考完托福了，跟大家分享一下有帮助的网站（响应版主号召，本帖现在开始为大家改作文）

腾格里旅狼UID: 2573178

版主吧文章题目发上来:handshake

阿泰UID: 209473

你读读就知道写的是啥了;d:

阿泰UID: 209473

收到了没？

腾格里旅狼UID: 2573178

受到了，算了，我回来给改了吧。……没办法，谁让你是头儿啊……:o

james011137UID: 2280989

原帖由 腾格里旅狼 于 2009-1-5 03:04 发表
1，中国人写作文有个通病，就是不喜欢标明出处，如果你写你大学的校训我不反对，但要注明这个校训的出处，至少要写出来大学名称。比如： ”I have a dream"(Martin, Qinghua Univeristy) 当然，这只是一个 ...

我当时想着写出处来着，有几个单词不会拼了 就没写:funk:

阿泰UID: 209473

恩，已经是中级会员了

腾格里旅狼UID: 2573178

我标题写明改作文，坛子里面还有人发”作文求拍……:handshake “

阿泰UID: 209473

看见了

腾格里旅狼UID: 2573178

1，这篇文章1，2段写的非常不错，尤其是第一段，很有美国学生的感觉，虽然句子不是很舒服，但是结构出来了。第二段的例子是个亮点，北京奥运大家都知道，只要不是太扯的例子，和北京奥运沾上边就会显得很真实……
2，第三段和前两段的落差感觉如同大学生和小学生。不知道作者是没有东西可写还是犯懒不想写了，这段文字阻止混乱，看的我迷茫了半天。直到现在我也没有想明白。你第二段还在讲的意思是虽然公共交通系统费钱，但是考虑到种种原因支持他还是很值的的。但是紧接着就在第三段写，公共交通系统能够帮助政府减免费用，而且没有一点解释……
3，最后一段标准的模板式结尾。不说了
评论：如果都能按照1，2段写，虽然文章不是非常好，但是那个25分应该没什么问题。看了你的第三段和最后一段，我居然感觉你一二段是找枪手代谢的……不说也罢。努力朝1，2段靠拢吧。

阿泰UID: 209473

FAINT!

这不是我写的！！


这个CHINESELADY写的好不好！！！

我是让你给她改的:funk:

腾格里旅狼UID: 2573178

我又没说是你写的……莫非你很强很强的说？

阿泰UID: 209473

;)

偷闲透气UID: 2148172

题目：If you could go back to some time and place in the past, when and where would you go? Why? Use specific reasons and details to support your choice.

Recently, there are some documentary TV programs stating real stories happened in China in the1980’s. These programs remind me of some impressive things at that time. So, if I had a chance to go back to some time and place in the past, I would go back to my hometown in 1986. Then, I will try my best to let local government know the necessity of protecting those beautiful nature resources which have disappeared nowadays, and spend more time with my grandparents, and enjoy my childhood life without work or life pressure.

There was a beautiful lake in front of my house. Every summer holiday, my best friend, kelly, and I always swam in the lake and caught fish. How funny it was! However, with the development of industry in my hometown, many factories have been built up since 1986, and polluted the lake. Nowadays, you will smell a kind of undesirable odor when you walk around this terrible lake. So, if I went back in 1986, I would tell the local government to control the speed of constructing factories around the lake, and also tell the government how to use advanced technologies which have been adopted by the current local government to deal with pollutions.

My grandparents were very healthy in 1986, although they were already 75 years old at that time. We love each other so much. I still remember that in order to make a doll timely for me as my birthday present, my grandmother did not sleep the whole night to make that cute doll before my birthday party. However, in 1987, my grandmother dead because of stomach cancer, then my grandpa passed away. I really miss them, and want to spend more time with them and tell them how much I love them. So, if I had an opportunity, I would see my grandparents again in 1986 and enjoy my time with them.

Children do not have a sense of pressure coming form work or life. I believe I do not have such a sense of pressure when I was 5 years old neither. Maybe at that time, I even didn't know what the word "pressure" means. However, currently pressures coming form my life and work, such as house loan, work load, like a mountain on my shoulder. I become easier to be angry and a little tired of current life. Returning back to my childhood may be a best way for me to have a rest. For example, swimming in the lake with my best friend kelly, or go fishing with my grandpa and tell him my secrets. These are the greatest things that I can imagine.

From above reasons, I would go back to my hometown in 1986 if I had such a chance.

帮我看看吧～谢谢。。。

88michaelUID: 2400770

谢谢楼主分享网站，已经尝试美国小站，不错不错:handshake :handshake :handshake

jingno123UID: 2577684

好人好人的说~开始努力了~来学习~