考完托福了，跟大家分享一下有帮助的网站（响应版主号召，本帖现在开始为大家改作文）

腾格里旅狼UID: 2573178

怎么没人发了……我又被忽视了……

阿泰UID: 209473

没有，你主动出击吧;d:

阿泰UID: 209473

占楼传图:o

[ 本帖最后由 阿泰 于 2008-12-30 16:14 编辑 ]

jinjxuUID: 2519077

作文在下面的链接中，请帮忙修改，谢谢先。

https://bbs.gter.net/thread-905801-1-1.html

腾格里旅狼UID: 2573178

发到这里来，我给你改改

阿泰UID: 209473

你起的还挺早;d:

腾格里旅狼UID: 2573178

这两天不知道怎么回事，晚上老是睡不着，看了“非诚勿扰”，感觉挺温馨的。

阿泰UID: 209473

没看，最近在看书和整理材料，特别忙;d:

腾格里旅狼UID: 2573178

斑竹在国外读书么？还是在国内啊？

阿泰UID: 209473

guo nei

冰棒汽水ECHOUID: 2289028

:o

阿泰UID: 209473

:mad

jinjxuUID: 2519077

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Teachers should be
paid as much as doctors, lawyers, and business leaders. Use specific reasons
and examples to support your answer.


Currently, there arises a fierce discussion about whether teachers should have a higher pay as much as doctors, lawyers, and business leaders. Some contend that teachers cannot create as much value as doctors or lawyers do, while others state that teachers bear even more responsibility than any other jobs. In my opinion, teachers are the most valuable people in the world, who play an indispensable role in cultivating students.


First of all, in the most developing moment of students, teachers are the most important people who would influence them not only in the knowledge obtaining, but also in the moral developing. Most of students stay with their teachers longer than their own parents during the studying times. Thus, every action and every word of teachers’ would have an unimaginable impact on the students. I have such an experience. When I was a secondary school student, I didn’t do very well on my English learning. And every week, I should hand in a weekly diary to my teacher. One week, after my diary returned, I opened it and saw some words on my book. It was said: dear Jinjing, you are the smartest student in our class, and I believe you can make a big achievement in future, now start from the English class. Till now, I can still recall teacher’s words, which always give me a strong incentive in my learning and working.


Secondly, teachers always spend most of their time taking caring of students, which make them leave no time for their own family. Still the example of my teacher works. There were 50 students in my class when I was a secondary school student. Many of the boys were so naughty that our teacher had to pay a visit to our families every other day. Thus, our teacher had less time staying with her own little daughter. She was a good teacher indeed, but, in her daughter’s eyes, she may not be a good mother. She shared all her love to her students, and led us to the right direction.


Due to the above discussion, it is indisputable that teachers are the most respectable people in the world. They truly make much more contributions to our whole society than lawyers and business leaders do. Thus, they should get a higher pay as much as lawyers and doctors.

腾格里旅狼UID: 2573178

语法的问题你自己解决吧，我就不给你改了，我超级讨厌语法，而且坛子里的语法牛人太多，我就不献丑了……原谅我吧。
说一下作文：
1，首先，如果不看内容仅从表面上看，我不会给你很高的分数，因为你的作文就是一根萝卜，上面大，下面小，看起来既不均衡，给人的感觉是你在写完第一段以后就没有什么说的了。
2，我看过一些国外学生写的优秀作文，他们一般都在两面阐述自己的观点。针对你这一片文章来看，你可以在第一段用少量的语言阐述以下为什么有的人认为律师医生等要比教师多拿钱，这样能够给考官一个印象：“这个人能够从两个方面思考问题，而不仅仅是片面的考虑”。
3，你第二段的阐述用的不是很好，这里要说明一下，你如果注意看一下美国的新闻和小说就会发现，老外是提倡学生多和父母儿不是老师呆在一起的。所以你这样写的话容易造成误解。
4，你的长句子太多，纵观你的整片文章，发现你的长句子太多，英语里面的考试类文章，一般长句子都很少，写几个展示一下能力就好了。满篇跑长句子外国人会很崩溃，考虑到这个有可能崩溃的人要给你评分，还是少写为妙。
5，有一些句子比较令人疑惑，比如：“Many of the boys were so naughty that our teacher had to pay a visit to our families every other day.”我想你应该是说家访？但是为什么老师要pay a visit to our families 而不是 pay a visit to their families?这样指代的错用很容易造成分数的丢失。

综合来看：这篇文章我会给你fair以下的分数。因为整篇文章虽然逻辑清晰，但是阐述问题和理论部分并不是很透彻。比如你可以在第二段加上一些具体的时间计算，比如老师每天要话多少小时陪学生，多少小时陪自己的孩子。这样一来，不但能够是你的文章阐述更清晰，更可以增加大量的细节。祝好运。

pb030920UID: 2418999

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People can learn more from watching TV than reading books.

As the social development, the TV programme exerts such a significant impact on ordinary people’s daily life that some people consider that people can learn more from TV programme than reading books. However, I have contention with this statement for the reason that books have its unique role in broadcasting knowledge that no other means can substitute.

Admittedly, with the assistance of modern technology, TV programmes provide people much more vision impact than any other medias. Some grand scene which is exactly difficult for even most experienced writers to describe can be expressed vividly by TV programme. One apt example is the opening ceremony of Olympic game this summer. Through live broadcasting, the magnificent openning ceremony allures millions of people’s eyes all over the world. Besides, TV can give people latest infromation in a much straightforward and understandable form. And that is often the reason that many people prefer watching TV programme.

However, TV due to its inner drawbacks is not as effective as book in spreading knowledge. Firstly, when watching TV, people always passively accept that the constant flow of information, but are givenn little chance to analyze this information they get, since when they try to stop and think it over, they would find they are missing other important information which keeps coming up. And this deficiendy would not only be counterproductive to learning, but could also damage people’s ability of effective thinking. While reading books, people can stop and analyze the information conveyed by the writer forming their personal ideas. In such a way, not only are  information and knowledges obtained, but also is the ability of independent and effective thinking cultivated.

The second point I have contention with the statement lies in that compared with reading books, some skills that is quite crucial in individual’s development can not be imparted during watching TV. Actually, human talents of abstract thought, logical dialogue, philosophy and writing style can be acquired only through the reading, digesting and rumunation of novels, texts and essays. After all, no one would expect to mater the skill of writing just by watching TV without reading classical composition of famous writers. Many great writers ascribe their success to their comprehensive reading during their life time. Moreover, the major means for scientists to communicate their ideas and discoveries is to write paper, publish it and read paper from others for the simple reason that it is the most effective and efficient way to express and communicate their abstract but comprhensive ideas and perspectives thoroughly.  

In sum, I completely disagree with the statement that people can learn more from watching TV rather than reading books since only by reading book people can absorb information effectively and cultivating their independent thinking both of which are prior to passively accepting large amount information that is occurred when solely watching TV programme.