考完托福了，跟大家分享一下有帮助的网站（响应版主号召，本帖现在开始为大家改作文）

88michaelUID: 2400770

Topic：Does modern technology help students learn more information and learn it more quickly?



In response to this point, some people may say that students could learn more information and learn knowledge more quickly through modern technology. But is it? Close analysis could not bear out this point.

First of all, it is always top of the list of my viewpoint that students cannot concentrate on the information due to the various games and the colorful background. To make my demonstration more profoundly and comprehensively, I would like to cite what one of my favorite examples has mentioned. In some developed country, students can study at home on internet. Whereas they always waste much time to play PC games. Not only does it disturb study schedule, but make students' eyes poor day by day as well. Sometimes you may say colorful background stimulate the desire of the study. Yet students, especially young students have an inert, which they couldn't control themselves well and spend more time watching pictures. In a conclusion, modern technology, which has various functions, always absorbs students' attention, so that students spend less time on study.

Moreover, an authoritative survey provides an adequate justification for my point. According to 100 studies carried out in 10 major cities, students spent more than 50% time to do other things when studying on the internet, listening CDs, watching movies, playing PC games, you name it. Maybe they are eager to focus on assignments primarily, whereas entertainments make people relaxed without thinking the school work, the jobs and all troubles in the live and give students an imagination that the world is plentiful of wonders and has few contests. In sum, spending less time on useful parts has a negative effect on students' studying.

In addition, it is an equally adequate essential point which deserves people's attention that the knowledge of all kinds of aspects are abstract and have less logical when we study through modern technology. In the classroom, taking examples to explain details always was used by teachers, and then students find that the questions are concrete and imaging. If the teacher is enthusiastic, always making students have a pleasant atmosphere and the comfortable feeling, students would be encouraged to explore the problems in this field.

Admittedly, it may be true that modern technology is convenient to use and have more resource in any areas. However, this alone does not provide sufficient support to claim that students get more information and study more efficiently through modern technology. Actually it is too weak and specific to strengthen the argument that learning more information and remember more quickly can be made true by modern technology.

All in all, some people may still remain unconvinced, the points that I have analyzed at least make them more aware of the various dimensions of the issue under discussion. There is little double that more and more people will come to realize that modern technology is not helpful to study, which provides more problems, studying inefficiently, having no used information, keeping harmful on eyes and so on.   


楼主辛苦了！！！:handshake

thunderstarUID: 2491609

大哥们，都来排山倒海哦
题目：
If you were asked to send one thing representing your country to an international exhibition, what would you choose? Why? Use specific reasons and details to explain your choice.
==========================================================================================================
Response：
I live in Beijing, which is the famous metropolis with long history and rich culture. There're a lot of special things in Beijing that reflect pieces of history and culture. But in my opinion, the most precious and representative thing is the Olympic Mascot -- the Five Friendlies.
The Five Friendlies are five pandas who are named "Beibei", "Jingjing", "Huanhuan", "Yingying", "Nini" respectively. The combination of five names can form a Chinese sentence: "Beijing Huanying Ni", which in English is "Welcome to Beijing". The Five Friendlies convey the hope that Chinese people welcome people all around world to come to Beijing, enjoy the magnificent landscape and delicious Chinese food and even the great history. We Chinese are all willing to make friends with people all over the world.
The reason why the Olympic Mascot is decided to be panda is that panda is the most precious animal in China. As the pandas only inhabit in certain parts of China, they are very unique. Thus they are the most representative animals in China and sometimes are considered the symbol of China. Several years ago, the number of panda in China used to reduce day by day. As we didn’t want to lose this kind of cute and beautiful animal, the government made some policies to protect panda from extinction. After decades of progression, pandas are successfully saved. Now the number of panda is much larger than before.
I want to send the Five Friendlies to the international exhibition to commemorate the athletes, who have participated in the Olympic Game and done the excellent job. This time, thanks to the great efforts they made, the Chinese athletes have won 51 gold medals, 21 silver medals and 28 bronze medals. That's really the historical moment because China won the first place of the total medal rankings for the first time. Besides, with the Olympic slogans "One world, one dream", I want to express my highest hope that everyone all over the world join together. We help each other, respect each other and love each other. People with different colors, religions and culture are all in one to make our world as paradise.

阿泰UID: 209473

好好修改

过两天给你申请勋章带;)

冰棒汽水ECHOUID: 2289028

貌似你积分暴涨啊?还是我很久没注意了?
whatever:o 请客吃饭或者发钱大大滴

阿泰UID: 209473

你先来十篇精华贴再谈发钱的事:lol

腾格里旅狼UID: 2573178

1，你写的这篇文章看得我一下这就迷茫了……题目问你“你想回到过去的时间和地点”，你说会到1986家乡，原因居然是享受童年时光？这个题目有一点迷惑人，我感觉他要强调的是你在年龄不变的情况下回到过去，但是我也不敢确定，因此建议最好在第一段解释一下，比如 “我最想会到1986念得家乡……重新成为一个孩子等等，解释一下年龄是否改变会更好……
2，我很欣赏你的句子，尤其是长短搭配。让人读起来不是很累，而且”funny it was"是句点睛，如果排除上面的因素，看到这里我汇给你26分以上。
3，第三段写的感情很真实，非常棒！
总体：你的句子搭配和写作文的感觉都非常好，希望是你真实水平的流露。但是选的观点有些矛盾：老外考虑问题很简单，他们认为说服政府保护环境应该是大人的事，但是你最后的“想享受童年乐趣有写明了你到哪个时代以后是个孩子……所以非常矛盾，如果我是评卷老师，最多给你20分。但是如果你能够把原因修改一下，我忍为26分以上没有问题。

腾格里旅狼UID: 2573178

哎……典型的模板作文……貌似这个模板我看到过，不过只要内容写得好，用模板不会惹评卷老师动杀机……
这篇文章最多23分……你用了大段大段的说明，但是却没有实际例子，看起来这叫一个空洞啊……我都不想往下看。而且你文章中出现了很多数字却没有说明出处，就算你认为ETS不会真去查这些数据的真实性，你不标明数字出处依然有可能会背叛为抄袭……
在这里强调一下，托福中有写作文背叛抄袭并不是因为模板雷同……美国人没有这么想不开，真正的原始是举例子不写出处，比如你这篇文章，本来”大众情人“模板就会使ETS很不爽，然后又发现你用数字不写出处，弄不好就是抄袭……
不过你的观点还是挺好的，文章中的唯一亮点……

腾格里旅狼UID: 2573178

不要在这里扯了……奥运5福娃都是熊猫？先去调查一下在写行么？
这直接导致你下面的内容全部写的离谱……虽然老外什么也不懂，但是他们对吉祥物可是非常了解的。你这中低级失误会导致你的作文15分都是一大关。

不过你第一段是个亮点，写的很赞。

88michaelUID: 2400770

楼主你说的及是:handshake
你让我突然明白“说明”“举例”，太久不用了，都还给老师了;d:
第一篇作文，确实是先背了模板，然后套的；往后会注意这个，提高自己是关键。
关于具有说服力的例子，数字也会寻觅一些先背背，(*^__^*) 嘻嘻……，实力凹，确实得先背前辈的精华:loveliness:
再谢谢一下，不要嫌多哦！！！

腾格里旅狼UID: 2573178

我认为你不如准备一些列子，然后就说是自己的经历，但是不要找太扯的，比如写执着和奉献精神，你可以写你为了准备出国花费了多少努力，但是千万不可以举“我曾经为了写出医学著作遍尝百草，最后终于写出了《什么刚什么木》。呵呵，开个玩笑
另外，数字最好不要用，很容易被判为抄袭。用的话最好写出出处……

偷闲透气UID: 2148172

谢谢～这篇文章是我自己写的，根据你的意见，我再改改。THANK YOU SO MUCH!!:handshake

偷闲透气UID: 2148172

我把最后一段的理由改了改，希望这样好些：

In my memory, peolpe, who lived in my hometown in 1986, had a comfortable and easy life. They did not need to worry about their
housing and work problems. Because local government, at that time, alloted apartments or houses to people who lived in my hometown
and also provided job opportunities to people who planed to work. However, especially this year, we meet the worst economic depression
worldwidly. I feel that pressures coming form my life and work, such as house loan, work load,  like a mountain on my shoulder. I become easier to be angry and a little tired of current life. I really want to return back to my hometown in 1986, and I think it is the best way for me
to enjoy my life without pressure. Then, I will have time to  play with my little best friend kelly, go fishing with my grandpa and tell him my secrets.These are the greatest things that I can imagine.

88michaelUID: 2400770

其实我和他老人家是同行;d: ;d: ;d:
这是我的综合作文，在帮忙看看给些意见吧？
The reading material provides some reasons to explain the disappearance of a group of highly intelligent and creative humans, which were called the Anasazi. In the listening material, the professor discusses some points about the vanishing of the humans' culture, which casts doubt on the reading material.

In the reading material, historians suggested that the Anasazi's disappearance attributed to severe summer drought, then listed three reasons.  First of all, the Anasazi abandoned their village at the same time of a sixty-year summer drought. The region in the Anasazi was so severe that the cope could not grow. So the Anasazi must choose between starvation and migration. Moreover, irrigation system have been discovered, which evidented shortages of water in the Anasazi well. But global warming was so severe that the Anaszi have to leave. In addition, there is a confict between the overgrown population in the tribe and the limit of local resources. A major natural disaster has occured so that the Anasazi abruptly changed their habitation, citing in the reading material.

In the listening material, the professor provides some opposite ideas. First, he said that the drought is not the reason of the disappearance. Because there are many trees living during 150 years. If the Anasazi suffer global warmer, the trees are not likely alive until day. Second, the professor rebuked the function of the irrigation system, which provided in the reading material. Did the professor explain that humans built irrigation system to adapt the drought environment, not to address global warmer. Finally, the professor said that the reason of drought is a hypothesis. It is probable that overuse of the farmland, disease, or other reasons.

In a sum, the viewpoints in the listening material have a conflict with them in the reading material.

:handshake 谢谢！

chineseladyUID: 2403976

大学是否要开更挑战的课程？  超了10分钟不说，就敲了这么点字！！躲起来算了！

I tend to assure that universities should not assign other challenge curriculums due to some of the lessons for some students are already not easy to tackle. University should focus on how to forward professional skills and capability of communication, which will assist those young people after graduate. Therefore, it is not wise enough for colleges to start other challenge classes in case it will bring pressure.

First of all, it is not reasonable to add special curriculums before have a research among students. Because of different personalities from different people, the definition of challenge will be distinctive in their minds. Currently, graduate students in any majors have to take spoken English classes. And some have international teachers. It is hard to say that every one would like that lesson or consider it will be useful. If several specific young men major in biology of science in the hope to be scientists, then they may prefer to spend more time in lab. Also, they may not be interested in oral presentation even in Chinese. Therefore, for those people, spoken English class is challenge they should face and deal with.

Furthermore, it is hard to forecast challenge curriculum will benefit students or not in their working positions and life. University should consider more on students’ futures. The class concerning professional skills or how to reduce stress, we could name it practical curriculum. Meanwhile, students in university are adults and should possess ability to choose what is kind of knowledge they need to learn. They will do self-study if think have more books to read. Other challenge curriculum cannot meet students’ requirement instead leading to more stress.

In conclusion, it is unreasonable for colleges to add challenge lessons as students with distinct desires and dreams about futures, new curriculums outside their majors may not be helpful for them.

chineseladyUID: 2403976

LZ 辛苦了！我就是你曾经说的哦，1.2段好像枪手写的，后面惨不忍睹:eek:  帮忙了！我是阿泰介绍的:eek: