every child's basic education because of cognitive and intellectual purposes.

Different children differ in interests and hobbies. Therefore, opportunities are high that children who show little interests in arts. For those children. it may be a little bit boring to have art lessons. Thus, it seems a bit unwise to apply the art eduction to every one.

Despite the above, subjects like drawing, singing, dancing and others are of particular importance for children because it serves as one of the first approaches for children to know the the whole new beautiful world. When I was about six, I was sent to a drawing class. Although I had not a bit talent for drawing, I totally lost myself in my drawing suns, trees, flowers, birds, houses, smiling faces, and so on... All of this painted me a beautiful picture of the world as well as made me very happy. And I am quite sure that most people have similar wonderful feelings about their experiences with other forms of art at their childhood. Undoubtedly, it is crucial to give every child such an opportunity to be cognitive about the world.

Furthermore, children become smart when they learn these art lessons. According to a research by an educational organization, children who have learned any form of art show better performance in the school exams than those have have not encountered art in their early ages. The reason is that art may serve as a stimulation to some specific areas in the brain for the children in their process of learning.

To sum up, dispite the fact that every child's interest may differ, it is still reasonable to apply art education to every child's basic education. I am quite sure that this would not only make children clever but also provide children with pictures of a beautiful world.

word count: 358
注：第一次掐时间在电脑上练习，感觉不太好啊，应该比以前写得差不少。能不能指出以下不足和努力的方向？大概半个月以后考试，求高人狠拍！

l_princeUID：2519393

题目给忘了:)

Topic: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Subjects such as art, music, and drama should be a part of every child's basic edution.

mpromanusUID：2565872

Arguments about what children should learn at their early ages have been around for quite a long time. Some suggest that children should learn some arts, others do not regard this as a necessity. In my opinion, although children's interests vary a lot, subjects like art, music and drama should be a part of every child's basic education because of cognitive and intellectual purposes.

Different children differ in interests and hobbies. Therefore, opportunities are high that children who show little interests in arts (句子不完整). For those children, it may be a little bit boring to have art lessons (You may well use 'art lessons may be a little boring'. Use direct, active sentences as much as possible; make it easier on your examiner.). Thus, it seems a bit unwise to apply the art eduction to every one.(This is totally uncalled for. You've already stated your opinion in the beginning paragraph, the next logical thing to do is to explain your reasons, not to consider opposing opinions. If you want to discuss opposing views, considerations, limitations or anything that do not directly support your opinion, wait until the second last paragraph.)

Despite the above, subjects like drawing, singing, dancing and others are of particular importance for children because it they serves as one of the first approaches for children to know the the whole new beautiful world. When I was about six, I was sent to a drawing class. Although I had not a bit talent for drawing, I totally lost myself in my drawing suns, trees, flowers, birds, houses, smiling faces, and so on... All of these painted me a beautiful picture of the world as well as made me very happy. And I am quite sure that most people have similar wonderful feelings about their experiences with other forms of art at during their childhood. Undoubtedly, it is crucial to give every child such an opportunity to be cognitive (I don't see how this came about. You've been talking about how beautiful and wonderful the world-drawing experience was, not how it gave you perceptions about the world. If you want to demonstrate cognitive abilities, your example would probably be something like: you start to put what you see into your drawings, and that in turn stimulates your observations so you become more sensitive to your surroundings than children of your age.) about the world.

Furthermore, children become smarter (I hope you didn't mean to imply that children who don't learn arts are dumb :)) when they learn these art lessons. According to a research by an educational organization (who? when? how? and why did you know their results? - Fake quotations are surprisingly obvious, and trust me when I say your examiners would be able to spot them.), children who have learned any form of art show better performance in the school exams than those have have not encountered art in their early ages. The reason is that art may serve as a stimulation to some specific areas in of the children's brains that are used the children in their process of learning.

To sum up, dispite the fact that every child's interest may differ, it is still reasonable to apply add art education to every child's basic education. I am quite sure that this would not only make children clever but also provide children with pictures of a beautiful world (I thought you were talking about 'cognitive'. This looks like another hint that you didn't mean 'cognitive about the world' when you used the word).

总结：

1. As said, positive reasoning should follow the opening paragraph. Any negative reasoning should come only before the last paragraph. It's unusual to start by refuting opposing views unless your essay is written in response to some other essay.

2. I highly suspect that when you say 'cognitive about the world' you meant to say '感受世界', which would actually be 'feel the world'. 'Cognition' is about conscious INTELLECTUAL activity, awareness, thought, and generally how the mind processes information and applies knowledge to that information - therefore it's different from 'beautiful', 'wonderful', which are senses and feelings. It's very true that art education can stimulate senses and enhance emotional capacity, but whether it helps to improve cognition - for example, the speed of learning - is still subject to studies.

Now, with that, this discussion about art education and cognition is actually your 2nd point (children become smarter after having art lessons). Therefore you did have different points but your summary of points are somehow mixed up because of vocabulary misuse. Please keep in mind that clarity and accuracy are first priorities in essays.

yanglinsheepUID：2493965

我也写了。。大家看看改改给点建议吧。。
Topic:
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Subjects such as art, music, and drama should be a part of every child's basic education.

Nowadays colorful childhood with diversity and freedom is quietly whisked away by the fierce competition in society. Instead of chasing on the playground or chatting with friends after school, children are bound up with numerous books and homework. Schools emphasizing significance of getting high score to further education at higher schools, the young are taking a wide scope of compulsory courses, from biology to physics, from language to mathematics, but arts is excluded. Is these so-called “fun courses” really a waste of time? Surely NOT!

What comes to the top of my list is that the art and music course help students free from the great burdens of books and papers, relaxing them physically and soothing them mentally. On one hand, to enjoy the classes, they no longer sit still in the classroom. Instead, children can walk around, relax and exercise themselves, by acting of drama, by experience of sculpture, by performance of violins, and so on and so forth. On the other hand, the undeniable influence of arts in human’s character-building gains wide-spreading acknowledgement. Simply for example, the appreciation of a piece of music can teach the kids to calm down and try to taste the inside of melody itself and the composer as well. With full concentration, students can totally bath in the music world and forget the pressure and worries. Don’t you think any of us, children not excluded, needs such relaxation regularly?

What’s more, educating children with art classes also benefits the school. Taking arts classes is a splendid way for the young to dig out their potential talents, which may be buried by countless reference books and test papers. Exceeding the limitation of family situation, children can savor the arts at school equally. In these daily courses with peaceful atmosphere, kids probably find their true interest and talent in certain aspect, for example, the sacred realm of painting or the glorious field of singing. As we all know, just like Lang Lang and Beethoven, distinguished musicians and artists, the past and present, at home and abroad, all start their career at the very early age. Therefore, in some sense, far more than providing fun and laugh, schools with these fun classes will be a paradise where a talented artist is born.

One more thing that can not be left out from my concerns is the promotion of international communication development of these subjects. Today, competitions, shows and parties in various fields are held annually all around the world, which play a significant role in pursuits of a more peaceful and more harmony world. Good international relationship ascribes to arts, not to say good relationships between schools.

To sum up, subjects such as art, music and drama should hold a stably high position in every child’s basic education.

yanglinsheepUID：2493965

我貌似没办法调整字体大小。。为什么呢。。。

字体比较小，大家辛苦了。。。多多指教~

l_princeUID：2519393

原帖由 mpromanus 于 2008-11-16 17:08 发表
Arguments about what children should learn at their early ages have been around for quite a long time. Some suggest that children should learn some arts, others do not regard this as a necessity. ...

多谢老师指点,我会加油的!!!